Buzz
The rising Coronavirus pandemic has taken over global headlines for over two months. As nations lock down, industries halt, and people follow social distancing guidelines, the world faces challenges in containing the virus. Families are torn apart as political leaders revive the concept of borders, closing them, while store shelves are emptied. The effects of this virus will be felt for a long time.
Yet, amidst the gravity of the situation, humanity has demonstrated our ability to find humor even in the toughest times.
An unforeseen result of the pandemic is the worldwide scarcity of an everyday essential: Toilet paper. It has become the new ‘Buttcoin,’ as shoppers everywhere are confronted with bare shelves in the toilet paper aisle.
In an unprecedented buying frenzy not witnessed since tulip bulbs were the height of fashion, people have been hoarding carts full of toilet paper instead of food as they prepare for lockdowns. The thought of what anyone will do with a two-year supply of bathroom tissue is beyond comprehension.
With shelves emptied of paper products, shoppers line up for hours just to get a single roll of two-ply, bringing to mind images of WWII rationing. Toilet paper riots and heightened security around this highly coveted commodity are becoming the norm, while social media memes keep getting more hilarious.
As shoppers worldwide cope with this unusual crisis, funny news stories have started to surface, highlighting amusing reactions to the great toilet paper shortage.
10. Depleting Supplies
We’ve all experienced that gut-wrenching moment when we show up at the store too late to snag our emergency supplies. Many of us even set alarms to catch the early morning crowd, only to be left heartbroken by the barren shelves.
Two Los Angeles musicians recently injected some humor into the situation. Amused onlookers watched as the two professional violinists, clad in life jackets, made their way to the looted toilet paper aisle. Without missing a beat, they began playing the 9th-century hymn 'Nearer My God to Thee' in front of the empty shelves.
The viral parody of the bandmaster's scene from James Cameron's 1997 film 'Titanic' spread quickly as essential supplies sank as fast as the ship itself.
9. Toilet Paper Crisis
Running low on toilet paper can be a domestic disaster, but some needed a reminder that it wasn't a life-or-death situation. In Newport, Oregon, U.S. police had to issue a public advisory urging people not to call 911 just because they had run out of toilet paper.
Authorities reassured the community that they would make it through without police intervention, offering old-school solutions like newspaper or fabric rags as alternatives.
Meanwhile, in Australia, police had to start distributing toilet paper and paper towels at local supermarkets to calm the growing 'roll-rage' panic.
8. Pricey Toilet Paper
When shortages strike, profiteers are sure to follow. It's no surprise that hoarders are now targeting panicked online buyers, seeking to make a profit off their prized stash.
Some individuals, though, have used eBay to inject humor into the situation, listing toilet paper as a joke item for sale.
In New South Wales, an Australian man posted a two-ply generic toilet roll for AUD 1000, mocking the crisis. He never expected to sell it and thought no one would even bid AUD 10 for it. To his surprise, a buyer accepted the absurd price, leaving him stunned. 'I didn’t even think anyone would bid AUD 10 for it,' he told the media.
Similarly, in Queensland, another prank saw a 24-pack of Kleenex (RRP AUD$15) sold for AUD$500. To date, neither buyer has fully paid for their toilet humor deal.
7. Coveted Toilet Roll
A UK arcade owner came up with a 'loo-crative' idea to mock the absurdity of people fighting for toilet paper in supermarket aisles. The chaotic rush to grab a roll reminded him of arcade games, where players scramble for toys inside a claw machine.
The East Yorkshire entrepreneur cleared out the usual plush toys from these vending machines, where players typically pay 30p for the chance to grab a cuddly bear.
In their place, he filled the machines with rolls of toilet paper, and beachgoers lined up, eager to 'spend a penny' while securing a quirky but increasingly sought-after prize.
Other vending machines joined in the fun, adding hand sanitizer to the prize pool, another coveted item that was also in short supply.
6. Toilet Paper on the Go
I wonder if they needed to purchase a separate ticket just for this multi-pack of TP?
5. More Valuable Than Gold
A Los Angeles jeweler decided that toilet paper had become more valuable than gold, cleverly leveraging the shortage as a marketing stunt.
Hoping to clear his surplus of rings just as quickly as a toilet paper shipment, a Nevada jeweler offered a roll of high-quality toilet paper for USD 3,999. While this might seem overly expensive even in the current shortage, the package also included a complimentary one-carat diamond ring.
4. Forgotten Treasures
While sorting through the belongings of elderly relatives, hidden gems are often discovered—priceless art, valuable antiques, jewelry stashes, or even hidden cash. But who would imagine that a five-year supply of toilet paper could become an unexpected treasure?
In Sydney, Australia, a man was rummaging through his late father’s storage space when he unearthed what would have been a rather dull find just a few months ago. Tucked away in a corner were 270 rolls of toilet paper from the 1980s—clearly purchased in bulk decades ago and long forgotten.
3. Old-Fashioned “Dunny Squares”
Australians are notorious for their cheeky reactions to any crisis, and social media is filled with memes celebrating the resourcefulness of newspaper. Once upon a time, these makeshift alternatives were known as 'dunny squares' in the days of our grandparents.
A Northern Territory newspaper offered its readers a humorous solution to the toilet paper shortage, showcasing the ongoing relevance of print media in the digital era.
Bringing back the nostalgic practice of hanging torn-up newspaper strips on a string outside the outdoor toilet, the NT News printed 8 blank pages for readers to use in case of an emergency. The pages even included helpful cutlines, so readers could maximize their makeshift toilet paper supply. Sadly, the free gift didn’t include disposal guidelines.
2. Floral Bouquet
Do you remember the floral toilet paper? Certain premium brands offered rolls printed with floral designs, paired with a selection of bouquet-inspired scents to enrich your bathroom experience.
If you're nostalgic for these floral bathroom accessories, an Arkansas florist will craft a beautiful bouquet—of toilet rolls—for just $75 USD.
Just regular two-ply, nothing extravagant, but these days most of us are just happy to grab whatever we can find. Crafted from his personal “pre-corona” stockpile, the unique “floral” tribute features the typical ribbons and greenery framing the centerpiece—multiple rolls of toilet paper. If you’re really in a bind, you could even use the greenery.
1. Should Have Bought 2-Ply
We’ve all seen images of overzealous shoppers filling their carts with toilet paper, paper towels, and tissues. A common question is, “Where will they store it all?”
A UK driver didn’t think things through when he loaded his van with coveted paper products. When police stopped him in Blackwell, they discovered that his selfish hoard had pushed his vehicle beyond the legal weight limit. His savings went straight down the toilet when he was hit with a GBP 300 fine. Maybe if he had stuck to two-ply, he would have stayed underweight.
