Buzz
While discussing finances can be a challenging subject, let's explore it metaphorically. To ensure a thriving relationship, think of it as a bank account that requires frequent deposits of positivity to stay healthy.
As pointed out by the Art of Manliness, although the metaphor may seem uncomfortable or transactional, comparing relationships to a bank account works because both require regular contributions to flourish. If you’ve ever lived paycheck to paycheck, you understand the relief of a payday, and how stressful it is when your account is empty. Relationships follow a similar pattern—they need positive input to yield positive returns.
According to Gottman’s research-driven approach, these challenges are not necessarily problematic. In fact, he would argue that friction is a natural element of life and relationships, and that some degree of negativity within a marriage can actually be healthy.
As long as there is a balance with positive aspects.
Gottman has established a specific ratio for the balance needed in a marriage to ensure its stability and happiness: 5:1.
In other words, a couple that maintains at least five positive interactions for every negative one is likely to succeed in the long run.
Fortunately, you don’t need to negotiate with a boss or go through college to foster positive interactions. Just take some time to do something thoughtful for your partner to show them that you care. Don’t wait until you feel in a romantic mood to invest in your relationship. Just as you wouldn’t want your employer to delay paying you until they feel like it, both you and your partner need regular reminders of love and appreciation.
Photo by JD Hancock.
