Buzz
As the age-old adage says, "Nothing is certain but death and taxes," and indeed, that holds true—unless, of course, you’re fortunate enough to live in a tax haven! This list focuses on the first part—death. When the inevitable happens, most of us end up inside a coffin or casket. For most, it’s a simple wooden box with handles. But for some, the afterlife demands something far more extraordinary. Here are ten unusual coffins for those who prefer to go out with a bang!
10. An Egg-cellent Farewell
In the UK, there used to be a catchy marketing slogan, "Go to work on an egg." But for some, being laid to rest in an egg might just be taking the metaphor a bit too far. Personally, I side with Woody Allen on this—it's not that I have anything against death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. Especially not if my family decided to give me the Fabergé treatment. Eggsactly!
9. Are You Brave Enough?
So, which came first, the chicken or the egg? In this case, the chicken. Oddly shaped coffins have been quite popular in Ghana for quite some time, and this is a prime example of their unique style. Maybe there’s some truth to the saying that too much white meat isn’t good for you, and as they say: the first sign of heart disease can be rather sudden—death.
8. Stop Wining!
Few things pair better with a light grilled chicken breast than a glass of fragrant chardonnay. Whoever this coffin was crafted for clearly had a fondness for wine and likely enjoyed a good social life, both in the living world and the afterlife. We can only hope that they were as beloved in death as they were in life, and that many kind words were spoken at their funeral. It's just unfortunate that they missed it by a few days.
7. High as a Kite
Perhaps this coffin was made for someone who adored flying kites. Or maybe it alludes to their enjoyment of certain substances of a more questionable nature. Who’s to say? At least this individual left the world with the hope of being uplifted in the afterlife, literally. I’d imagine this coffin belonged to an agnostic, someone who might have hoped that if there’s a higher power out there, it would offer a helping hand—if, of course, such a being actually existed.
6. The UFC
If the wind is off on the day of your funeral, you may not achieve the kind of levitation required to reach the heavens. So why not opt for a UFC—Unidentified Flying Coffin? Personally, I’m skeptical about UFOs, but given where I grew up, maybe I should believe in them. That said, many fear death simply because it feels so incredibly ordinary. At least this individual had the foresight to choose an extraordinary way to go out!
5. Jaws of Death
Oh, the shark has pretty teeth, dear, and he shows them, pearly white. Or so the old song goes, though this particular shark seems to have missed a few dental appointments. So, who would choose this coffin? A fisherman? A mafia boss? Churchill once remarked that he was ready to meet his maker, though he wondered if his maker was ready to meet him. Same goes for the great creator if (s)he encounters this guy before he makes his final exit from his coffin!
4. Not One For the Vampires
Some people decide that life isn’t worth living if they have to be good, and as a result, they tend to die young. This coffin might suggest that the person had at least one talent, maybe even in a Billy Elliott kind of way. It reminds me of a joke: Do you know which ballet is adored by squirrels all over the world? Why, The Nutcracker, of course! Now, what was that joke again? Oh, I’ve forgotten. Angelina Jolie will certainly never end up in a coffin like this one. She once said that when she saw other little girls dreaming of becoming ballet dancers, she herself longed to be a vampire.
3. Rock And Roll Lives! Well, Maybe Not.
One can only hope that the deceased is lying in the base of this guitar-shaped coffin, and not the whole thing. By nature or sheer accident, they would have had to be a giraffe to fit properly. Decca Records, when they turned down the Beatles, claimed they didn’t like the sound of the band and thought the guitar was on its way out. To be replaced by what exactly? The stylophone? Maybe when Rolf Harris ascends to his own stairway to heaven, he can have one made in this shape!
Contributor: R J Evans
2. Pine Away Pineapple
Here’s another quirky creation from the inventive minds of Ghana. One can only hope that the person who commissioned this coffin made their living growing pineapples. Or perhaps their family purchased it as a posthumous tribute, a cheeky farewell to their unique tastes. Or, as Sheridan once put it, they might have been the very pineapple of politeness. Whatever that’s supposed to mean.
1. One For the Vampires?
One thing that’s for sure about vampires is that death certainly suits them. I can picture Lestat admiring this little coffin, only to grow bored with it and quickly switch to something completely different. This one looks rather small though—maybe it was designed for a young vampire, one who hadn’t learned the dangers of running around with wooden stakes. And speaking of vampires, if Dracula can't see his reflection in the mirror, why is his hair always so perfectly styled?
