Top 15 Tips for Overcoming Laziness in Children

When your child is reprimanded by a teacher for not completing their schoolwork, parents should apply a suitable consequence, but not immediately for minor signs of laziness. If your child sees that both you and their teacher disapprove of their lazy behavior, they are likely to correct themselves.

Remember, parents should discipline but avoid holding grudges. Don’t keep bringing up your child’s past mistakes, as no child enjoys being repeatedly criticized.

A well-timed compliment can be incredibly motivating. Parents shouldn’t hesitate to praise their child when they make significant efforts. Your praise will encourage them to be more self-motivated, proactive, and engaged in their studies. At the same time, parents should also offer reminders, criticisms, and appropriate punishments when their child displays a lack of effort, low self-esteem, or neglects their studies.

Rewarding should always go hand-in-hand with discipline. This will help your child understand the benefits of learning and the consequences of a negative attitude toward their education.

It’s important for parents to understand that if a child is not reminded to study, they will forget. The teacher, who has the authority to guide the child, is the one responsible for reminding them that learning is their responsibility. If a teacher punishes a child for not completing assignments, the child will realize that learning is their job, not anyone else’s. Parents should let teachers do their part.

Only with this approach will the child’s education be as effective as possible. Regular communication with the teacher about your child’s progress will help parents take timely corrective actions.

Comparing your child to others is a serious insult to their character. Your child has their own strengths and weaknesses, and they will have their unique talents as well. Therefore, when praising your child, focus on their effort and progress rather than just their grades. This approach will motivate your child much more effectively.

Parents often teach the right lessons, but when a child struggles with learning, saying things like “You’re not smart enough, you’ll end up doing a low-paying job like cleaning streets…” only burdens the child’s psyche. Repeating such phrases repeatedly only makes them feel discouraged and unwilling to listen to you.

Be concise and avoid forcing your child to comply with everything you say. A more measured approach will be far more effective with children. Don’t let them dread coming home from school because of what they’ll hear from you.

However, supervision doesn’t mean sitting right next to them and watching every move. Sometimes, just knowing that someone is monitoring them from a distance will be enough to keep them on track. When children know they are being supervised, they will naturally avoid distractions and focus more on their work.

Extra lessons are a common source of stress for many children in Vietnam. After spending hours at school, they are often required to dedicate an additional 2-4 hours to extra classes in subjects like math, literature, and specialized topics. Some children attend these lessons to improve their academic performance, while others do it solely to meet their parents’ expectations. Afterward, they often return home exhausted, with tired faces and little enthusiasm to do anything else. The immense pressure can rob these children of their childhood. So, parents, it’s time to reconsider your child’s study approach.

Instead of forcing your child to attend extra lessons, you could explore online learning methods that encourage independent study. This is an active, self-driven learning approach suitable for all students. It offers lessons aligned with the school curriculum, taught by experienced and qualified educators, with a comprehensive system of reviews and exercises to help children master the material. Most importantly, this method allows children to study at home without the stress and crowded classrooms of extra lessons.

Parents should encourage their children to be friends with classmates who are serious about their studies. It’s not difficult to do. Motivated classmates can have a positive influence on your child's motivation. A little healthy competition or even the subtle disapproving look from a friend can inspire a child to study harder than any lecture or nagging from parents.

Creating interest in studying and overcoming laziness may not be easy, but with time and effort, parents can help their children make great progress.

Review your child’s extra classes and ask them which ones they would prefer to skip, why they feel that way, and if they believe they can still perform well in those subjects. Let them take breaks from some of these extra classes. Aim to have more family meals together, and on weekends, plan outings. Dedicate real quality time with your child without distractions like phones. Engage in real conversations, genuinely listening to them to understand what they are thinking and wanting, rather than constantly pushing them about their studies.

After school, inquire about how they feel—whether they’re tired, happy, or sad. Show genuine interest in their feelings, desires, and thoughts, focusing on understanding them instead of pushing your own parental desires, like enrolling them in selective schools. Instead of venting about work or badmouthing colleagues, share your own positive experiences and the lessons you've learned. This will help nurture a meaningful bond with your child.

During daily conversations, parents should frequently discuss the future—what the family plans for the next 5 or 10 years, what the parents' dreams are, and ask the child about their own plans. Engage in these discussions weekly or monthly.

At first, children might not want to talk or may come up with unrealistic ideas, but frequent conversations will gradually influence their thinking. Over time, they will begin to think more seriously about their future careers, and this shift will lead to noticeable changes in their attitude toward learning.

Parents should go book shopping together, making an effort to read and discuss books as a family. This can even include love novels to begin with, and later progress to more meaningful books, such as those on personal development or skills like sales and business. Only books can equip children with long-lasting skills and valuable knowledge that will serve them well in the future.

Start with books the children enjoy. The whole family should read, discuss, and share ideas together. If reading becomes challenging, try listening to audiobooks for 15 to 30 minutes daily. Present it as a required task from parents, with the understanding that it won't be like regular school lessons. This small daily commitment can be very beneficial. There are many great books available on YouTube.

Parents should create opportunities for children to engage in activities they enjoy, as these could lead to significant milestones in their future success. Children develop skills much faster when they are learning and doing things they are passionate about.

Though the results may not be immediately visible, these skills are building in the background, and will contribute to shaping who the children will become as adults.

Studying is the child’s responsibility. Why should parents remind children to do something they are supposed to do on their own? Parents must realize that learning is not our job. Therefore, children need to manage their own studies. If they are constantly reminded, the result will be that children think, 'I’ll study when mom reminds me,' eventually leading them to believe that 'learning is for the parents' or 'if parents don’t remind me, then I won’t do it.'

Although parents should not remind their children to study, they must always maintain a close relationship with the teacher to be aware of any missed homework assignments. When children aren’t reminded, they are likely to forget. The person most qualified to remind them of their homework is the teacher. When the teacher reprimands them for not completing their assignments, they will understand that studying is their responsibility, not anyone else’s.

For children who struggle with laziness, parents should avoid using harsh methods, as this will only increase their stress and frustration. Instead, you should use gentle, thoughtful words to encourage and advise them. Laziness is a bad habit that, if not corrected, can lead to many problems and consequences.

Explain to your child the harmful effects of laziness—how it can cause them to fall behind their classmates or lose respect from teachers and peers. When your child hears these well-thought-out, gentle explanations, they will begin to realize the consequences of their lack of effort and will likely become more motivated to change.

For most students who are reluctant to study, the root cause is that they haven’t found interest in their studies. It’s important to find reasons and ways to make learning enjoyable for them, as this will help them focus and engage in class.

Children are very sensitive. Parents should avoid using harsh or insulting language when addressing their child's laziness. Instead, approach the situation gently and work together to correct your child’s attitude towards learning. You can share a personal story or an example of someone who has benefited from hard work and dedication to their studies.

Once children realize the importance of learning, they will develop a positive attitude, making your educational methods more effective. In addition to offering reminders and correcting their attitude towards studying, parents can also impose appropriate, effective punishments to help children understand the consequences of their actions. For instance, if your child hasn’t completed their homework, you can prevent them from attending a friend’s birthday party or going on a family outing.