Top 10 Common Objects That People Have Married

Most of us are content to think of people as people, cats as cats, and stones as simply stones. There is a distinct separation between humans, animals, and inanimate objects. However, for some individuals, the boundary isn't as obvious.

Objectophilia—a form of romantic or sexual attraction to inanimate objects—encompasses a variety of perspectives. On one end are those who believe that objects possess their own will, intelligence, and emotions. On the other hand, there are individuals who view objects as nothing more than what they are, yet still form a deep affection for them.

For some, love leads to a commitment so strong that they marry the object of their affection. In certain cases, this may be a genuine display of love, while in others, it’s often motivated by a desire for publicity. We’ll explore both motivations here. There are even ceremonies where people can marry the object they love, though such unions are not legally recognized anywhere. But let's dive into it—here are the top ten everyday objects that people have chosen to marry.

10. The Love Story of Aaron Chervenak

When artist and director Aaron Chervenak tied the knot at the Little Vegas Chapel, he certainly played the part of the groom. Dressed in formal attire, he looked every bit the picture of sophistication. His bride, however, chose a much more minimalist style.

As the ceremony reached its peak, the officiant posed the question:

“Do you, Aaron, take this smartphone to be your lawfully wedded wife, and do you vow to love her, honor her, provide comfort, and stay faithful to her?”

Aaron responded affirmatively, and the couple exchanged vows. Despite the ceremony being legally invalid, Aaron didn’t seem concerned. Nor did he mind the fact that most people tend to lose loyalty to their smartphones over time, eventually upgrading and relegating their old devices to a forgotten drawer.

Aaron’s gesture highlighted just how integral phones have become to our lives, with many of us unable to imagine a world without them. The added publicity also certainly didn’t hurt.

9. The Story of Rain Gordon

It’s not uncommon to meet a partner at a local store, and that’s where Rain Gordon met Gideon. It was 2015, Rain was 24, and she was from Moscow, Russia. Their relationship flourished, and five years after their first encounter, they tied the knot.

This is their story… Rain was on a shopping trip for a photo shoot prop when she found her true love. And Gideon was that prop—because Gideon is a briefcase.

Rain had always believed that objects have souls, and when she was young, she developed a crush on a new shopping center. Although she kept that secret, she had no qualms about openly sharing her love for Gideon. She insists that her connections with real men have never brought her the same satisfaction as her bond with her briefcase.

8. Pascale Finds Comfort in Her Cuddle Buddy

If you're like me, mornings can be a struggle, and you might be tempted to stay curled up with your duvet just a little longer. In Britain, February often brings gloomy weather, making the idea of spending it in bed rather than at work even more appealing. Pascale, however, took things a step further.

In a ceremony held in Exeter, Pascale ‘married’ her duvet. The event was open to anyone wearing sleepwear, and 120 guests attended. Pascale, glowing in her slippers and pajamas, smiled joyfully as she exchanged vows. Her long-time partner, Johnny, kept his thoughts to himself.

Pascale openly admitted that her ‘marriage’ was a playful stunt, but there was a deeper message behind it. She aimed to raise awareness about loneliness in today’s world and strategically chose a date just before Valentine’s Day to maximize attention. And she certainly got it.

7. Ned Nefer Fosters a Unique Connection

Ned Nefer first met his wife’s head in 1986, and over the following years, he gave her a body. According to Ned, she guided him throughout the process, and she has always been the driving force in their relationship.

Once Ned had finished putting together his wife, Teagan, they exchanged vows at a private ceremony in California. Ned, speaking on their behalf, shared these words:

“Although we weren’t legally married, we exchanged vows by the ocean; we said our promises to each other, and we’ve done our best to honor them.”

Teagan loves being outdoors, so in 2011, Ned fulfilled her wish by taking her for a stroll through the countryside in rural New York. Teagan was in a wheelchair. Local police spoke with him but chose not to arrest him, as he appeared harmless and content.

6. Love Knows No Boundaries

Robert Frost’s poem “Mending Wall” begins with the line:

“Something there is that doesn’t love a wall…”

Perhaps something, but certainly someone did—or did, until a tragic loss. When Germany was split into two nations, the democratic West and the communist East, Berlin sat in East Germany but was itself divided. To prevent citizens from fleeing the communist East to the democratic West, the East German authorities erected a wall in 1961.

The Berlin Wall stood as a symbol of division, but for Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, a Swedish woman in her mid-twenties, the Wall was the object of her affection. Eija first fell for the Wall when she was just seven years old, the same year the Wall was constructed. In 1979, when the Wall turned 18, she married it.

As the 1980s progressed, tensions were rising, eventually leading to the collapse of the Soviet system. The Wall became an unwitting casualty, as authorities dismantled it in 1989.

The young widow turned her affections to railroad tracks, bridges, and fences, but none could replace the Wall. Eija passed away in 2015, undoubtedly still mourning her lost love.

5. The Perfect Match

Noorul Mahjabeen Hassan prefers to be known as Fractal Database. While studying math at the University of Florida, she made the decision to marry her Tetris game. Fractal was no naïve soul when she fell deeply in love with Tetris.

Fractal had a history of relationships. One of her most significant had been with Pierre, a calculator she carried with her and touched daily. But even with Pierre in her pocket, Fractal was drawn to other objects. She has a particular fondness for IKEA, iPods, GPS systems, and Google Cloud. (Though Google Cloud might not technically count as an object).

One can only hope that Tetris isn’t the jealous type.

4. A Love That Runs Deep

Tim was not much of a traveler and didn’t meet many people. If someone wanted to see him, they had to go to him—he wasn’t going anywhere. Tim had little experience in the modern world, but you couldn’t call him naïve or innocent, as Tim was a poplar tree.

However, in 2015, Tim did meet someone. Thirty-one-year-old Emma McCabe stumbled upon him and fell in love. After a series of unsuccessful relationships with men, Emma decided she much preferred the company of Tim, the tree.

McCabe described their passionate bond as the best experience she had ever had, savoring the sensation of skin-to-bark contact. Tim, however, didn’t offer his own thoughts on the matter.

3. The Thrills of the Fair

When Amy Wolfe took her partner’s surname, Weber, alongside her own, it was a symbol of her deep devotion to their union. Weber was the roller coaster manufacturer she had fallen in love with.

She took her connection with 1001 Nacht seriously, initially falling in love with it at the age of 13. However, she still needed to ride it 3000 times to be fully certain she was making the right choice. The distance between Pennsylvania and New York, where she was based, didn’t stand in the way of their love story.

Amy’s past infatuations, including model spaceships, the Twin Towers, and a banister, didn’t present any problems for her or her beloved fairground ride.

Since her partner is immobile, Amy keeps him close by carrying some extra nuts and bolts from him wherever she goes.

2. Off the Shelf

At the age of seven, Maria Yoon and her family relocated from South Korea to the United States. Holding onto traditional values, her father suggested that, by the time she reached thirty and remained unmarried, it was high time for her to find a husband.

Maria is a performance artist who decided to turn the concept of marriage into a piece of art.

Over the span of nine years, Maria tied the knot in every state, Puerto Rico, the District of Columbia, and the United States Virgin Islands. She wed 36 men and two women, supplemented by unions with several objects, including a ghost town, a lobster trap, and the Liberty Bell. Her film about these adventures has earned critical praise.

Her goal appeared to be to provoke thoughts on the nature of marriage. I suspect her father regrets suggesting she settle down.

1. Tower of Power

Erika Eiffel was dismissed by the United States Air Force for a personality disorder, one symptom being her romantic attachment to an F-15 fighter jet during her time at the Air Force Academy.

A skilled archer, Eiffel attributes her athletic achievements to the strong bond she shares with her cherished bow. It was almost destined when she crossed paths with the Eiffel Tower in 2004, and she quickly fell in love. By 2007, the two had married. Despite the tower's 130-year age difference, their love story continues to thrive, with Erika stating that their affection is mutual.

The French are known for their strong protection of cultural icons, but they have yet to comment on the marital status of the Eiffel Tower.

Erika Eiffel is the founder of Objectum Sexuality International, a community that unites people who have a deep affection for inanimate objects.