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Dear Mytour, I’m on a tight budget this year but still want to give presents. I have some items at home that I’d like to offer as gifts—some are barely used, while others are more worn out—and I’ve even considered buying second-hand things from Amazon to gift. Is this acceptable? Signed, Pre-Owned Presents
Dear Pre-Owned, Gifting a used item can be a fantastic option—not only does it help you save money, but it’s eco-friendly too. Still, the etiquette surrounding giving used gifts is somewhat similar to the idea of regifting (offering items that are unused and unwanted): While some people strongly oppose it and have no interest in hand-me-downs, others may not mind at all and might even prefer it. Here are a few points to consider before giving away your items.
Consider the recipient first
Gift-giving is all about the other person, so whether it’s okay to give a used gift really depends on the recipient, as etiquette expert Judith Martin (“Miss Manners”) points out. For the right person, even pre-loved shoes might be welcomed.
Do you know if your gift recipient has any thoughts on receiving secondhand gifts? If they often visit thrift stores, enjoy yard sales, are passionate about reusing and repurposing items, or have an appreciation for vintage finds, these are clear signs that a carefully chosen, practical pre-owned gift will be appreciated. Photo by JD Thomas
The important words here are thoughtful and useful. Just like with any other gift (whether it's used, regifted, DIY, or brand new), considering the recipient's preferences and needs is what really matters. (It’s definitely not in the spirit of giving if you're just trying to clear out your cluttered basement.)
Some gifts are better suited to being given used than others
Certain used items actually hold more value because of their age, such as antique furniture, vintage clothing, or specific musical instruments, as The New York Times notes. Photo by Monrovia Public Library
Excellent secondhand gifts also include items that are no longer available or are considered rare: classic toys, collectibles, and first edition books, for example.
Well-crafted, timeless items (or those made with exceptional skill in the past) make for ideal gift choices. Hand-carved creations, cookware sets, and leather jackets all fall under this category.
In the not-so-great category, we find the following:
Things that involve ongoing maintenance or extra expenses. For instance, don't gift your old smartphone to someone with a 'dumb phone' unless you're sure they're open to the cost of a data plan. Similarly, gifts like a fish tank, a ficus tree, or other living items should be chosen carefully, considering the amount of care they require.
Certain baby or kids’ products. Car seats, for example, may be subject to recalls, so be sure to check if they are still safe before giving them away.
Items that are overly worn, need repairs, or are damaged in some way. Even if the recipient would enjoy the gift, if it's missing parts, torn, or stained, it's not the best option. (Although, in some cases, you may be able to repair it before giving it as a gift.)
Be honest about gifting secondhand items
If you purchase a used book on Amazon that’s in nearly new condition, you don’t have to mention the discount you got. However, in other instances, it’s a good idea to tell the recipient it’s pre-owned or used—particularly if it looks obviously used or if the person is aware you’ve owned it. For example, you could say, 'I’ve read this Mytour book so many times, it’s practically memorized. I thought you’d really enjoy it too.'
Regardless of whether you opt for a used gift or not, the most important thing is to make your present a thoughtful recognition of the other person, and that will surely be appreciated.
With love, Mytour
If you have a question or suggestion for Ask Mytour, send it to [email protected].
Etiquette is inherently subjective. What was considered acceptable 20 years ago might not be today, and what seems unusual now could be the norm in a decade. Some might even find it overly meticulous, because when you break it down, it's just a set of arbitrary rules we follow to make life easier. So, share your thoughts on this topic. It's one of the few areas where nearly everyone's opinion holds equal weight. Have a question or curiosity? Email [email protected]
