What causes people to behave cruelly online?

Competing at the Olympic level is an impressive feat. However, when British diver Tom Daley failed to earn a medal at the 2012 Olympics, he became the target of nasty online comments. A teenager tweeted, "You let your father down, you know that."

Daley had recently lost his father to brain cancer.

Daley responded by retweeting the message, saying, "After giving it my all ... you get idiots sending me this." After responding to the hateful tweets with profanity, the teenager who sent them was arrested for harassment, but was later released with a warning [source: Warstorne].

The underlying cause may be deeply rooted in the human mind. Most of our communication is non-verbal, including body language, eye contact, tone of voice, and language patterns. Without these cues to help us interpret and organize information, our minds must navigate uncertainty. And, influenced by an ancient fight-or-flight instinct, uncertainty about someone's intentions can often trigger a negative reaction to what is perceived as a threat [source: Gardner].

By consistently showcasing only our "best selves" online and receiving emotional validation through likes on platforms like Facebook, psychologists suggest that our self-esteem can inflate disproportionately, which may harm our self-control. The outcome? You may feel justified in being rude online. Experts also argue that sometimes people forget they’re speaking to others when posting sarcastic remarks -- using a smartphone feels like talking to yourself [source: Bernstein].

This lack of inhibition could also stem from the physical distance between individuals to whom we direct our comments. Research shows that the closer we are to someone physically, the less likely we are to behave harshly. For instance, a recent study found that game show contestants were less inclined to eliminate someone standing next to them compared to one farther away [source: Dallas].

But here's an unexpected twist: Making harsh comments online -- even if your true identity remains unknown -- may actually be harmful to your health.

The Surprising Consequences of Being Mean on the Internet

However, unkind behavior in the digital world can carry over into real life, resulting in heightened aggression when communicating with coworkers, family, and friends, which will later require repair. Although being mean online may offer a brief boost in self-esteem, it's only a temporary high. For enduring fulfillment, forming meaningful connections within a community is essential.

Moreover, maintaining a negative perspective on life might actually shorten your lifespan. A telling example? One study found that happy nuns lived nine years longer than their more negative counterparts [source: Chopra].

Our brains, however, are inherently geared towards negativity, both in expressing it and in recalling it. In prehistoric times, avoiding a dangerous tiger was more crucial than befriending a docile dog. If you tend to be a negative presence online, changing this behavior could be as simple as retraining your brain. If you consciously encourage positive thoughts in real life, you are more likely to be kind online as well. By recognizing and appreciating the good things you achieve each day, like completing a work task, finishing household chores, or keeping your workout routine, you're essentially rewiring your brain. The more you nurture positivity, the more active the left side of your prefrontal cortex will become, which over time helps overpower any negative emotions that might arise [source: Rope].

What To Do If You're a Target

To reduce trolling, many online platforms have started requiring users to register and provide a valid email address before commenting. Trolls are individuals who post deliberately provocative or offensive remarks to provoke reactions. Whether this approach is effective remains a point of debate [source: Ferenstein].

On a more personal level, what can you do to calm down the online conflict? One of the most efficient methods is to give yourself a break. Take a few minutes (or even hours) to cool down before responding. When you do reply, stay objective. If the situation is on your personal blog or social media, politely ask the individual to stop. If they don't, block them from your platform and/or report them to the administrator of the forum or chat room, or even your internet provider [source: Gardner].

If the threats appear to be escalating and could affect real life, it’s important to file a police report. In 2012, every U.S. state except Montana had laws against bullying behavior, but only 16 of these states included specific anti-cyberbullying measures. An additional five states were working on laws to address cyberbullying behavior [source: Hinduja].

Of course, taking legal action is most effective if you haven't added fuel to the fire. Avoid responding to negative comments with negativity. It's important to protect your online image, so refrain from stooping to the same level and replying with an insult. If you struggle to resist the urge to respond, you can always disable comments or activate a comment-approval system [source: Robertson].

Naturally, if someone is just being rude in response to your comment on some random website, you can always choose to ignore it. Is it really worth spending mental energy on? As with all interactions with difficult people, it's helpful to remember the source. Those who lash out typically have their own issues and are just trying to assert control or discomfort, all in an effort to feel better themselves.