Buzz
Another week has passed, and 2020 continues to drag on as the longest year ever. Still, life moves forward, and thankfully, the news does too, with some stories that aren’t entirely grim.
People keep making baffling decisions all the time, and occasionally, a completely ridiculous news story emerges. These ten stories took place last week, and hopefully, they’ll offer some lighthearted relief amidst the chaos of the world around us.
10. 'Doctors Remove Cellphone Charger From Man’s Bladder After He Complains Of Stomach Pain'
There’s a Seinfeld episode where Kramer advises, “If you meet a proctologist at a party, don’t walk away. *Plant* yourself there, because you’re about to hear the funniest stories.” He may be onto something with proctologists, but it looks like urologists might also have some wild tales. A 30-year-old man from Guwahati, India, gave his doctors quite the conversation starter when he visited the hospital with abdominal pain. What they found inside wasn’t what the patient claimed, but it was certainly surprising: a phone charging cable.
He initially claimed that he ‘accidentally’ ingested the cable, but after surgery to remove it, it was obvious that it couldn’t have entered his bladder through the usual route. He didn’t swallow it, nor did he place it in any inappropriate location. Instead, he methodically inserted it into his urethra for sexual pleasure. The senior consultant surgeon who treated him referred to it as ‘urethral sounding,’ a practice where an object or liquid is inserted into the urethra for sexual stimulation. In the end, his doctors performed surgery to remove it, which could have been avoided if he had just told them the truth from the start.
9. ‘Man Tries Epic Pool Stunt for 30th Birthday—And Fails Spectacularly’
Dimitry Prigorodov decided to mark his 30th birthday in a big way by renting a luxury cottage for the weekend. He invited his closest friends and family to join him for the celebration, and the cottage was top-notch. It featured an indoor swimming pool, which had a second-floor observation deck surrounded by a glass wall. While this setup was a stunning feature of the home, it also created a bit of a challenge.
As the party continued, Prigorodov decided to perform a daring stunt to wow his guests. He headed to the second floor and attempted to leap over the glass wall and dive into the pool, but things didn’t go as planned. Rather than clearing the wall, he crashed right through it, sending shards of glass into the pool below. ‘It was my birthday, and we were celebrating at the cottage, drinking alcohol. We thought it would be fun to try jumping over the wall. The outcome was unfortunate: I tore ligaments, my left leg stopped working, my hand was also injured... I had two surgeries and a badly bruised chest.’
8. ‘Firefighters Rescue Cow Stuck in River in England’
It’s a typical sight to see firefighters helping animals in distress, and while they are often depicted rescuing cats stuck in trees, the reality is that they’re frequently called upon to save much larger creatures. For example, this week, emergency responders from Avon Fire and Rescue in the UK had to rescue a cow from the Avon River near Kenston Park. The cow had been grazing near the river when she somehow fell in and, despite her best efforts, couldn’t get herself out.
7. ‘Young Boy’s Curiosity Leads to Insertion of 20 Magnetic Balls—Without Telling His Parents’
A few years ago, a new desktop toy called Buckyballs became popular. These magnetic chrome spheres, ranging from 3 to 5 mm in diameter, were advertised as a fun fidgeting gadget. You could create shapes, form chains, and entertain yourself with them, but they turned out to be dangerously risky for children. The problem arose when the small magnets were ingested, as they could cause bowel perforations if they clung together, leading to warning labels and a ban in many stores.
Unfortunately, an 11-year-old boy from Dongguan, South China, found another harmful use for the toy. Intrigued by the magnets, he decided to insert 20 of them into his penis and didn’t inform his parents. After a week of suffering from pain and blood in his urine, he finally went to the hospital, where doctors discovered the magnetic balls in his bladder. Thankfully, they were able to remove them through a minimally invasive procedure, and no lasting damage was done. It's not uncommon for children, especially those between five and six, or ten to thirteen years old, to experiment with such things, so it’s something to watch out for if your child complains of abdominal pain.
6. ‘Scottish Train Service Disrupted by Wild Boar on the Tracks’
In the days when trains were the main mode of transport in countries like the United States, the locomotive was often equipped with a device known as the pilot. These were commonly referred to as 'cow plows,' designed to clear obstacles from the tracks. When moving slowly, they would gently push cattle off the track without causing harm, allowing the train to continue on its journey until the next animal came along. These pilots are no longer in use, as they are no longer necessary—cattle are hardly ever found wandering on the tracks these days.
5. ‘Man Breaks His 150th Guinness World Record By Drinking Lime Juice’
Last week, David Rush from Idaho made headlines by setting a new world record for drinking a liter of lemon juice in under 17 seconds. But his quest for record-breaking achievements didn’t stop there. This week, he upped the ante by drinking a liter of lime juice in record time. He finished the intensely sour liquid in an impressive 17.29 seconds, surpassing the previous record of 21.81 seconds.
Rush’s goal is to break as many records as possible to raise awareness for STEM education, but he plans to take a break from chugging sour liquids, as they’ve taken a toll on his digestive health. ‘I think I’m done with drinking records for a while and will look for more physically demanding ones that’ll get my blood pumping, instead of making me sit still all day afterward. My sister-in-law, a nurse practitioner, also told me to stop before I damage my stomach lining (I guess I should listen to her, and my body agrees too).’
4. ‘Wayward Alligator Wrangled in Walmart Parking Lot’
In Florida, it seems like nothing surprises anyone anymore. While much of the news from the Sunshine State revolves around the infamous 'Florida Man' pulling off ridiculous stunts, there's much more happening. Florida is home to some incredible wildlife, and alligators are one of the most common, often showing up in unexpected and, frankly, undesirable places. Last week, we heard about two alligators squaring off at a couple’s front door. This week, however, the alligator drama moved to a Walmart parking lot.
One of these massive, toothy creatures was spotted casually strolling around a Walmart parking lot in Fort Myers Beach. Unsurprisingly, people gathered around to snap photos and videos while authorities were contacted to handle the situation. After some effort, they managed to corral the gator into a shopping cart. While we don’t know the exact fate of the gator, it's likely it was returned to the nearest water source, as that’s the usual protocol for dealing with wandering alligators. This type of event happens much more often than Floridians would care to admit.
3. ‘Woman Attempts to Rescue Reluctant Squirrel from Pool’
It’s not just cows that find their way into bodies of water they shouldn’t be in. This week, a woman from Lumberton, Texas, learned this firsthand when she discovered a squirrel trapped in her kid’s inflatable pool, struggling to escape. Seeing the poor creature in distress, she decided to help, but like most people, she wanted to avoid any close contact with the squirrel. So, she came up with a plan to rescue it as gently as possible without touching it.
She grabbed a chair and tried to scoop the squirrel out with it, all the while chanting, ‘I’m trying to save you!’ The squirrel, naturally, wasn’t too keen on the strange object and dodged her attempts. Eventually, however, she managed to get it onto the chair. Just before it could land on solid ground, the squirrel made a surprise leap onto her, climbing up her body. The ensuing panic caused the squirrel to return to the pool, while the woman got some scratches on her arm. After a more careful second attempt, the squirrel was finally rescued safely. Fortunately, the entire comical fiasco was caught on video and quickly went viral as a perfect example of how *not* to handle a rodent rescue.
2. ‘Four-Year-Old Girl Puts Dad in Hot Water After Finding Woman’s Bra in His Car’
Kids have a way of saying the most unexpected things, and if you've been around children recently, you're well aware of how true that is. With no filter to hold back their thoughts, children speak whatever comes to mind. While this can often be cute, it can also lead to some awkward situations if not carefully managed. This week, a tweet from the past resurfaced, revealing how a father learned that his four-year-old daughter had no filter when she found a bra in his car.
The young girl mentioned it to her mother, asking, 'Mummy, why is your bra in Daddy’s car?' The question was met with a death stare from her father’s wife, making him panic and immediately become defensive. He denied it, asking her what she was talking about, and the little girl responded with, 'Ya huh, cup thing with straps.' It turns out, the girl had mistaken a facemask for a bra, and while the father breathed a sigh of relief, his wife might have been thinking, ‘the gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.’
1. ‘Shocked Brits Say American Woman’s Attempt at Making Tea Should Be ‘Illegal’
Last week, Italians were in an uproar over one man's botched attempt at making Carbonara, but this week, it's all about tea. The British take their tea seriously, and when someone mishandles the preparation of this beloved beverage, it doesn’t take long for the internet to explode with anger. This week, Brits are up in arms over an American woman, living in the UK, who shared her method for making what she calls 'British Tea.' If you're British, brace yourself before reading what happens next!
In her video, she explains that after a previous post showing how she made iced tea, viewers started asking how she would prepare hot tea or British tea. To answer, she begins by microwaving a mug of water for one minute, then adds half a cup of milk. Following this, she places a teabag in the cup, adds a generous amount of sugar, and gives it a good stir. The video, posted on TikTok, received a flood of reactions from British viewers, including comments such as 'I’m British and QUAKING' and 'I’m sort of triggered. Why so much sugar? I just died for a minute.'
