Buzz
Perhaps it’s the nature of confronting mortality daily, but medical professionals often have a dark sense of humor, reflected in their unique slang. They’ve mastered the art of gallows humor, and many of their coded terms can be used openly around patients and families without detection.
A heads-up before you proceed: Many of the informal medical terms listed here are politically incorrect, insensitive, and offensive to various groups. If such content might upset you, it’s best to stop reading now.
There’s an ongoing debate about whether it’s ever appropriate to use such language, even privately, as a way to cope with the weight of their profession. However, that discussion won’t be taking place here.
Not every medical professional in every hospital or clinic uses these slang terms—your healthcare providers are likely always professional and would never use such language behind your back. But just to be safe, here’s a list of some terms you might encounter:
AALFD - Clinically, it’s called 'drug-seeking behavior,' but slangily, it’s AALFD: Another Asshole Looking For Drugs.
ATS - When a patient is faking an illness, doctors might diagnose them with ATS, or 'acute thespian syndrome.'
Beemer: Overweight patients are sometimes called 'beemers' due to their high BMI.
Celestial Discharge: A deceased patient is said to have received a 'celestial discharge.' Also known as D/C to J.C. or ECU.
Code Brown: While 'code blue' signals a medical emergency, 'code brown' means someone has defecated and it needs cleaning. See also VLE.
CTD: If your doctor says you’re 'CTD,' it means you’re 'circling the drain' or 'close to death.' Neither is good news.
D/C to J.C.: This stands for 'discharged to Jesus,' meaning the patient has passed away.
Dyscopia: A made-up term for patients or families struggling to cope.
ECU: If a patient is moved to the Eternal Care Unit, they have died.
FLK: Short for 'Funny Looking Kid,' this term is used by pediatricians for children with nonspecific facial abnormalities. It dates back to at least a 1969 JAMA article criticizing its lack of compassion.
FTD: This acronym has two meanings. In some hospitals, it means 'fixin’ to die,' while in others, it’s 'failure to die,' describing elderly patients who defy the odds.
FOS: Pediatricians use this acronym, meaning 'full of shit,' to describe constipated children. If parents ask, it’s explained as 'full of stool.'
Frequent Flyer: A patient repeatedly admitted for the same unresolved symptoms, as defined by freedictionary.com.
GOMER: Popularized in the 1978 novel House of God, this stands for 'get out of my emergency room,' referring to patients with chronic, incurable conditions.
Hollywood Code: Pretending to treat a patient who is beyond saving, often for the family’s benefit.
Incarceritis: A condition that arises when jail is imminent for the patient.
Krumping (or 'crumping'): Not a dance move, but a term for a patient’s rapid decline.
Status dramaticus: A playful term for patients exaggerating symptoms, akin to 'malingering.'
Social injury of the rectum: A polite way to describe patients with objects stuck in their rectum.
TFTB: Short for 'too fat to breathe,' a blunt term for obesity hypoventilation syndrome.
VLE: A 'valuable life experience,' often refers to assigning unpleasant tasks to juniors, like cleaning up after a code brown.
Walkie-Talkie: Elderly patients who are still mobile and verbal. Sometimes extended to 'walkie-talkie, still use the potty.'
Yellow Submarine: An obese patient with jaundice.
