Buzz
Another Halloween has come and gone, leaving candy lovers with plenty of time to sort through their sugary loot. Reflecting on my childhood, I’ve compiled a list of the most disappointing Halloween treats I encountered. While modern candies might push the envelope with bizarre flavors and vibrant colors, the candies from my trick-or-treating days in the mid-70s to mid-80s were truly the bottom of the barrel. I’d love to hear your own Halloween candy horror stories and hope you all enjoyed better treats this year!
10. Good n’ Plenty
While black licorice has its fans, many people, especially children, find it downright revolting. Good n’ Plenty’s are particularly deceptive—bright pink and white shells hiding an anise-flavored nightmare. Licorice Allsorts share this unfortunate distinction. And let’s not even get started on how easily something questionable could be mixed in!
9. Homemade Treats and Baked Goods
These treats often looked delicious, especially when handed out by the kind elderly neighbor down the street. However, if you grew up after the 1970s, your parents likely tossed them out immediately, fearing that the gooey rice krispie treats, homemade fudge, or caramel apples might be laced with razor blades or poison.
8. Mr. Goodbar
The awkward misfit of the Hershey Miniatures assortment. Whether you enjoy nuts with chocolate or not, these yellow-wrapped candies never quite hit the mark. They always felt like two distinct flavors forced together, unlike superior combinations like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfingers, Baby Ruths, or Snickers. Every time, I found myself wishing for a Krackle, a classic Hershey bar, or even the Hershey Dark instead.
7. Apples
You might assume this falls under the same category as razor blades and poison, but I’m not even going there. Apples as a Halloween treat are simply disappointing! As a kid, I ate an apple in my lunch every day. It’s Halloween—give me candy!
6. Money
At first glance, receiving money seems exciting, especially if you imagined pooling it to buy candy from the corner store. However, you’d typically end up with just a few nickels or even pennies from the stingiest neighbors—never enough to make a significant candy haul. Usually, it was just sufficient for a handful of watermelon Jolly Ranchers. And speaking of which…
5. Jolly Ranchers
These candies glued your teeth together so tightly it felt like a trip to the dentist was inevitable! All that effort for such a minimal candy payoff. And the grape flavor? It was a bizarre mix—not quite cough syrup, not quite candy—just plain odd.
4. Necco Wafers/Smarties
Where do I even begin? These candies were like consuming pastel-colored chalk pressed into tiny discs. They lacked sweetness, were virtually flavorless, and felt like cheap, powdery pellets that only served to clutter the bottom of your candy bag. The only redeeming quality? They were perfect for pretend Communion if you were Catholic.
3. Mary Janes
What were these, exactly? Toffee? Peanut chews? Sawdust? From what I recall, they were some sort of molasses-based creation. But for anyone born after the era of Little House on the Prairie, where molasses was a rare treat cooled in snow to make candy, these were a massive letdown.
2. “Wrong Candy”
It was always unsettling to receive jellybeans (an Easter candy), hard ribbon candies (a Christmas staple), or other odd treats that didn’t belong at Halloween. You couldn’t help but wonder, “How long have they been hoarding these to give out?!”
1. Any Generic or Super-Cheap Lollipop
A Tootsie Pop or something similar could at least offer a decent reward—after all your licking, you’d eventually reach a Tootsie Roll or bubble gum center. But these tiny, cheap lollipops were downright awful. They tasted like you were sucking on an old shoe.
+ McDonald’s/Burger King Gift Certificates
Did anyone’s parents actually let them use these? Sure, my family wasn’t opposed to fast food, but even if they intended to let me use the certificates, no one ever remembered. Months later, they’d be discovered, long after they’d expired.
Honorable Mentions: Circus Peanuts, Generic Peanut Chews, Candy Corn (though I personally adore it, its widespread dislike earns it a spot here), and Candy Necklaces/Candy Dots on Paper (courtesy of the Necco company!).
