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While lying is often seen as a negative trait, not all lies are alike. The spectrum of dishonesty ranges from harmless fibs to significant deceptions that can cause substantial harm.
When someone lies frequently, the terms 'pathological' and 'compulsive' are often used interchangeably, but they refer to distinct behaviors. In an interview with Well+Good, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, explains the nuances between these two types of lying. Here’s a closer look.
Distinguishing pathological lying from compulsive lying
Both pathological and compulsive lying stem from habitual behavior, making it challenging to discern whether a person’s statements are entirely truthful or contain elements of deception (or omission). Furthermore, Durvasula explains that these forms of lying often serve as defense or coping mechanisms developed in early childhood as a reaction to trauma.
However, beyond these similarities, there are distinct differences between pathological and compulsive lying. Here’s how Durvasula distinguishes them:
Pathological lying
This type of lying is manipulative, aimed at evading responsibility, avoiding consequences, preserving one’s image, or gaining an advantage in a situation.
It often involves complex networks of lies designed to secure personal benefits, typically at the expense of others, as Durvasula notes.
Individuals who engage in pathological lying may show little empathy or awareness of how their actions affect others.
According to Durvasula, it often aligns with narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder, though this isn’t universally true.
Compulsive lying
It happens out of habit, often without any clear or logical reason.
It usually carries little to no significant consequences.
It feels natural and routine to the person.
“A compulsive liar often lies in trivial or inconsequential situations, such as claiming they visited a vacation spot they never went to or fabricating what they watched on TV the previous night,” Durvasula explains.
Why it matters
Durvasula emphasizes that the frequency of lying isn’t the only factor to consider; the nature of the lie and the liar’s intent are equally important. “When small lies become habitual and are mixed with more serious, deliberate falsehoods, the situation shifts toward deceit and erodes trust,” she notes.
If your trust in someone begins to diminish, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship with them—whether they’re a coworker, romantic partner, family member, friend, or other connection. “For critical information that requires accuracy, always seek verification from another source,” Durvasula advises.
Lastly, Durvasula warns against confronting someone caught in a lie, particularly if they exhibit pathological lying tendencies. Doing so often leads to defensiveness or outright denial, and she suggests it’s more productive to focus your efforts on gathering accurate information elsewhere.
