1. Help Your Child Understand the Consequences of Disobedience, Set Clear Rules and Consequences
Every time your child makes a mistake, parents should first reflect on their own actions. This helps control any frustration when the child acts out. Once you've decided how to handle the situation, it’s important to manage your behavior and explain to the child why the action was wrong.
Before implementing a rule, explain to your child what the consequences will be if they break it.
For rules that are established, parents can write them down and place them in visible spots like the refrigerator, desk, or bedroom. These spots should ensure the child can read them daily. Choose punishments that are appropriately discouraging and meaningful to the child so they will listen. Sometimes, a certain punishment may work for one child but not another.
By applying these consequences, your child will learn to associate actions with responsibility, helping them understand what is acceptable and what is not, while also reducing the need for yelling or frustration from the parents.


2. Ignore Your Child’s Unreasonable Demands
Throughout the parenting process, many parents express frustration over their children’s defiance, stubbornness, and reluctance to listen. Often, by always giving in to the child's demands, parents unknowingly reinforce the child’s bad behavior, leading them to become more stubborn and believe they are the center of the family. Once this becomes a habit, if their demands are not met, the child may react with tantrums, anger, and yelling.
Therefore, ignoring unreasonable demands is an effective way to discipline a child, curbing stubbornness and resistance. Children need to understand that not every request they make will be granted, and there must always be boundaries in place.


3. Don't Force Your Child to Do Things They Dislike, Give Them the Power to Choose
Every child has their own preferences, needs, and desires. Parents should avoid imposing their own ideas on their children, as this can lead to defiance and rebellion, especially during their formative years. This is particularly important when children reach the age of 7, a time when they begin to form their understanding of the world around them. Parents need to clearly distinguish between reasonable desires and respond to them appropriately.
Parents should not force their ideas on their children in all situations. It’s important to give children the opportunity to make choices within reasonable boundaries so they feel respected. For example, if a child prefers to learn singing over playing an instrument, allow them to follow their interests. This fosters respect and gives them a sense of control over their own decisions.
Ask questions like: 'Do you want to change into your pajamas or brush your teeth first?' or 'Would you like the red hat or the green one?' Giving children choices like these makes them feel empowered and reduces resistance towards their parents.


4. Provide Your Child with a Peaceful and Happy Family Environment
Parents are often obsessed with their children's future success, sometimes forgetting that teaching children not only involves fostering confidence, good academic performance, obedience, and good behavior but also happiness—one of the fundamental needs of every human being. Later in life, happiness becomes a primary pursuit for adults. Children at the age of 7 learn a great deal from the behaviors of the adults around them. Therefore, if children witness their parents arguing or using harsh words, they are likely to mimic these behaviors. This can significantly affect their emotional and behavioral development as they grow up.
Creating a warm, happy family where parents show kindness, listen, and understand one another sets a valuable example for children. When children feel their importance in the family, it helps them adjust their behavior accordingly. The connection between parents and children is vital, and many parents, overwhelmed with work, overlook this aspect. Thus, parents should dedicate more time to their children outside of work, showing them love during these moments.


5. Avoid Overprotecting Your Child
Fearing for your child's safety outside your protective embrace is a common reason why parents tend to overprotect. However, children who are overly shielded from the outside world often become weaker. Overprotecting means that parents try to prevent their children from experiencing the everyday challenges of life. Regardless of their age, parents should teach their children to be independent from the smallest tasks such as dressing themselves, personal hygiene, or eating on their own. Some parents take on all household tasks to shield their children from extra work, only focusing on academics or worrying about their child's health and cleanliness. However, this well-intentioned care can turn children into lazy, dependent individuals who rely on others.
Learning to do tasks helps children experience life and develop problem-solving skills. They will become more responsible and less likely to be overwhelmed when they face challenges in the outside world. As they grow, they will become more self-sufficient and able to tackle difficulties without needing help from their parents. Teach them how to face challenges—this is the true way of parenting.


6. Không can thiệp vào cuộc chơi của trẻ trừ khi thật sự cần thiết
Nếu trẻ không yêu cầu, bạn nên đứng ngoài quan sát cuộc chơi của trẻ, không bênh vực, không can thiệp, chỉ đứng ra làm trọng tài khi cần thiết. Thay vì bênh vực hay chỉ trích con trẻ, cha mẹ hãy nhìn nhận vấn đề một cách khách quan.
Sau khi trẻ tự mình giải quyết vấn đề, hãy từ tốn chỉ ra cho con thấy rằng đâu là đúng, đâu là sai và cách giải quyết cho lần sau nếu gặp lại câu chuyện tương tự. Thay vì phạt trẻ, bạn hãy quan tâm, yêu thương và trở thành những tấm gương để chúng noi theo. Đó chính là bí quyết dạy con nghe lời hiệu quả nhất.
Trẻ 7 tuổi cần có kỹ năng tự lập trong nhiều phương diện, một trong số đó chính là tự mình giải quyết vấn đề, giải quyết các mâu thuẫn. Nhưng những mâu thuẫn này chính là những cơ hội đầu đời để trẻ hoàn thiện khả năng đối diện, ứng phó, xử lý và giải quyết các vấn đề trong cuộc sống sau này.


7. Be a Role Model for Your Child to Follow
Raising a child requires collaboration between the family and school. The early lessons children learn come directly from their parents. Children tend to imitate and learn from those closest to them, and parents are their primary role models.
We often describe children as blank slates, mirrors reflecting the actions of their parents. Therefore, parents must always remember their responsibility to be a good example for their children to follow. The rules parents set should apply not only to their children but to all family members.
Parents must embody the principles they establish so that their children can emulate them. If parents frequently make mistakes, children will resist listening to them and fail to develop good traits. Moreover, parents should avoid conflicts and arguments in front of their children to make the teaching of obedience more effective.


8. Be Patient, Listen, and Avoid Arguments
When children are being stubborn and refusing to listen, parents should avoid arguing, getting angry, or punishing them. This will only escalate the situation. Instead, parents should listen carefully and engage in a calm conversation, paying attention to both their words and body language.
To start the conversation, parents can ask simple questions like: What’s bothering you? What would you like to do now? These questions help the child feel heard and supported by their parents.
Throughout the discussion, parents should be patient, try to understand the reasons behind the child’s frustration, and work to ease their discomfort. The best way to teach children to listen is by being patient and offering discipline without raising your voice. Furthermore, parents should respond gently, break the issue into smaller pieces, and provide clear explanations. This approach helps the child understand the situation from the parents’ perspective and gradually reduces resistance.


9. Don’t Force Your Child
Children are not yet capable of thinking as adults do, but there are situations where they should be allowed to make their own decisions. Encourage your child to try new things and step out of their comfort zone, but never force them to do something as this may lead to resistance. This mindset is common in both adults and children. Especially with strong-willed children, they are very sensitive to how their parents treat them. Therefore, when conversing with them, parents should avoid using a tone, body language, or words that seem forceful or commanding.
At the same time, parents need to build a stronger bond with their child so that they will truly listen. For example, when it’s time for bed and your child is still playing, instead of forcing them to stop, sit and play with them and ask what they are doing. Discuss the game they’re playing, and then gently shift the conversation towards bedtime. Children are more likely to cooperate when they feel they are not being forced and are receiving attention.


10. Praise Your Child for Good Deeds
The way adults interact with children plays a significant role in whether they listen or not. To address stubborn behavior, parents should encourage and praise their child when they do something good, even if it is a small act. It’s important not to focus only on the mistakes or harshly punish the child, but to calmly explain the situation.
Encouraging good behavior teaches children that this is how they gain attention and positive reinforcement. To further motivate your child, consider rewarding them with small treats, reinforcing good actions. This is an effective way to help children become more obedient.
Parents can use praise words to show appreciation for their child’s efforts, such as:
- Great job, congratulations, impressive, thoughtful, amazing, very impressive…
- I’m so happy with you, responsible, that was meaningful.
- I appreciate what you’ve done, I know you can do this.
- I believe in your abilities.
- I know you can do even better, try again, just a little bit more…


