Top 10 Best Student Jokes

1. Proper Etiquette
A professor was teaching manners and asked a student: "If you were out dining with a woman and needed to use the restroom, how would you tell her?"
"Hold on, I need to pee!"
"That’s very rude! How would you say it?" the professor asked the second student.
"Excuse me, I need to use the restroom."
"Better, but you still mentioned the restroom at the table. What about you?" the professor asked the third student.
"I would say: Please excuse me for a moment, I need to shake hands with a close friend who I hope you'll meet later."
The professor was impressed.

2. Mischievous Students
During a history class, the professor asked Jack:
- Who won the Battle of Waterloo, the French or the British?
- I saw the match on TV… but the power went out right when the result was announced!
...
In physics class, the professor asked Ted:
- Can you remind the class about the speed of sound?
- Sorry, I’m not sure, I think my hearing’s off today.
...
A professor asked a student:
- What is a chain reaction?
- Well, it's like swimming to catch a carp and having a crocodile chasing you from behind...
...
A professor said to a student who was dozing off in class:
- Don't you feel uncomfortable while I'm teaching and you're asleep?
- No, professor, feel free to continue teaching!
...
The teacher called the roll: A, are you here?
The class: Yes...
The teacher continued: B, are you here?
The class: Yes...
The teacher continued: C, are you here?
The class: Here, sir!
The teacher adjusted his glasses: Wait, each of you answers differently!
The class: Yes, so you won’t realize we’re the same person!

1. Architecture Student's Oral Exam Experience
A student from the architecture department went for his oral exam. The teacher asked all the easiest questions, but he couldn't answer any of them.
Trying to be kind, the teacher asked the final question:
– How many light bulbs are there in this room?
The student looked up and carefully counted, making sure not to miss any:
– There are 4, teacher!
The teacher shook her head, pulled out a light bulb from her bag, and said:
– You're missing one. See you at the retake.
When the retake came, the student still couldn’t answer any of the questions. The teacher, feeling sorry for him, asked the same question:
– How many light bulbs are there in this room?
This time, the student confidently replied:
– There are 5 light bulbs!
The teacher shook her head again:
– You're wrong again. I didn't bring one today, so there are only 4!
The student immediately replied:
– But I brought one! (and pulled a light bulb out of his pocket).

2. Tall Tales from Students
Late at night, five students lay on the roof of their dorm, staring at the sparkling stars. A gentle breeze from the Red River blew. One student suddenly said:
– Yesterday, my parents sent me a billion dong from the countryside. My dad wrote in the letter:
“Times are tough, so we're saving up to buy four more cars because dad is getting older and can’t stand riding the motorbike while working in the fields.
Last time, it didn’t rain, so my sister had to contact a factory to buy Coca-Cola to water the rice. I'm not sure how the rice will grow, but the ants in our village drank so much of it that if you catch one and throw it in a pot of rice, it will taste like dessert.
I don’t know why so many city folks are coming to the countryside lately. Some cut grass, some herd cows, and they say it’s better than being stuck in traffic in the city. Many of the girls are beautiful, wearing dresses and full makeup, and they’re trying to plant rice and spray pesticides. We even have some beauty queens who want to cook pig feed, but my dad is asking if they have an English C-level certification first.”

1. Oral Exam

A student had to take an exam in front of a board of professors. The professor asked:

- In what year did Marx die?

- Marx is dead! Let's have a moment of silence to remember him!

Everyone stood up for a minute of silence. The professor asked again:

- In what year did Lenin die?

- Lenin has passed away, but his legacy lives on. To honor the great leader of the working class, let’s have five minutes of silence.

Everyone stood again, observing a moment of silence. The professor whispered to the board:

- Let’s give him 3 points, otherwise, he’ll ask us to sing the “Internationale,” and none of us knows the lyrics!

1. A Professor’s Logic Deduction
During a literature class, the teacher asked the students:
- Please choose a Chinese word and translate it into Vietnamese for me!
One student raised their hand:
- Sir, 'Thiên' means 'sky,' and 'tử' means 'child.' So 'Thiên tử' would be 'child of the sky'!
- Well done! Anyone else?
- Sir, 'Sư' means 'teacher,' and 'Tử' means 'child.' So 'Sư Tử' would be 'child of the teacher'!

2. The Opening Ceremony
On the opening day of the new term at the Foreign Trade University, welcoming the new freshmen, the rector began his speech:
- Fathers of yours!
The entire hall was stunned.
- Mothers of yours!
Many freshmen were taken aback, their faces pale. The atmosphere in the hall grew tense.
The rector continued:
- … I am very proud that you have become students of a prestigious university with the best education quality in the country.

1. The Memory
Two former students were visiting their old school.
- Student 1: You know, this phoenix tree brings back so many memories for me!
- Student 2: I actually miss the guava tree at Mr. Minh’s house more.
- Student 1: I bet you have a lot of memories with it, huh?
- Student 2: Not really, but it's so sweet and fragrant, and it's right next to the school.

2. University Exam Results
After the recent university entrance exam, a reporter interviewed a student who had taken part in the exam.
Reporter:
- How do you evaluate this year's exam?
Student:
- Last year, I wasn't very lucky. I missed out by half a point (12/24).
Reporter (slightly confused):
- So, did you retake the exam this year?
Student:
- Yes! Honestly, the exam questions this year were very easy, especially the math section. As long as you memorize all the formulas, you can answer everything. I personally got one question wrong… the rest, I... didn’t attempt.

Reporter:

- !!!!!

1. The Chair
A quirky philosophy professor assigned an exam to his students. The whole class was ready, and the professor picked up his chair, placed it on the desk, and wrote on the board:
"Using everything we have learned, prove that this chair does not exist."
The students furiously wrote, some producing more than 30 pages in an hour, trying to disprove the existence of the chair. Only one student stood up and finished the exam in less than a minute.
A few weeks later, the grades were posted. Most students were disappointed since no one received an A, except for the student who left early.
Curious, everyone approached him and asked what he had written. He simply replied: "I wrote two words: What chair?"

2. Knowing How to Obey
The teacher asked the student:
- You always come last in class, why don’t you compete with your classmates?
- Teacher, you’ve always taught me to be considerate of others!

- Teacher: !?!?

1. Long Hair
A bearded man asked a student with the longest hair in the class:
- MR: All the girls are cutting their hair short, why do you still have long hair?
- AD: I plan to keep it long until I graduate from university, then I’ll cut it!

- MR: Well, congratulations!

- AD: What for?

- MR: You’ll be entered in the disciplinary records for having the longest hair in the world!

- AD: Huh?

2. Being Admired More
- Professor: If Shakespeare were alive today, do you think he would still be admired like he was in the 12th century?
- Student: Well, professor, I believe Shakespeare would be even more admired because if he were alive today, he’d be over 400 years old. He’d probably make it into the Guinness World Records for the oldest living person!

1. The Bus Ride
Two students were talking while riding the bus. The first one said:
– Yesterday, I was on the bus, and it was crowded. A woman had to stand, and I really don’t like seeing women standing on the bus…
His friend asked: So, did you offer her your seat? The first one replied: – No! I just closed my eyes.
Seeing this, the second guy continued: The other day, I was sitting on the bus when a pretty girl got on and stood right next to me. I was about to stand up, but she kept pushing me down. After three times, she finally said, “You don’t have to give up your seat for me.”
The first guy slapped his thigh and said:
– See! Girls should be considerate and know how to behave. So, what happened next?
The second guy replied: Considerate? My foot! I missed 3 bus stops because of her!

2. Makes Perfect Sense
Two students ran into each other:
- Khánh just got admitted to the hospital. Let’s bring him some bread to visit!
- What?
- When you visit someone sick, what do you usually bring?
- Oranges, sugar, milk...
- Exactly! Bread dipped in milk is the best! Besides, many people bring milk, but bringing bread is the most stylish thing to do!

1. Sneaky

A Chinese student was living with a Russian student in the dorm. Every day, the Russian student would bring his girlfriend over, play loud music day and night, which made the Chinese student extremely annoyed. However, he silently endured without saying anything.

One day, the Russian student suddenly woke up to his behavior, felt guilty, and confided to the Chinese student:

- I’m sorry for bothering you. From now on, I promise I won’t bring my girlfriend over anymore or play music loudly so you can study in peace.

The Chinese student, deeply moved, replied: - I really appreciate you understanding. And in return, I promise that I won’t urinate in your soup anymore.

2. The Logic of a Poor Student
A poor student was extremely hungry but didn’t know what to do, so he decided to take a chance and entered a small food shop:
– Can I get a steamed dumpling?
– Sure! The shopkeeper brought out a steamed dumpling.
– How much for a bun?
– The same as the dumpling.
– Then I’ll take a bun instead.
After eating the bun, the student got up to leave.
– Hey! Aren’t you going to pay?
– Pay for what????
– For the bun.
– But I exchanged it for the dumpling.
– But you haven’t paid for the dumpling.
– Wow, your shop is funny. The dumpling is still there, I didn’t eat it, so why should I pay for it?

1. Logic Class
During a logic class, the professor asks the students:
- For example, does your house have any cows?
- Yes, it does...
- So logically, your house must have a meadow, right?
- Correct!
- Following the logic, do you have a house by the meadow?
- Oh, yes!
- Since you have this wonderful house, you must have plenty of money, right?
- Of course, professor!

2. A Student’s Reasoning

Skipping breakfast is not because there's no money for food, but because you want to save time for... sleeping.

Money is a huge time sink. To get it, people do a lot of things: write letters home, ask friends for "aid," "visit" pawn shops, and submit requests for tuition extensions...

When a student decides to stop pursuing a girl, it's not because they lack charm, talent, persistence, or there’s stiff competition... but simply because a single rose from Da Lat costs 20,000 VND!

When using someone else’s shampoo, it’s not because you can’t afford it, or you’re being cheap, but because that shampoo... works well for your hair.

When you decide to cut your hair short... or trim your long hair off... it's not because you're following a trend, but because you want to save water and shampoo.