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If you've been awake at any point after the 1950s, you're likely familiar with The Guinness Book of World Records. It's the ultimate authority for world records across all categories. The process to submit a record is quite relaxed.
In technical terms, nearly anyone can apply for almost any record, provided it meets the established criteria. When submitting a new world record, it must meet these conditions: (a) measurable, (b) breakable, (c) standardizable, (d) verifiable, (e) single-variable, (f) universal, and (g) significantly distinct from other records.
Aside from these guidelines, nearly anything can be proposed as a world record, leaving plenty of room for quirky attempts. Your fleeting moment of fame could be just a submission away. Below are ten of the most trivial world records attempted by people.
10. Fastest Time to Climb a Greased Pole
Imagine this: You're out for a walk, and you come across a pole. It's your only way forward, but if you can't cross it, you're stuck. On top of that, the pole is greased. This happens all the time, right? So here's to the person who managed to cross the greased pole faster than anyone else.
In the spring of 2016, Antonio Papa set the record for crossing a greased pole in just 3.09 seconds. This Italian native outpaced the previous record holder, Joe DaSilva from the USA, who had set the mark in 2012 on the show, Guinness World Records Gone Wild! But now, it seems there's a new Papa in town.
9. Most Tattooed Man
If you thought the most tattooed person you saw last week at Hot Topic was impressive, think again. We're talking about the world’s most tattooed man. Getting inked is no small feat, especially considering a tattoo machine can pierce your skin up to 3000 times a minute.
But Lucky Diamond has tattoos covering his entire body. Yes, even his eyelids, earlobes, and more. As a tattoo artist, you could say he truly wears his art. He's also a sword swallower and a juggling performer, but nothing beats the spectacle of seeing a person whose entire body is covered in tattoos. How did he achieve this? Like anyone else, one tattoo at a time.
8. Largest Smurf Collection
Collecting is all about finding something unique and expressing your personality, right? Well, Gerda Scheurs has amassed a Smurf collection worth over $100,000 in her home. Just imagine how much Gargamel (the infamous Smurf villain) would do for that pile of cash. And with all those blue faces surrounding her, Scheurs will never be alone. There's even a Smurf collection community online, if you're interested. Sounds like one very Smurfy hobby to me.
7. Most 'Flesh Tunnels' in the Face
If the term 'flesh tunnels' makes you uneasy, you might want to skip this video. But if you're curious, the record-holder for the most flesh tunnels in the face is James Goss from the UK. Flesh tunnels are body piercings in a tubular shape, also known as expanders, eyelets, or gauges. Goss surpassed the previous record-holder, Joel Miggler from Germany, last year. He found Miggler’s work fascinating and decided to take it a step further. You could say he really stretched himself.
6. Most Almonds Eaten in One Minute
It might seem a bit pointless to attempt eating more almonds than anyone else in just 60 seconds, and I guess it kind of is. But Leah Shutkever thought it was a challenge worth taking on. It's hard to know how many have tried, but perhaps this story will motivate you to take a shot at it. Maybe it’d be more difficult with spicy almonds, but to break this record, all you need to do is eat more than 40 almonds in a minute—set in October 2021. But watch out—Shutkever is a pro. A professional speed eater, she holds several world records related to this odd talent, though the almonds do have a point…
5. Furthest Distance Walked Across LEGOs
On November 20th, Kevin Strahle, aka 'L.A. Beast,' set the record for the longest distance walked over LEGO pieces. His distance? 3,886.2 meters (12,750 feet). If you skip to the end of the video, you'll see the damage it did to his feet. When will this ability come in handy? Not sure, but if he ever has kids, he'll be prepared for the pain of stepping on Legos in their messy rooms.
4. Longest Continuous Vocal Note
It’s not over until the fat lady sings. But when does she stop? Since musical theater’s origins, Sopranos have been battling to hold the longest continuous note. (And no, we’re not talking about the Italian mafia TV series, though these singers can be just as intense).
How long can you hold a note? Try a minute and fifty-two seconds. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the current record holder is Richard Fink IV. Just like Celine Dion’s heart, this note will go on… and on…
3. Fastest Time to Eat a Burrito
A typical lunch break never seems long enough, right? You’ve barely finished your PB&J when it’s already time to get back to work. But for Leah Shutkever, it only takes 35.26 seconds to finish her lunch. That’s right—she’s made the list again.
In addition to setting the almond-eating record, Leah also manages to devour an entire burrito in just 35.26 seconds. Her goal when attempting this was to beat 40 seconds, and she succeeded in 2019. No one has beaten her time yet. I’m guessing the bathroom break lasted longer than the burrito eating itself.
2. Most Objects in a Beard
The COVID-19 pandemic inspired many men to see just how far they could grow their facial hair before it drove their significant others crazy. For some, it was a test of masculinity, but for others, a simple bushy beard just wasn’t enough.
Why not take beard-growing to the next level and break a world record with that beard?
Joel Strasser decided to do just that, though it wasn’t solely because of the pandemic. His record-breaking beard is here to stay. He holds multiple records for how many different objects he can fit into his beard. Here are some of the notable records he holds:
- Toothpicks: 3,500
- Chopsticks: 520
- Golf tees: 607 (You don’t actually need to be a golf pro to break this record)
- Straws: 312
- Baubles (Christmas ornaments): 302
If you're looking to get a little extra festive this year, here's one to try. I wonder how many ornaments Santa stuffs into his beard each year to entertain the elves. Strasser says these feats are all about architectural strategy and technique. He carefully stacks the items in his beard so they stay put—otherwise, they’d just fall right out.
Additionally, Strasser recommends holding onto the straws if you’re trying this record. Apparently, he’s concerned about not harming any sea turtles. It’s both a commendable concern and an impressive bearded accomplishment.
1. Most Times Folding That Paper
The age-old question: do you fold or do you wad? While this video focuses on folding toilet paper, record-holders exist for all kinds of paper folding. One young woman from California, Britney Gallivan, broke the record for folding printer paper. Her high school teacher claimed it was impossible to fold paper more than a few times. Gallivan proved him wrong by making it to twelve folds before folding (pun intended).
The lesson here is simple—don’t always take your teacher’s word for it. You might just defy the odds and earn yourself a completely pointless world record.
