Buzz
Every time I cross a bridge, I can’t help but think, What if I threw my phone into the water? Thankfully, I’ve never acted on this intrusive thought. Being constantly online, I’ve noticed many others share similar humorous yet involuntary thoughts. While the term is often used casually to describe quirky or bizarre ideas, intrusive thoughts can also be a symptom of serious mental health conditions. So, how can you handle intrusive thoughts that are distressing or disturbing?
I had a conversation with Dr. Sally Winston, a licensed psychologist, founder of the Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute of Maryland, and co-author of Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts. She pointed out the distinction between fleeting intrusive thoughts, which are common and often amusing, and persistent, distressing intrusive thoughts, which can be deeply unsettling. Here’s what you need to know about these troubling thoughts and how to cope with them.
Intrusive thoughts can affect anyone
Winston explains that these thoughts—suddenly appearing in your mind without warning—can be strange, inappropriate, taboo, irrational, or even unexpectedly imaginative.
According to Winston, the majority of intrusive thoughts are insignificant and fade away quickly. They are a natural part of human cognition.
However, when an intrusive thought becomes persistent and repetitive, this otherwise normal experience turns into a significant problem. Winston notes, “These thoughts are disturbing, shameful, or completely unlike your usual self, and they come with an intense emotional surge.” Such thoughts are immediately distressing and often trigger a strong desire to resist them.
Winston clarifies, “These thoughts persist when you try to fight them, overanalyze their meaning, or believe they must be resolved. The very act of trying to suppress, interpret, or eliminate them is what keeps them recurring.”
It’s important to understand that intrusive thoughts are not impulses, even though the emotional intensity Winston describes might make them feel that way. While these thoughts can feel overwhelming, they do not translate into actions.
Your intrusive thoughts do not define who you are
It can be deeply disturbing to suddenly think of doing something you would never consider consciously. A single intrusive thought can trigger a cascade of worries, making you question if these thoughts reveal your true nature or hidden desires. Winston illustrates this with the example of a new mother plagued by the thought, What if I drop the baby? This thought evolves into Does this mean I want to drop the baby? followed by Why can’t I stop this thought? and eventually There must be something wrong with me.
Winston emphasizes that this is not true. Intrusive thoughts become persistent because they clash with your values, self-image, and what you hold dear. They are distressing precisely because they are not a reflection of your true self.
Strategies for managing and overcoming intrusive thoughts
Winston explains that addressing intrusive thoughts begins with understanding their nature. To summarize: Intrusive thoughts are not insights into your subconscious or hidden desires. They are also not impulses that will compel you to act against your will.
Once you grasp the nature of these thoughts, the next step is to alter your relationship with them. As previously mentioned, trying to eliminate these thoughts is what keeps them persistent. Winston advises that overcoming them involves learning to detach, allowing the thoughts to lose momentum and naturally fade away.
Allow the thought to enter, then let it go
While it may seem contradictory, Winston emphasizes the importance of permitting these thoughts to occur. Start by identifying and labeling them accurately. She suggests prefacing the intrusive thought with the phrase “I am having the thought that…” This technique helps shift focus to the process rather than the content of the thought.
Each individual will find their own way to acknowledge intrusive thoughts without attempting to resist or “solve” them. The key is to distinguish between a thought and an urge, understanding that the impulse to suppress the thought only strengthens its persistence.
Healing is achievable
Addressing your relationship with intrusive thoughts is the initial step toward managing them. If these thoughts cause significant distress or feel overwhelming, Winston recommends consulting a therapist specializing in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Such professionals focus on helping you detach from these thoughts rather than delving into their origins.
It’s important to remember that everyone experiences fleeting intrusive thoughts. We all encounter unsettling images, irrational doubts, or strange “what if” scenarios. The crucial step is to identify these thoughts for what they truly are—and, more importantly, what they are not.
