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Having a workout partner can make your regular training sessions more exciting and challenging, and can also turn them into a great bonding experience. But things can go wrong if you only depend on the other person to take charge. When you team up, you must also contribute your fair share, and here’s how.
Over the years, I've trained with various workout partners in different environments: school teams, sports leagues, community running clubs, large commercial gyms, and close-knit, competitive “barbell clubs.” The best workout partners are consistently those who inspire you to work harder, hold you accountable, and make you feel like achieving big goals is possible. To be a great workout buddy, the first step is showing up—and doing so regularly.
You Make Practical Commitments You Can Stick To
Reliability is key. This means setting realistic expectations with your workout partner. Be clear about your individual goals, how many days you can work out, and how much time you can devote to exercise. By being honest about your plans, you can both figure out if your schedules align. Things may not be perfect, but with open communication, you can make it work.
Having someone rely on you to show up for a workout is the essence of the tag-team approach, but life always throws surprises your way (it always does). So if you find yourself needing to cancel a session, set up a clear “bailout agreement” beforehand, where you and your partner agree on what’s a valid excuse for cancellation or being really late. A work deadline or caring for a sick family member might work, but “I’m so tired and sore” won’t fly (unless you've been overdoing it) when your buddy is counting on you for motivation and support.
If you're uncertain about how much time to commit, it's perfectly fine to start with half the time or days you want to dedicate and increase it as necessary. Remember that working out with a partner tends to take longer than solo sessions, so factor that into your schedule.
Your Influence on Your Partner Comes From Action, Not Just Words
You don’t have to keep shouting “You can do it!” over and over. That’s not the only—or even the best—way to inspire your partner. Instead, you need to show up with real effort in your own workouts.
When paired up, people often push harder and go longer than they would alone. This phenomenon is known as the Köhler effect, where feelings of weakness motivate individuals to give more when they're with someone slightly fitter. This is why working out with a partner can be so effective. While you don’t need to be significantly fitter than your partner, you should at least put in your best effort.
Furthermore, behavior is contagious. In his groundbreaking study published in The Quarterly Journal of Economics, economist Bruce Sacerdote demonstrated how both positive and negative habits can spread. He specifically looked at how students with lower academic performance could improve their grades by rooming with high-achieving students. Though this study isn't directly related to fitness, other research, such as one published in the Journal of Applied Physiology, has found that we often adopt the moods and behaviors of our partners, influencing our own performance for better or worse.
In other words, to motivate and maintain the enthusiasm of your workout partner, your own work ethic, attitude, and the effort you put into both the workout and your relationship matter far more than any verbal encouragement. If you're showing disinterest or dragging your feet, it will be obvious and negatively impact both your partner and the workout. If you're struggling to get into the workout mindset, try listening to your favorite workout music or apply the 20-second rule, where you focus on a task that takes 20 seconds or less to complete, making the rest of the workout feel easier.
You Understand How to Spot Your Workout Buddy in the Gym
A great workout buddy doesn’t just motivate their partner to push themselves; they actively help make it happen. Knowing there’s a familiar face at the gym who has your back makes you more inclined to add extra weight than you would on your own, simply because you trust your partner to spot you if trouble arises or to 'spot' you. This gives you the confidence to take on more challenges.
To be an effective spotter (and therefore a great workout partner), you need to understand the do’s and don’ts of spotting someone. A spot is usually only necessary for certain exercises, such as the bench press, squat, and overhead press. The key is not to assist in lifting the weight unless your partner specifically asks for it. This means avoiding touching the bar or weights unless absolutely needed. At the same time, you should be aware of your partner’s limits, allowing them to push through challenges themselves, but stepping in when their form starts to break down.
Check out this video to learn the correct way to spot someone. The key takeaway is to always communicate clearly when a spot is needed.
You Strengthen the Bond Beyond the Gym
A workout might only take an hour in the gym, but as we all know, maintaining fitness momentum outside of the gym can be challenging. Having someone to turn to when times get tough or to celebrate victories with is essential, so your relationship shouldn’t be confined to just gym time. Personally, I enjoy being able to text and talk with my workout partners about everything fitness-related, especially since discussing things like macros and fitness jargon would probably overwhelm my non-fitness friends.
I remember texting a friend once after I overindulged in fried chicken and beer, feeling extremely guilty. I was really beating myself up about it, but after chatting with him, he helped me realize that everything wasn’t as bad as it initially seemed. The point is, you can still motivate and support someone even when you're not physically at the gym. A simple text like, 'Don’t stress, it’s way worse in your head,' or 'We all have those days. Tell me about yours,' can go a long way.
Certainly, these aren’t the only qualities of a great workout buddy, but they are some of the most important. Ultimately, fitness is just as much a mental challenge as it is a physical one. In these moments, what you do or say (or sometimes don’t do or say) can subtly affect your partner’s mindset and motivation. This support can often be the deciding factor between skipping the gym or pushing through and showing up consistently, day after day.
Images courtesy of stoermchen, Fort Rucker, and taberandrew.
