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Our forebears would have found the fairy tales we share with our children today remarkably tame. In modern times, we sanitize our stories—removing the sensual, the grotesque, and the strange. However, in the past, when people first began telling folktales, they sought to make sense of the world around them—and the grotesque and strange were integral parts of their lives.
We’ve already teased the legends of the Romans and Egyptians, but grotesque stories weren't unique to one culture. Every society left behind some bizarre tales that we no longer retell today.
Before continuing, a word of caution: The tales once shared to lull children to sleep may not be suitable for young ears today.
10. The Soaring Vagina of Goddess Kapo
The people of Hawaii told the tale of a goddess called "Kohe-kohe-lele," which, loosely translated, means "Kapo with the Wandering Vagina."
Kapo’s flying vagina was her mystical power, and she used it to save lives. One legend recounts the day her sister was attacked by Kamapua’a, a half-man, half-pig fertility deity. Kapo rushed to her aid in the only way she knew: "Kapo raised her hula skirt with one hand, and with the other, seized her crotch, detaching her vagina," the tale says.
Kapo’s airborne vagina flew past Kamapua’a, who became so excited that he began to chase it. He followed it all the way to the edge of the land, where it landed and left a mark, a crater the Hawaiians named "Kohelepelepe," believing it was the imprint left by Kapo’s flying vagina.
Strangely, despite being named after her sexual organ, Kapo despises that part of her body. When a Hawaiian shaman attempted to channel Kapo's spirit, they had to wear a ti leaf for protection. Otherwise, she risked having a crucial part of her body torn apart by the goddess.
9. The Demise of Maui
If you took your children to see Disney’s Moana, you’re familiar with the legendary Maori hero Maui. However, the movie has faced some criticism for not fully capturing the true legend of Maui. Indeed, Disney omitted some significant aspects, such as the part where Maui gets crushed to death inside a woman’s vagina.
According to the legend, Maui was determined to secure immortality for all of humanity. However, before embarking on his quest, his father warned him that he was destined to die before achieving his goal, killed by Hine-nui-te-po, the goddess of the night.
Determined to defy the prophecy, Maui sets out to defeat Hine-nui-te-po, accompanied—fittingly enough for a Disney character—by a group of adorable little bird companions. When he encounters Hine-nui-te-po, she’s enormous and asleep with her legs wide apart.
Maui climbs into her, intent on killing her from the inside. However, the sight of him crawling inside the massive woman is too much for the Tiwakawaka bird to bear. The bird bursts into laughter, waking the goddess while Maui is still inside her. She clenches her thighs together, and Maui is cut in half.
According to Maori legends, this was the first death on Earth. The reason all men must die today is because, before he could grant immortality to the world, Maui was crushed between two colossal thighs.
8. ‘I Am Only Shit’
Some Inuit folktales were passed down to convey lessons, while others were simply crafted to make people laugh. As a result, they have left behind an extraordinary collection of stories with titles such as “Him-Whose-Penis-Stretches-Down-To-His-Knees” and “The Spirit of the Shit-Pile.” Yet, perhaps the most renowned tale of all is “I Am Only Shit.”
The story begins with: “A woman was menstruating,” and as a result, no one would provide her with food. However, her fortune changes when she spots a whale in the sea, and she decides to catch it.
The story continues, “She waved her hands and shouted, ‘I am only shit! I am only shit!’ And the whale began swimming toward her. Soon, it emerged from the water and came onto dry land, right next to her. ‘I am only shit,’ she said. And the whale perished.”
The exact meaning of this tale is unclear—whether it's a joke or an old magical trick being taught. However, the story concludes with a statement about the power of telling someone you're only shit: “Such holy words!”
7. How Kokopelli Won His Wife
Kokopelli is a Native American fertility god, which, if you’re familiar with fertility gods, suggests that this tale will get a little strange. He’s known for his extremely long, detachable penis, which he can use to impregnate women.
The most famous story about Kokopelli is the Hopi tale of how he won his wife. Kokopelli had fallen in love with a beautiful young woman. He confides in his grandmother, who, always blunt, laughs at him and tells him that he’s too hunchbacked and unattractive to win her love.
Despite her dismissal, Kokopelli remains determined to win her affection: by stalking her and observing her while she urinates. He follows her around in the bushes until he figures out where she relieves herself. Then he digs a long trench from there to his home, waits until she needs to go again, and sends his magical detachable genitals her way.
The girl becomes pregnant and gives birth to Kokopelli’s child, but she has no idea who the father is. The people decide to offer flowers to the baby, and they agree that whoever’s flower the baby chooses will be the true father. Of course, the baby picks Kokopelli’s flower, and instead of calling the authorities, the woman marries him right then and there.
6. The Creation of the World
The Cherokee creation myth is a bizarre mix of utter strangeness and surprisingly thorough fact-checking.
For the most part, it’s filled with incredible, magical events that are typical of any creation story. In the beginning, the myth tells us, everything was covered in water, and the animals lived in the sky. Then, the Water Beetle descended and created mounds of soft mud that eventually became the Earth.
The legend tells us that 'afterwards, this earth was fastened to the sky with four cords,' but in case they had gotten some of the facts wrong, the Cherokee clarify that 'no one remembers who did this.' While they are confident that beetles created the earth, buzzards shaped the valleys and mountains by flapping their wings, and the sky is made of stone, they are not quite certain who actually tied the earth to the sky.
After this, life filled the world somehow. The story skips over this part, stating only, 'We do not know who made the first plants and animals.' However, once they appeared, the first man and woman arrived on Earth, and humanity began.
The legend says, 'There was only one man and one woman. He hit her with a fish. In seven days, a little child came down to the earth.'
And thus, the world began.
5. The Wandering Vagina
We didn’t intentionally focus on stories involving wandering vaginas; they just appear so frequently in these myths that it’s hard to avoid them.
While the Hawaiians may have believed in a goddess with a flying vagina, the Mehinaku people of Brazil took it even further. One Mehinaku tale begins: 'In ancient times, all the women’s vaginas used to wander about.'
This tale is about Tukwi, whose vagina 'was especially foolish.' While she slept, it would crawl across the floor of the house in search of food. One day, it made such a clatter in a pot of porridge that it woke a man. He came out with a torch to investigate the noise. When he peered into the pot, he got too close with the torch, accidentally burning Tukwi’s vagina, which hurriedly returned home.
The next day, Tukwi gathered all the women in town and warned them: 'All you women, don’t let your genitals wander about. If you do, they may get burned just like mine!'
And according to the story, that’s why, today, women’s genitals no longer wander around.
4. The Moon Is Chasing The Sun
According to a tale from the Inuit of Greenland, the Sun and the Moon are siblings. They lived joyfully together as children, but after reaching puberty, their relationship took a dark turn—because the Moon assaulted the Sun.
The Sun fled from the Moon, seeking refuge in the sky. Yet the Moon relentlessly pursued her, a chase that continues to this day. His obsession with catching her is so intense that he forgets to eat, withering away and causing the changing phases of the Moon.
So, when you gaze up at the sky and see the Sun and the Moon's movements, you’re witnessing a victim fleeing from a tireless predator. And things take a darker turn during a solar eclipse, when the Moon catches up to his sister—and let’s just say, it’s an image that’s better left unseen by young eyes, especially through a pinhole viewer.
3. The Rain Is God’s Sperm
The Bamana people from West Africa believed the Earth was a goddess named Lennaya, while the sky was her husband. While this idea isn’t unusual, it led to some unique insights that set the Bamana apart from other cultures.
Given that the Earth was a goddess in their beliefs, they were careful not to harm her. Digging into the earth was seen as an affront to the goddess—essentially, stabbing her in the face. Every time they planted a seed, they would ask for her permission and apologize for causing any harm.
The Bamana also thought of rain as the Sky God's sperm, fertilizing his wife. Whenever it rained, it was viewed as the gods engaging in love-making, leaving a huge mess behind them.
However, this didn’t stop the Bamana from encouraging this process. They held masquerades, wearing elaborate headdresses, as part of their prayers for a good harvest. Since a bountiful harvest relied on the rain, they were essentially praying for the Sky God to fertilize the Earth in their own backyards.
2. The Legend Of Inuvayla’u
The Kwabulo people from Papua New Guinea have a tale about Inuvayla’u, whose ‘penis was like a long snake’—yes, this is another odd one.
While the village men went fishing, Inuvayla’u would poke his penis through a hole in his house and send it out to find women. He didn’t discriminate, using it on his brother’s wives, his nephew’s wives, and anyone he could come across.
Eventually, the men of the village grew suspicious and decided to watch Inuvayla’u. They observed as he sent out his genitals to assault his brother’s wife. Surprisingly, instead of stopping him, the men stood by, growing angrier with each passing assault until every woman in the village had been targeted.
After getting bored, the men tried to drown Inuvayla’u in a creek. Though he survived, Inuvayla’u returned home in despair and chopped off his genitals with an ax. This act became a significant moment in the story. "Large white coral boulders lie in the creek," the tale tells us. "They are the token: they show where Inuvayla’u cut off his testicles."
1. Jaguars Ate Everybody On Earth
According to the Aztecs, we’re not living in the first world. There were four worlds before ours, each destroyed by the world’s great forces: one by rain, one by water, one by fire, and one by jaguars.
The first world was destroyed by the god Tezcatlipoca. The people had failed to show him proper respect, so, in his anger, he had them all eaten by jaguars.
The second world met its end at the hands of Quetzalcoatl. Tezcatlipoca turned the humans into monkeys, and Quetzalcoatl, apparently not a fan of monkeys, wiped them all out with a massive hurricane.
The third world was destroyed by Tlaloc, but once again, Tezcatlipoca played a part. He stole Tlaloc’s wife, and while Tlaloc was understandably upset, the Earth’s people annoyed him further by begging for rain at a very inconvenient time in his life. So, Tlaloc retaliated by sending a rain of fire to teach them a lesson about pestering him with their ridiculous prayers.
The fourth world met its end when Tezcatlipoca offended the water goddess by accusing her of faking her kindness just to get people to say nice things about her. Her feelings hurt, she wept so much that her tears drowned the entire world.
Then came the fifth world. But the Aztecs believed that if we fail to offer enough human sacrifices, Tezcatlipoca will cause an earthquake to destroy us all.
