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Pessimism often gets criticized, but it actually serves several vital purposes. It helps us manage anger, approach new relationships with realistic expectations, and prepares us to achieve our goals. Steven Kotler, a performance expert and author of *The Art of Impossible*, as well as the founder of the Flow Research Collective, points out that pessimism tends to increase as we grow older.
During a recent conversation on the Mindbodygreen podcast, Kotler discusses why this shift isn’t necessarily negative. He explains that as we age, our mindset gradually transitions from being goal-oriented to fear-driven.
“Our perceptions and experiences are largely influenced by two factors: our fears or our goals,” Kotler mentions in the podcast. He also delves into why this shift occurs and how we can manage the pessimism that comes with aging.
What causes increased pessimism as we age?
Kotler explains that the shift from a goal-oriented mindset to a fear-driven one is natural. As we grow older, the consequences of our decisions become more significant, whether due to family obligations, career considerations, or partnerships. Consequently, prioritizing safety and security often outweighs the pursuit of new goals.
Research supports this, showing that older individuals tend to be more cautious than younger ones. Kotler emphasizes that this isn’t inherently negative, as the responsibilities and concerns in life accumulate over time. However, heightened pessimism can also lead to a fear of failure, causing some to abandon setting life goals altogether.
Managing pessimism as we grow older
While considering risks when making decisions is logical, Kotler warns against letting this mindset prevent us from setting goals entirely. This often occurs after achieving societal milestones such as marriage, homeownership, or starting a family. As Kotler describes it, this shift can hinder personal growth and ambition.
Once we reach certain early milestones, we often stop setting new goals. This leads the system to prioritize safety and survival, thinking, ‘If you have no more goals, my job is to keep you safe.’”
Thankfully, there’s a solution: continue setting long-term goals. While daily goals are beneficial, Kotler suggests creating concrete and detailed plans to achieve realistic long-term objectives. This approach helps balance the need for security with the drive to pursue ambitions.
