Top 10 Common Stubborn Behaviors in Preschoolers and How to Address Them Effectively

Situation: Not following the teacher's instructions is another form of stubbornness in preschoolers. The child prefers to do things their way and make their own decisions. For children in this group, the teacher’s guidance can feel intrusive, as if the teacher is interfering with what they are doing, leading them to resist following the teacher’s plans. For instance, during a drawing class on the theme 'Animals,' where the task was to draw a dog, most of the children were focused, but the teacher noticed Hùng drawing a chicken. The teacher kindly reminded him, 'Hùng, the theme today is dogs, not chickens.' Hùng responded, 'I don’t want to draw a dog, I only want to draw a car.'

How to Handle:

• The teacher can try praising the child and gently guide them towards the lesson topic: 'I know Hùng can draw a dog beautifully, even better than many of your classmates. Why don’t you give it a try? If you find it difficult, I’ll draw with you.'
• If Hùng still refuses to draw, the teacher can help by suggesting how to approach the drawing or breaking it down into steps suited to the child's ability.
• If the child persists in drawing a car, allow them to do so. They’ve still met the objective of the class, which is to express creativity. Afterward, encourage Hùng to try the assigned activity.
• At the end of the lesson, when giving feedback on everyone’s drawings, the teacher should spend a moment praising Hùng’s work and gently remind him to follow the lesson's task, just like the other children in the class.

Situation: This behavior is often observed at home, where children know they are loved by their parents and feel confident that they will get their way. The best way for parents to manage a stubborn child in this situation is to ignore the child’s whining, as though they don’t notice the tears. Parents need to understand that if they immediately react to the child's crying by giving in to their demands, the child will learn that this is an effective way to get what they want and continue the behavior.

How to Handle:

• By ignoring the child's whining, parents send a clear message that their tactic has failed and that their demands will not be met. Once the child stops crying, parents can ask what the child needs help with and offer their support in solving the issue.
• It may take some time for parents to wait out the child's outbursts, but this time is not wasted. Listening to the child helps them feel heard and respected, and when the parent offers advice or analysis, it will be more effective.

Situation: During playtime, while all the other children are engaged in activities, one child refuses to join any of the play corners. As a teacher, how would you handle this situation?

Solution:

• In this case, the teacher should first understand the reason behind the child’s reluctance to participate in order to address it appropriately. If the child is unwell, the teacher should provide suitable care and attention.
• If the child’s disinterest is due to the activity not aligning with their interests or play preferences, the teacher should talk with the child to understand their ideas and adapt the available toys and materials accordingly.
• If the child lacks the skills or confidence to join in, the teacher can engage with the child directly, offering praise and encouragement, and participate in play to spark the child’s interest and build their confidence.

Situation: In the classroom, there is a child who refuses to eat any kind of meat during meal times, only eating rice with soup. As a teacher, how would you handle this situation?

Solution:

• Investigate the cause by speaking with the child’s parents and observing their eating habits during class meals.
• Have a discussion with the child or a group of children about the importance of eating meat and how it benefits the body.
• Encourage the child to participate in hands-on activities, like cooking, where they can prepare meat dishes, such as spring rolls or Vietnamese pho, to make the experience more engaging.
• At mealtimes, introduce the dishes and encourage the child to try a little. Work with the parents to prepare different meat-based dishes and gradually encourage the child to eat more over time.

Situation: In class, there is a child in preschool who often interrupts during lessons. The child speaks out of turn, sometimes even using inappropriate language, disrupting the class. As a teacher, how should you handle this situation?

Solution:

• First, understand the underlying reasons for the child's behavior before deciding on an appropriate solution.
• If the child interrupts or speaks out without permission, the teacher can use non-verbal cues—such as facial expressions, gestures, or body language—to signal disapproval and show the child that their behavior is not acceptable.
• Always praise children who raise their hands to speak, encouraging others to follow this behavior. You can also display a “Raise Your Hand to Speak” poster in the classroom as a reminder to all the students.
• If the child continues to speak out of turn, politely ask the child to sit down and raise their hand next time. After each instance, offer encouragement and praise when the child follows the correct procedure. Provide rewards or positive reinforcement when the child remembers to ask for permission before speaking.

Situation: After playing with toys, a child refuses to follow the teacher’s instructions to put the toys back in their proper places. How should the teacher handle this?

Solution:

• First, remain calm and avoid raising your voice. Gently remind the child to return the toys to their correct spots. If the child still refuses, you can set clear rules and consequences for those who do not put the toys away properly.
• By doing this, you can help instill discipline in the child and encourage them to follow the classroom’s rules.

Situation: During nap time, some children refuse to sleep or simply can’t fall asleep. Some lie wide-eyed, tossing and turning throughout the afternoon, while others fidget and bother their neighbors by pinching them, causing disruptions. Some children even cry and ask to go home to their mothers. How would you, as a preschool teacher, handle this situation without disturbing the others?

Solution:

• When children first come to class, it’s important to establish the habit of going to sleep when it’s nap time.
• The teacher can tell quiet bedtime stories, speaking softly to help the children relax and drift off to sleep. Singing lullabies and paying attention to children who struggle to sleep can also help.
• If a child refuses to sleep, don’t force them. Instead, move the child to a quieter area where they can engage in calm activities like puzzles, drawing, or modeling clay. It's also essential to communicate with the child’s parents to ensure that the child gets enough sleep at home.

Situation: It is common for children in preschool to become aggressive, fight over toys, and hit others. This behavior often leaves teachers feeling exhausted and frustrated. In some cases, a teacher may calmly encourage the children to share, but with more stubborn children, a gentle approach may not work. However, this doesn't mean the teacher should resort to yelling or punishing the child. A more strategic approach can help resolve the issue.

Solution:

• Before allowing children to play, the teacher should prepare by assigning roles. A good strategy is to appoint the child as the group leader, giving them the responsibility to distribute toys and explain the rules of the game. This will make the child feel proud and valued, which increases the likelihood they will follow the rules. Once the task is completed, the teacher should praise the child for their contribution, reinforcing positive behavior.
• At home, it can be more challenging for parents to manage aggressive behaviors and toy conflicts. However, there is an advantage for teachers in a group setting, as children at this age desire attention and approval from their peers. When a child is praised for being kind or sharing in front of the class, it encourages other children to imitate these positive behaviors. Over time, the frequency of aggressive behavior, toy disputes, and hitting can be significantly reduced.