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Nicaragua, sometimes pronounced "Nica-wah-wah" by the elite, stands as the largest nation in Central America. Positioned between Honduras to the north and Costa Rica to the south, Nicaragua is affectionately known as "the land of lakes and volcanoes."
Since its independence as a republic in 1838, Nicaragua has experienced its share of dramatic moments. Volcanoes! The Banana Wars! The Yankees! The Communists! The birthplace of Mick Jagger’s first wife! Nicaragua, folks!
10. A Lake With 430 Volcanic Islands
Lake Nicaragua was initially dubbed the "Freshwater Sea" by the explorers who first laid eyes on it, mistakenly believing it was the ocean. True to their adventurous nature (as you’d expect from conquistadors), they tasted the water. Their sharp intellect led them to quickly realize it wasn’t salty, and they declared it a freshwater ocean. Naturally, right?
We shouldn't be too harsh on the early explorers. After all, Lake Nicaragua is no ordinary body of water. It’s encircled by more than 400 volcanic islands, some of which it partially submerges. The imposing 1,610-meter-high (5,282 ft) Concepcion volcano, which last erupted in 1983, along with the smaller Maderas volcano, create the island of Ometepe.
The lake takes its name from Nicarao, an indigenous chief whose people once lived along its shores, with agua meaning "water" in Spanish. Notice a pattern? "Hey Pablo, does this look like water to you?" Let’s be honest, the conquistadors weren’t exactly the brightest.
9. The Consequences of Imperialism
Speaking of ill-conceived imperialistic actions in Central America, let’s talk about the Banana Wars. In the 1920s and ’30s, after US Marines took control of Nicaragua, Augusto Cesar Sandino spearheaded the Nicaraguan resistance. This period of the Banana Wars was especially brutal, marked by puppet presidents, aerial bombardment of civilians, and guerrilla warfare in the jungles.
In 1927, Sandino declared war on the United States, calling it "the enemy of our race" after the end of the hostilities that had begun with a US-backed coup that placed Adolfo Diaz in power. The subsequent civil war saw an influx of US troops, and a peace treaty was signed in 1928, accepted by all—except Sandino.
Crazy times often produce even crazier individuals, and by all accounts, Sandino was no exception. His message was clear:
Nicaragua will not become the possession of Imperialists. I will fight for my cause as long as I live. [ . . .] If fate should bring my defeat, I have five tons of dynamite in my arsenal, which I will detonate myself. The sound of the explosion will be heard [for 400 kilometers (250 mi)]. All who hear will know that Sandino is dead. Let no traitor or invader desecrate my remains.
When he wasn’t inadvertently laying the groundwork for Iron Maiden, Sandino fought the US Marine Corps with machetes and 19th-century rifles. Despite consistently losing (though still claiming improbable victories), Sandino transformed from the leader of a small guerrilla group into the commander of an army of 3,000 men.
By the time of his assassination by government forces in 1934, Sandino had successfully compelled the US to pull its troops out of Nicaragua by making their presence too costly and unappealing. Sound familiar?
Today, he is celebrated as a national hero in Nicaragua, and the prominent Sandinista political party carries his name.
8. The Iran-Contra Scandal Started in Nicaragua
No discussion of Nicaragua would be complete without mentioning the infamous cocaine and arms trade that took place there. Ignoring the lessons of previous decades, former US President Ronald Reagan decided to dabble in some nation-building. As we all know, the best way to make friends is by selling people drugs and guns.
Why wouldn’t this approach work on a global scale? The answer is: It did.
All it takes is cozying up to the somewhat unhinged Medellin Cartel, the outright crazy ayatollahs in Iran, and the rather questionable Contras in Nicaragua. Then, throw in a heap of cash, some fast planes, and start moving cocaine and AK-47s around.
The aftermath for Nicaragua was a prolonged war, while fine individuals like Oliver North and Panama's General Noriega did their utmost to bring down a nation. Fortunately (well, as fortunate as possible under the circumstances), North was caught, and the Sandinistas lost at the ballot box instead of the battlefield. Hooray for democracy.
7. And It’s Still Ongoing!
The problem with democracy is that it’s open to anyone. Even President Daniel Ortega can make it work. After defeating the Contras in battle and then losing an election, he managed to reclaim his position in 2006.
What kind of democracy is this—where individuals can be elected president despite the people's wishes? This called for yet another Contra insurgency. You could say they were 'The Resistance.'
Though the Contras are a mere shadow of their former selves without a steady supply of cocaine and AK-47s from the President of the United States, they've still managed to cause plenty of deaths. With the odds a little more even, counterinsurgents have resorted to some rather extreme measures. In one chilling instance, Contra leaders were killed with bombs concealed in backpacks and delivered by couriers.
"There are no armed groups in this country," said Julio Cesar Aviles, the army chief, last year. "I’ve stated this numerous times."
Julio is mistaken.
6. A Rebel Leader in Power
In today’s terms, filibustering is just some fellow in Congress reciting the complete works of Dr. Seuss, then effortlessly transitioning into a tale about that one time in college when he visited a jazz club. It’s a tactic to thwart those pesky liberals in their tireless push for people to be able to access birth control. Not under the watch of Senator Grumbly McFiveskin (R-AZ) you won’t. You communists will never prevail.
As American as this modern definition of filibustering may seem, it wasn’t the original. Texas itself was a product of filibustering. Cuba nearly became one too. A filibuster involved American citizens seizing land by force, declaring it independent from its previous owners, and then having that land join the United States.
While the US government publicly disapproved of this practice, it wasn’t like they rejected California’s bid for statehood. And that brings us to Nicaragua. The man who conquered La Paz, Baja California, with just 45 men was a small Tennessee prodigy by the name of William Walker. After liberating Mexicans at gunpoint so they could also enjoy the 'benefits' of legalized slavery, Walker turned his attention south.
At the time, Nicaragua was in the midst of a civil war between the cities of Granada and Leon, making it ripe for the picking. With Leon losing, Walker swiftly persuaded them to appoint him as their supreme general. His backing of well-armed American mercenaries likely played a significant role. After seizing Granada in 1855, Walker graciously resigned as supreme general and declared himself president instead.
Walker’s rule ushered in the imposition of English as the official language and expanded the practice of legalized slavery. His reign came to an end when Costa Rica, backed by Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador, invaded. Given Walker's habit of shooting people and seizing their land, this seemed like a logical move.
Fortunately, Americans learned from Walker’s example and never invaded anyone again. (Well, at least not until 1858, when marines from the USS Vandalia killed 14 natives and burned down 115 huts in retaliation for the killing of two American citizens.)
5. The First Female President in the Americas
In 1990, Nicaragua made history by electing Violeta Chamorro—the first woman to be elected president in any democracy on the continent. She became the first female president of any Central American nation, serving from 1990 to 1997. It's important to note that she was preceded as a female head of state in the Americas by Isabel Perón, but that wasn’t because the Argentinians had a choice in the matter.
Chamorro, a former Sandinista, triumphed over President Ortega in the 1990 elections. The elections were free and fair, and Chamorro’s leadership helped usher in a time of reconciliation and peace in the country.
During her time in office, Chamorro removed restrictions on press freedom, privatized industries, and worked to heal the rifts caused by years of violence. In a rare stroke of success, she left Nicaragua in a much improved state compared to how she found it.
4. The Safest Country in Central America
Despite the historical and ongoing presence of armed gangs and uprisings, Nicaragua holds the distinction of having the lowest murder rate in Central America. In fact, it ranks among the least murderous nations globally.
The global homicide rate is currently estimated at 8.86 per 100,000 people. Nicaragua’s rate is only 3.4 per 100,000. For comparison, the murder rate in the US is 7.1 per 100,000, but in cities where Democrats are in office, the rates climb much higher: Los Angeles at 14.8 per 100,000, Chicago at 21.9, Atlanta at 31.7, Washington DC at 41.8, and New Orleans at 43.3.
It’s remarkable that Nicaragua maintains a low prison population and a modest military, yet it doesn't seem overrun with crime—especially when you consider that it’s less than 30 years removed from a civil war. A quick glance at neighboring countries provides some context: Costa Rica, a popular tourist spot, has much higher crime and murder rates. The notion of Nicaragua as a war-torn nation ruled by a military junta is a stark misrepresentation.
3. The Army Might Kill You and Claim You’re a Drug Dealer
While we’ve already touched on the ongoing uprising, it’s important to acknowledge that the state isn’t exactly blameless. In November 2017, the army killed Francisco Perez Davila (the brother of a former ‘re-Contra’ leader), his two sons, and three others on his property.
For anyone with a reasonable perspective on the matter, it’s clear this appears to be a political assassination. Davila had been accused of supporting insurgents. The army claims that 9 kilograms (20 lbs) of cannabis were found on the premises, labeling the deceased as ‘delinquents.’
Whether or not there were drugs involved, it hardly seems like a justification for executing people. The bodies of the victims were taken by soldiers and, as of this writing, have not been returned.
Cardinal Leopoldo Brenes, the Archbishop of Managua, called for the return of the bodies so they could be properly buried and remarked:
The usual practice in rural areas is for children to bring food to their fathers wherever they may be—whether they’re labeled as rebels or criminals. That family connection, that bond, is deeply rooted in the peasantry, and it’s hard for us to understand why these children had to die. We are still awaiting an explanation from the army.
Despite the public outcry, President Ortega had not spoken about the killings 14 days after the massacre. However, he did find time to mark the first anniversary of the death of his close friend Fidel Castro.
2. A One-of-a-Kind Addressing System
In Nicaragua, street names are not used for addresses. Instead, locations are described based on nearby landmarks. For example, instead of ‘1 West Street,’ an address might be described as: ‘From the Calvario Church, one block south, half a block east.’ Sounds simple, right? Except when you don’t know what the Calvario Church looks like (unless you check the photo above) or even which direction is south.
This is the beginner level of addressing in Nicaragua. Some addresses might go like: ‘behind where the opticians were, one block north, two blocks down.’ You’ll not only have to know where the opticians used to be, but also that Nicaraguans sometimes use ‘up’ (arriba) for east and ‘down’ (abajo) for west, all influenced by the direction of the Sun.
Things get even more intricate in small towns, where directions might be based on historical events. You could be told to head to where Sr. Morales was found dead or where the bakery once burned down. But at least when you visit, you’ll need to brush up on your Spanish and have a chat with the locals.
1. Lake Nicaragua: Home to Sharks!
Indeed, Lake Nicaragua deserves two mentions for its sheer awe. It’s the only place on Earth where, in the event of a volcanic eruption, you could dive into a freshwater lake to escape, only to be eaten by sharks. At a length of 2.4 meters (7.9 ft) and a weight of 130 kilograms (290 lb), the Lake Nicaragua shark was once believed to be the world’s only freshwater shark.
Following the revelation in 1961 that Lake Nicaragua isn’t actually landlocked, it was discovered that bull sharks have the remarkable ability to adapt their physiology. By reducing the osmolality (salt concentration) in their blood and frequently urinating when in fresh water, these sharks can transform into a terrifying part of your worst apocalyptic vision.
Note: The author of this list reserves the rights to any movies or books involving sharks and volcanoes. Shark-cano. A volcano filled with sharks. Cool, right? When it erupts, only Casper Van Dien can save the city from the combination of lava and sharks. What has science wrought?
