
In an era with countless methods for exchanging information, engaging in a direct conversation—whether with a coworker, family member, or someone you meet in a social setting—can be the most influential. Conversations aren’t just about what’s said; they shape how we manage various relationships, and it requires conversational intelligence to navigate them effectively. Here’s what you need to understand.
What does conversational intelligence mean?
Conversational intelligence is grounded in the belief that conversations, beyond being simple exchanges of information, can influence everything from relationships to personal confidence and even our perspective on life, in both positive and negative ways.
As noted by Judith E. Glaser, the renowned organizational anthropologist who introduced the concept, conversations play a critical role in shaping the quality of relationships, which in turn influences the culture within a company or any other organization.
How to cultivate conversational intelligence
Although Glaser believed conversational intelligence is an inherent trait in humans, it doesn’t imply that everyone is equally adept at utilizing this skill. Here are several strategies to enhance your conversational intelligence:
Treat conversations as rituals
We often fall into familiar patterns when engaging in conversation, as Glaser pointed out. However, if your typical exchanges aren't yielding the results you want, she recommended approaching them as rituals—something that can be learned by everyone.
Be mindful of the words you choose
Words and expressions in conversation seldom remain neutral. They can carry emotional weight for certain individuals. Glaser emphasized the importance of carefully selecting your language in a way that fosters trust and respect, as words can sometimes lead to unintended consequences if not chosen thoughtfully.
Take a moment to reflect on your conversation
Once a conversation concludes, resist the urge to immediately shift your focus. Instead, pause and reflect on what transpired—the words spoken, the speaker's tone and body movements, as well as the silent intervals. Consider the potential effects these aspects might have had on the interaction.
