Buzz
You've received a Thanksgiving invitation. Great! No need to plan, prep, shop, chop, and cook for hours. While the host will handle the bulk of the work to create a festive meal, each guest has a role in ensuring the celebration goes smoothly. You don't have to tend the turkey every half hour, but you should contribute with thoughtfulness.
It's obvious you should avoid discussing politics, religion, or your views on the COVID vaccine. To keep things peaceful and enjoyable, here are a few less obvious behaviors to steer clear of when visiting someone's home on Thanksgiving (and what you can do instead).
Don’t: Catch the host off guard with last-minute dietary requests
The moment to inform your host about your specific dietary needs—such as being a low-carb, lactose-intolerant pescatarian who only consumes fair-trade, non-GMO grains on alternate Tuesdays—is when you first receive the invitation. Don’t wait until days before or, worse, after you’ve arrived to reveal any allergies or special requirements. Unless your host is your absolute best friend, don’t assume they’ll remember an allergy you’ve mentioned in the past.
Do: Let the host know about any dietary restrictions as soon as you accept the invitation and offer to bring your own alternatives if needed.
Don’t: Arrive with nothing or surprise the host with an unexpected dish
Hosts tend to appreciate receiving certain gifts (like flowers, wine, candles, or high-quality chocolate for their enjoyment after the event), but there are others they could do without (such as an unplanned casserole of your mom’s ‘famous’ potatoes au gratin that you ‘can’t imagine Thanksgiving without’). While guests should always bring something for the host—ideally something personal or tailored to their preferences—they shouldn’t show up with unauthorized dishes expecting them to join the feast the host has been meticulously planning for weeks.
Do: Check in advance if there’s anything you can bring. If not, offer a thoughtful, personalized gift or a reliable, classic contribution.
Don’t: Expect space on the counter (or in the oven)
If you're bringing a side dish, ensure it’s completely prepared and can stand on its own. Avoid bringing mashed potatoes that need finishing or rolls that must be warmed in the oven. Your host likely won’t have the extra counter or oven space for these final steps of your dish. Complete the cooking beforehand and find ways to keep it warm—consider insulated bags, coolers, portable warmers, or other clever options. If oven space is necessary, be sure to check with your host in advance.
Do: If your side dish needs reheating, bring it in an ovenproof container. Also, remember to bring your own serving utensils as they might not have extras available.
Don’t arrive too early (or come starving)
If you’ve ever hosted an event, you know that even the best-laid plans can go awry, leaving you scrambling to get everything ready before guests arrive. There’s nothing worse for a stressed-out host than guests arriving early. Do: Help your host out by arriving right on time—or even better, 15 minutes late. Also, grab a snack before you head over so you’re not starving, drinking on an empty stomach, or heard complaining, 'When are we eating? I’m starving!' from the other room.
Don’t: Offer unsolicited advice or criticism
Imagine this: You’re carefully placing potatoes into boiling water, using a technique you’ve perfected over the years, when someone says, 'Yikes, don’t burn yourself! You’re making me nervous. Want me to do it?' Uh, no, Briana, I don’t want you to do it because my method is flawless. Be aware that any suggestions or tips you offer might be taken as criticism by the person in charge of the cooking. You might know the best way to make lump-free gravy, but unless you’re asked, keep it to yourself.
Do: Offer to help if needed. If they don’t need assistance, step away from the kitchen and find another room to avoid distracting the host.
Don’t: Serve yourself too much
Please, for the love of good manners, don’t get drunk. This isn’t a college party; it’s someone’s home, where children might be present. No one wants to see an adult become loud, overly touchy, or out of control. If you struggle with moderation, ask a friend or family member to help you pace yourself or step in to prevent things from getting uncomfortable.
Do: Drink responsibly; eat consistently to balance out the Cabernet.
Don’t: Stick around too long
Your host has likely spent the entire day on their feet preparing the feast. Be mindful of any subtle hints they drop that suggest they’re ready to relax and unwind with Netflix. When the time comes, be courteous and leave promptly. But not before offering to help with the cleanup, of course.
