Buzz
As William Tecumseh Sherman wisely stated, 'War is Hell.' Indeed, it can be. However, beyond the brutal realities, war also reveals some strangely amusing and touching elements. It’s not all about explosions and action heroes like Rambo, nor is it all somber like Schindler's List. This isn’t to downplay the horrors of large-scale conflict, but rather to emphasize the more human and compassionate sides of it, showing that, in the end, each soldier is a person – for better or worse… and sometimes, riding a bike.
Below is a compilation of some of the most bizarre, eccentric, and surprising elements found in the world’s militaries. Enjoy the journey.
10. The Bolivian Navy
Bolivia boasts a navy that is both sizable and well-equipped. With a fleet of patrol ships, three hospital vessels, and thousands of skilled personnel, they’re set for naval operations. The only catch? Bolivia doesn’t actually have any coastline.
The origins of this situation trace back to the late 1800s, when Chile triumphed over a joint Bolivian-Peruvian alliance in the ‘War of the Pacific’. This victory allowed Chile to expand its territory north along the South American coast, effectively cutting off Bolivia’s access to the sea. Given that Bolivia is named after one of history's greatest military figures, it’s no surprise that the nation’s institutions exude unmatched resilience and determination – and don’t even think about questioning it.
Despite being landlocked, Bolivia has transformed its naval capabilities into a 'Lake and River' force. However, in 2010, Peru granted Bolivia limited access to the coast, providing a glimpse of hope.
9. ‘Ji-had’ Joe
In the early 2000s, the CIA collaborated with former Hasbro executive Donald Levine, renowned for creating another American icon – GI Joe.
They developed an Osama Bin Laden action figure with a heat-sensitive plastic ‘skin’ covering its face. As the plastic peeled away, a monstrous, demonic face resembling a mix between the demon from the first ‘Insidious’ movie and Darth Maul was revealed. The figure was designed to instill fear and revulsion in young people living under Al Qaeda’s influence, making them repulsed by Bin Laden and his terrorist group (as if their atrocities weren’t already enough).
It is believed that around 600 of these figures were sent to Pakistan and distributed, though only three have ever been verified to exist.
In 2014, a prototype, reportedly from the estate of the late Donald Levine, appeared at auction and was purchased by an anonymous bidder for $12,000.
8. The Oddest War Monument
The 'Portuguese Fireplace' is, quite simply, a fireplace.
It stands alone in a clearing in England's New Forest, which is an unusual sight considering it’s not inside a house. The fireplace serves to honor the Portuguese soldiers who, with the assistance of the Canadian Timber Corps, helped fill the labor shortage in the local timber industry caused by the conscription of the local workforce. The fireplace was once part of the cookhouse that served these soldiers.
This unusual monument serves as a reminder that war encompasses more than just combat, aerial dogfights, and submarines—hard work at home to fill gaps can be just as powerful a weapon as a Vickers machine gun or a slam-fired Winchester 1897.
7. CONOP 8888
Zombies were everywhere for a period. Not literally, but in pop culture. Every graphic novel, cartoon series, TV drama, and film seemed eager to hop aboard the slowly moving Z-train. Sometimes, fans take these fads too far, losing themselves in the belief that these fictions are real. In 2011, the U.S. Department of Defense became part of this phenomenon.
CONOP 8888 was a document created as a strategy for the U.S. military to combat the undead. But was it really that absurd? The plan was designed to make sure that, should it be leaked, the public would never take it seriously. What does this imply? Picture defense scenarios like a 'ground operation in Belgium,' 'securing air dominance in Crimea,' or 'invasion and regime change in Mexico.' Even if it was clearly just a training exercise, the media would have a field day. Hence, they crafted an entirely outlandish, fictional scenario.
The document delves into many aspects of dealing with zombie hordes, culminating in instructions on how to 'assist civil authorities in maintaining law and order and restoring basic services during and after a zombie attack.' And then it turned out to be vampires… what a letdown.
6. The Most Dangerous Biker Gangs Ever
What could strike more fear into your nation’s foes than encountering a squadron of well-equipped, highly trained... cyclists.
Numerous countries have historically maintained specialized units of bicycle-riding soldiers. Though these units have mostly disappeared over time, they once played an important role in many nations' military forces.
Despite what might seem like basic logic (why didn’t the opposing forces simply bring back jousting poles to knock them off?), many armies once relied on bicycle units. Inexpensive to operate and maintain, these units could access remote locations twice as fast as marching forces. Silent and composed of physically fit soldiers, bicycle units made excellent scouts and remained in service well into the 1940s.
Later, the Viet Cong used bicycles to transport supplies along the Ho Chi Minh Trail, and the Tamil Tigers relied heavily on bikes during the Sri Lankan Civil War.
The Swiss Army continued to maintain their bicycle corps until the early 2000s. This unit played a crucial role in defending Switzerland’s neutrality during WWII by patrolling the borders to prevent a Nazi invasion. Until the very end, they remained focused on combat training—new recruits were required to complete a tough 200 km ride through the mountainous terrain, all while carrying at least 25 kg of gear.
You might think an ‘army bicycle’ sounds absurd. But bear in mind, this is a ‘Swiss Army Bicycle’... which also comes equipped with a fighter jet, a tank, and, naturally, an awl.
5. The British Empire vs The Central Powers vs Mother Nature’s Minions
World War I wasn’t just about trench warfare in the fields of Belgium. It was truly a global conflict.
Some of the most savage fighting occurred in East Africa, in the territories now known as Tanzania and Kenya. The Battle of Tanga stands as one of the bloodiest, and it’s particularly remembered for the unusual enemy that appeared on the battlefield, attacking both German and British forces.
Swarms of enraged bees.
The two opposing sides clashed on palm oil and coconut plantations in the northern port city of Tanga, engaging in fierce skirmishes. The heavy artillery shells falling across the fields disturbed the local bee population, which had been quietly making honey in their hives. In retaliation, the bees swarmed and attacked countless soldiers, forcing many to flee the battlefield.
4. Forgotten Wars
Misplacing your car keys and forgetting that you’re at war with another nation are vastly different things. Yet, that hasn’t stopped many wars from fading from the collective memory of entire nations.
In 2006, Japan finally bowed to Montenegro's demands for recognition, ending their long-forgotten and brutal war. No? You don’t recall this one? Neither did Japan or Montenegro. During the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-05, Montenegro had symbolically supported Russia against Japan. However, when the war ended with a peace treaty, Montenegro wasn’t mentioned, meaning the small Balkan state technically remained at war with Japan. A century later, as Montenegro separated from Serbia during the Balkan crisis, Japan recognized its independence, thus officially ending the conflict.
An even stranger ongoing conflict exists between Russia and the small English town of Berwick-upon-Tweed. Located at the northernmost point of England on the border with Scotland, there has been a centuries-long dispute over whether Berwick-upon-Tweed belongs to England or Scotland. Consequently, treaties were often signed with the phrase ‘King/Queen of England, Scotland/Great Britain, Ireland, Berwick-upon-Tweed and all the British Dominions.’ Although the Treaty of Paris ended the Crimean War, Berwick-upon-Tweed was notably absent from the agreement. This left the town technically at war with Imperial Russia—an entity that no longer exists. Sort of. Well, not really.
In 1651, Dutch Admiral Maarten Tromp, seeking compensation for losses incurred by supporting the defeated Royalist faction in England’s Civil War, declared war on the Isles of Scilly, a small group of islands located between southern England and France. When the Parliamentarians under Oliver Cromwell gained control of the war, they quickly took over the islands, and the Dutch retreated. Yet, they never officially ended their declaration of war. It wasn’t until 1986, when a local historian discovered that a peace treaty had never been signed, that the 335-year conflict was resolved. The Isles of Scilly finally made peace with the Dutch, though no one really seemed to care.
3. Alternate History IRL
For years, films, video games, and books exploring the idea of ‘what if the Nazis won’ have been popular. Reading ‘The Man in the High Castle’ and imagining what life would be like under Nazi rule in New York… wait, not fun, I meant terrifying.
In 1942, the Canadian city of Winnipeg got a real-life taste of an alternate reality.
The eerily titled ‘If Day’ took place on February 19th, with a full-on spectacle that included phony stormtroopers harassing citizens at checkpoints, ‘destroyed’ bridges (decorated with rubble to make them impassable), a simulated aerial blitzkrieg, and even fake reichsmarks being handed out all over the city. The reason for this day was noted on the back of the banknotes:
“Bonds or bondage, the choice is yours!”
Yes, this was an initiative to sell victory bonds in support of the Allied war effort. And it proved successful—Winnipeg surpassed its expected bond sales target. In the end, the Allies, too, triumphed over the Nazi regime.
2. Sulu Warrior
Fiji has many incredible attributes—pristine beaches, superb rugby players, and a vibrant, multicultural history. But one quirky and rather amusing aspect is the sight of Palace Guards wearing traditional sulu skirts as part of their ceremonial uniforms.
The skirt made its way to Fiji from neighboring Tonga in the nineteenth century, adopted by the Fijians as a symbol of their conversion to Christianity (so, no accusations of ‘cultural insensitivity’—it’s a relatively recent Tongan import. *Author’s note* Feel free to poke fun at our Welsh national dress, as I do).
Now, it’s a part of the national attire, worn proudly by both the men and women who protect the royal palace. The only hitch is that once you start thinking, ‘Hmm, it kind of looks like Wilma Flintstone’s skirt,’ you just can’t shake that image from your mind.
1. Battlefield Blunders and a King’s Final Straw
England and Scotland, the ‘old enemies,’ and, well, ‘those wild men in skirts.’ These two nations have certainly clashed plenty over the years. One of the most shameful episodes (for the Scots—don’t worry, guys, just remember Bannockburn) was when James V of Scotland threw a tantrum and decided to invade England.
At the time, Henry VIII had just given himself free reign to do whatever he pleased, even creating his own church. When his nephew, the King of Scotland, rejected his ‘offer’ to follow suit, maintaining the Catholic Church’s authority in Scotland, Henry decided to send some troops to ‘teach those stubborn Scots a lesson.’ James wasn’t amused and sent his own forces to retaliate across the border.
A disastrous decision.
The sizable Scottish force, numbering around 15,000, found themselves trapped in a narrow space between the River Esk and a vast peat bog called ‘Solway Moss’. The much smaller English defensive contingent largely observed the Scots, harassing their edges, causing many of the panicking Scots to drown in either the bog or the river. The English captured over a thousand prisoners while the remaining Scots fled.
James, who was already grappling with a fever and dismayed by the birth of a daughter instead of a son, took the news of his defeat at Solway Moss particularly hard—he passed away shortly after.
