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The Great British Bake Off has cemented its place in British culture, becoming a defining element of the nation's global image. With its soothing pastel tones, light-hearted humor, and mouthwatering treats, the Bake Off offers a serene escape from the chaos of modern life. For one hour each week, viewers can immerse themselves in the tent, where the only concern is avoiding a soggy bottom.
Although the show often explores rare and forgotten recipes, there are certain traditional bakes that are too unconventional to make the cut. Here are ten cakes deemed too eccentric for television.
10. Witch Cakes
For hundreds of years, witches were among the most dreaded beings one could encounter. From a missing cow to a ruined harvest or even bread that wouldn’t rise, any misfortune could be attributed to a witch’s dark magic. To protect their homes from such curses, people would hang various charms behind their doors. These could be natural objects, like hagstones (stones with holes), or handmade talismans crafted by the household.
One method to ward off witches and their malevolent influence was by baking a unique Witch Cake. In Yorkshire, between April 1st and 6th, locals would prepare a small, spiky cake featuring a central hole. Whether the protective power came from the hole, reminiscent of a hagstone, or the spikes remains unclear. A specimen of such a Witch Cake is displayed at the Pitt Rivers Museum in Oxford. The collector noted:
“Witch cakes can be found in nearly every cottage. They are circular, with a hole in the center and spikes protruding all around. Hanging one in your home and replacing it annually by burning the old one is said to bring good fortune.” And, of course, keep witches at bay.
9. Urine Witch Cakes
In cases where a witch cake is too late to prevent enchantment, another remedy exists – though it involves urine. In a 1683 Yorkshire incident, where witches seemed unusually prevalent, a doctor treating a cursed patient recommended a cake made from the patient’s hair, urine, wheat, and horse-shoe fragments. Fortunately, the patient didn’t have to consume it; instead, the cake was thrown into a fire.
While urine-infused witch cakes were common in Britain, their most infamous use occurred during the Salem Witch Trials. When young girls were believed to be bewitched, townspeople resorted to these cakes to identify the witch. Their method involved baking a cake with the afflicted person’s urine and feeding it to a dog. It was believed the dog would then reveal the spellcaster’s identity.
Sadly, Tituba, a slave in the household who prepared the cake, was later accused of witchcraft. Her familiarity with the rituals involved in creating a witch cake was cited as evidence against her.
8. Whirlin’ Cakes
Cakes aren’t always tools for repelling evil – sometimes they draw it in. In Ely, the fifth Sunday after Lent was dedicated to baking Whirlin’ Cakes. While the exact recipe has been forgotten, one story explains how they earned their name.
An elderly woman in the area once hosted a gathering, putting her heart into baking the most delightful cakes. One guest, a stranger, became so enamored with the cakes that he couldn’t stop eating them. Unbeknownst to the woman, her mysterious guest was the Devil in disguise. He transformed into a whirlwind and swept all the cakes away, thus giving the cakes their name.
Snatching cakes as a whirlwind is a feat far more remarkable than earning a Hollywood Handshake.
7. Parkin
Parkin is a well-loved traditional British cake, known for its rich ginger flavor and sweetness, particularly popular in Northern England. However, it’s said to be even more beloved by dragons.
At Filey Brigg, a nearly mile-long stone formation extends into the sea. Legends about its origin often involve a dragon and its obsession with this sticky treat. In one tale, locals grew tired of a nearby dragon’s constant hunger. They lured it with massive quantities of Parkin. As the dragon devoured the cake, its jaws became glued together. Unable to open its mouth, the villagers attacked and killed the dragon, and its body turned to stone, forming Filey Brigg. Perhaps it’s wise not to serve Parkin to those with dentures.
Another version of the story credits a single woman for the dragon’s demise. The wife of Richard Parkin, she created the cake that the dragon adored. After feeding the dragon enormous amounts of Parkin, it grew so drowsy that it fell into the sea and drowned.
6. Groaning Cake
“Two young men I knew, about thirty years ago, were strolling in West Cornwall when they crossed a bridge and encountered a procession taking a baby to the parish church for baptism. Unfamiliar with this peculiar tradition, they were astonished when a piece of cake was handed to them.” Little did they realize they were eating a Groaning Cake.
When a woman went into labor, it was customary for the women of the family to come together and bake a cake for her. Some believed the aroma of the baking cake aided the mother during childbirth, though in Cambridgeshire, they often added generous amounts of gin, which might have been even more helpful.
After the birth, slices of the Groaning Cake were distributed to strangers, as described above, as well as to all unmarried women present at the birth. These women could take the cake, toss it over their right shoulder, and walk backward to bed. If they fell asleep before midnight, they would dream of their future spouse.
5. Dumb Cake
You didn’t need to wait for a birth to dream of your future love. The tradition of the Dumb Cake could be practiced on several nights of the year, with one of the most popular being St. Agnes’ Eve, January 20th. As St. Agnes is the patron saint of virgins, her connection to finding a lover is somewhat puzzling.
To prepare a Dumb Cake, groups of young women would gather and bake in absolute silence, which is how the cake got its name. The recipe, however, isn’t particularly appealing. One account of the ritual describes how “Each woman must help mix the ingredients (flour, eggs, eggshells, soot, etc.), knead the dough, and bake the cake over hot embers. Once baked, they divide it, consume it, and retreat to bed backward without uttering a word.”
If the ritual succeeded, their dreams would reveal their future husbands.
4. Pope Ladies
In Hertfordshire, there was a longstanding tradition of serving eerie-looking buns known as Pope Ladies or Popladies. Shaped roughly like human figures and sometimes adorned with dried fruit for eyes, these cakes could be unsettling to eat. A visitor in 1819 described them as “long and narrow, crudely resembling a human form, with two dried raisins or currants for eyes and another for the mouth, the lower part shaped somewhat like an Egyptian mummy’s outer casing.”
The origin of these cakes is ancient and possibly rooted in myth. One story tells of a group traveling toward St. Albans who got lost as night fell. They would have endured a cold, dark night if not for a light shining from the city’s clock tower. Guided to safety, the women in the group donated money for cakes to be distributed to the poor.
Since the cakes were distributed by monks, they were believed to represent the Pope’s Ladies.
3. Biddenden Maids
Visiting the village of Biddenden in England, you’ll be greeted by a sign depicting two women joined at the hip and shoulder. These are the Biddenden Maids. Born in 1100 AD in the village, Elisa and Mary Chulkhurst were conjoined twins who left a lasting legacy beyond just a sign. Each year, cakes shaped like the two sisters are handed out to visitors to honor their memory.
The Biddenden Maids reportedly bequeathed land to the local church upon their death at age 34. The income from this land was to be used to provide food for the poor and to create the cakes depicting the conjoined sisters.
Although the cakes are still distributed annually, they aren’t particularly delicious. Made primarily from flour and water, they are hard and often kept as souvenirs rather than eaten. Be cautious if you encounter Biddenden Cakes—some are made of plaster and intended solely for tourists.
2. Bull Cakes
“Fill your cups, my merry men all, For here’s the finest ox in the stall, Oh, he’s the best ox, without a doubt, So let us crown him with the 12th cake.”
This rhyme from Herefordshire highlights a tradition where cakes were offered to bulls to ensure a bountiful harvest. The bull didn’t eat the cake but was adorned with it. A cake with a hole in the center was placed on the bull’s horn, and its reaction foretold the success of the upcoming harvest. If the bull tossed the cake forward, it was a good sign, but if it fell backward, the winter would bring meager meals—and no cakes to spare for bulls.
If the bull didn’t toss the cake on its own, it was prodded until it did. If it still refused, a bucket of cider was thrown in its face.
1. Beltane Cakes
Beltane, a Gaelic festival once widely observed in Scotland and Ireland on May 1st, heralded the start of summer with joyous celebrations and bonfires. For those wishing to embrace a bit of Beltane tradition, baking a Beltane Cake is a perfect way to join in.
One custom involved baking a cake known as the bonnach bea-tine, which was shared among those gathered around the bonfire. A single piece of the cake was marked, and the person who received it was dubbed ‘cailleach beal-tine’—a title no one desired—for the entire year. The unfortunate individual was then playfully carried toward the fire as if to be burned or knocked down and pelted with eggshells.
In some cases, oatcakes shaped like human figures were used instead of sweet cakes. One cake was prepared for each attendee, but one was deliberately blackened with ashes from the fire. The person who drew this unlucky cake from a hat faced a mock ritual sacrifice, thankfully only symbolic.
