Buzz
The term 'narcissist' is often used casually to describe someone who is excessively self-absorbed, but narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a legitimate condition that can have serious consequences. Although we tend to label narcissists as antagonists, it's essential to recognize that those with NPD are grappling with a mental health issue that can cause them significant distress. For example, individuals with NPD might undergo what’s referred to as a 'narcissistic collapse.'
What is narcissistic collapse?
As Dr. Elinor Greenberg pointed out in a Psychology Today article earlier this year, a common misconception about narcissists is that they possess unshakable self-esteem and are immune to self-doubt. In reality, someone with NPD struggles with volatile self-worth, which is why they rely so heavily on external validation from others.
When faced with the prospect of public failure, individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) may undergo what is referred to as a narcissistic collapse, stemming from their anxiety. The exposure of their flaws, something every person experiences, is especially painful for someone with NPD and can plunge them into a depression rooted in shame. Their constant fear of being exposed in the future hinders their ability to function effectively in the present.
A person with NPD often hides behind a mask of grandiosity as a protective mechanism. Dr. Maggie Vaughan, a psychotherapist at Happy Apple in New York City, explained that when this defense mechanism fails, the individual is forced to confront the overwhelming shame and sense of worthlessness that underpin their condition. This collapse is often triggered by events such as losing a job or facing social rejection, though a single event is rarely enough to break through the narcissist's defenses. It typically requires a series of setbacks.
What signs indicate a narcissistic collapse?
Experts from PsychCentral state that a person experiencing narcissistic collapse may display several different symptoms:
Anger and revenge-driven actions
Social withdrawal
Symptoms of depression
Vaughan clarified that a narcissistic collapse not only disrupts an individual's identity but also affects their sense of purpose. Without the admiration they expect from others, they often feel “empty and directionless.” As Vaughan noted, it is common for those with NPD to experience deep depression, loneliness, and even suicidal thoughts during such a collapse.
While these symptoms can be severe and even dangerous, they tend to be temporary. If you have NPD, suspect someone close to you might, or are concerned about someone, it’s crucial to keep an eye out for the signs mentioned earlier to foresee a potential narcissistic collapse. Greenberg also highlighted the risk of suicidal thoughts in her article, pointing out that for those going through a narcissistic collapse, death might seem like a preferable option compared to the fear of being publicly ‘exposed.’
Along with the fear of being revealed as a flawed person, individuals with NPD may also experience narcissistic rage when they fail to receive the external validation they feel they deserve. This lack of validation is stressful, which can escalate into narcissistic rage and potentially lead to a collapse.
While help is available, it may be difficult for someone with NPD to seek it because, as Vaughan pointed out, people with this disorder often resist therapy and the honest confrontation of their shortcomings. She emphasized, ‘The most important factor is that they develop a trusting relationship with a therapist who can normalize the narcissist's fears and needs.’ Vaughan noted that the therapeutic relationship itself is often the most healing part, as it provides the space for the individual to feel accepted—even with their flaws. This can lead to improvements in their relationships with others as well.
