Buzz
Money issues can be the breaking point for any relationship, but things get especially complicated when it comes to buying a home together.
Recently, I stumbled upon a Reddit post from a first-time homebuyer seeking advice. A couple is about to purchase their first home, with one partner agreeing to buy it under their name, while the girlfriend has taken on the responsibility of paying for all "other expenses." Now, the girlfriend is demanding her name be included on the title, even though she won't be paying towards the mortgage.
Here’s the full account in u/Ok_Egg_8255's own words: "We had already made plans to move in together once our leases end in March. The arrangement was that I would cover the housing costs, and she would take care of everything else. We agreed that buying a home is a smarter decision than continuing to waste money on rent in an expensive area."
"I was pre-approved for a loan last week, and now she’s insisting that her name be on the title."
"This was never part of any prior conversations we had. The mortgage will be $5,000/month, and I fully intend to cover that, as we had agreed upon."
"I’ve told her that if and when we marry, I’d be happy to add her name to the deed. Until then, she will save a lot of money. I estimate that the 'everything else' costs will be around $1,000/month, which is half of what she’s currently paying for rent. Am I being unreasonable?"
Redditors quickly rushed to the comment section to warn u/Ok_Egg_8255, with one comment stating: "Absolutely not. Don’t do it."
"Spend 10 minutes Googling horror stories about couples buying homes without being married. DO NOT GO THROUGH WITH THIS."
This user believed the girlfriend should only be included on the deed after marriage:
"Nope, that’s not something a girlfriend should expect, that’s a 'legal wife, for better or worse' situation. If she’s serious, then you both need to start having the marriage talk."
—Z0ooool
Agreeing, another user commented: "I’d advise against it, I’ve known a few people who went down this path, and in those cases, the relationships didn’t end well."
"I had a coworker who bought a home during the height of the bubble in 2006 with his girlfriend at the time. Then the crash happened, they broke up, and he moved out. She refused to sell the house, and by the time she was willing to, no one was buying or they couldn’t get the price they paid for it by 2009. Last I heard, he only just got out of that house a year or so ago. By then, he was married to someone else and had two kids. It really took a toll on him."
—JTluckenbirds
User u/kilajule proposed a small compromise: "I wouldn’t put her on the deed, but I’d make sure the 'everything else' doesn’t include home maintenance or repairs."
"With every house, you’ll find things that need fixing after moving in. As the owner, that would fall on you. I don’t think adding her to the deed is necessary, but definitely have a conversation about the costs of homeownership, because if that’s considered part of 'everything else,' I can understand why she’s concerned."
And lastly, another user empathized with the girlfriend’s point of view: "It may not be the smartest financial decision for you, but from her perspective, it’s also not financially wise to contribute to the equity of a home without having any stake in that equity."
"I definitely wouldn’t add her to the deed, but if I were you, it would be fair to create a separate agreement that outlines what she would be entitled to in the event of a breakup. Initially, it might not be much, but there should be something, and it should increase over time based on how long you’ve been together."
—DarkPumperknickel
