Top 16 Secrets to Maintaining a Happy Family

Even after marriage, don't forget to share a kiss to start the day and another to say goodnight. A simple kiss on the forehead, cheek, or lips will only deepen the love between you. Make it a daily habit.

Never think that after marriage, small gestures and care can decrease. On the contrary, these should increase, as it is the way to make your partner feel loved and to keep the relationship happy.

A happy marriage requires not just trust and respect but also joint participation from both partners in household tasks. When both partners share the household chores, it feels like both are showing respect for their family and treating their home as a place filled with happiness.

Typically, many men believe that household chores are the responsibility of women. However, the best approach is for men to share the workload with their partner, even in small tasks like picking vegetables while cooking.

Showing care for both sides of the family will make your spouse feel happy, knowing that you care about their family as much as your own. You don’t have to do anything extravagant; sometimes just calling to check on your in-laws’ health or bringing them a gift when you travel is enough.

These may seem like small gestures, but they contribute greatly to strengthening the bond in your shared life.

It’s difficult, but not impossible. A simple psychological exercise that you should try: For one month, make it a point to discover one positive trait of your spouse every day and compliment them. In the beginning, it might be tough, but soon you will start noticing qualities that you had never appreciated before. The other person will feel happy because their strengths are being recognized.

Over time, the way you view each other will shift positively, and your relationship will become more harmonious. This mindset can also be applied to other situations in life, such as thinking of losing your wallet as a lesson learned rather than a disaster. This approach helps reduce stress and makes life easier to navigate.

Never lie to your spouse; doing so will make them feel untrusted, anxious, and suspicious, leading them to wonder if you're hiding something. This can cause frustration and strain in your marriage...

The key is to always be honest with your partner. By doing so, you'll find that your bond grows stronger, and you will be more connected and trusting of one another. This is one of the best ways to maintain a happy marriage.

If you find some free time, you and your spouse can go on a trip, experience something new, watch a movie together, or enjoy a glass of wine... You can leave the kids with their grandparents to relive those "honeymoon" moments and reignite your marriage. A couple can plan fun excursions together, sharing thoughts on the exciting adventures, which helps to understand each other better.

You can also refresh your marriage by creating romantic, loving, and exciting moments like planning a relaxing holiday or gifting something meaningful to your spouse. This keeps the happiness alive in your relationship.

The more laughter within a family, the more shared moments and stronger bonds between family members. When grandparents and parents dedicate time to their children and grandchildren, they, in turn, learn to understand and love one another more deeply. All members cherish the time spent together, appreciating the value of family life.

Regardless of age, occupation, or location, many people always strive to prioritize time for their family. However, due to the pressures of a busy life, this priority sometimes boils down to a shared meal, whether it's breakfast, lunch, or dinner. You don’t need to prepare elaborate dishes—sitting together for tea or enjoying a sweet treat is enough to create a warm atmosphere. Each member can share their joys and sorrows, offering support and encouragement.

“In a conflict, fairness and generosity are essential” is a famous saying from The Tao. When two people live together under one roof, differences and disagreements are inevitable. Happy couples fight for their perspectives but do so carefully, which strengthens their relationship. They are particularly delicate in their choice of words to avoid hurting each other.

In a study, researcher Benjamin Seider from the University of California (Berkeley) observed the dynamics of happy couples. He found that, during conversations or debates, they tended to use plural pronouns like “we” and “us” more often than singular ones like “I” or “mine.” These couples typically didn’t feel the stress after a discussion that other couples often do.

On this note, Benjamin Seider advises that when couples argue, they should consciously use plural pronouns like “we” more often. This will help both partners see that they’re not opponents but on the same team.

You might find it difficult to forgive and forget the recent hurt, but try your best to let go of mistakes and move them into the past. Happy couples share that they always apologize whenever they make a mistake or hurt each other. When they are the ones hurt, they accept the apology from their spouse and view it as a "gift" in their married life. In short, the ultimate goal for happy couples is forgiveness. If you're finding it hard to forgive, here’s a four-step principle to follow:

• Calm Down: Take time to reflect on your partner or the issue that has occurred.
• Restraint: Avoid thinking about punishing or separating. Do not engage in any rash actions, even fleeting thoughts. Remind yourself to cultivate tolerance.
• Forget: Do not torture yourself thinking about who is at fault. Let everything pass naturally.
• Forgive: Use reason to think about forgiveness. Let go of grudges and abandon any desire for retaliation.

When asked about the agreement on managing family finances over nearly 60 years of marriage, Mrs. Nguyễn Thị Duyên (88 years old) smiled proudly and said: "The key to happiness in marriage is choosing the right partner. Both husband and wife must share similar views on core values, including money. Specifically, when it comes to finances, if you tend to be a spender, you should marry someone who has a more relaxed view on money.

As for my husband and me, we share common goals: saving money, and whenever we want to purchase something worth more than a million VND, we consult each other. We also want our children to become responsible citizens and manage their money wisely."

In marriage, don’t assume everything should be split equally at 50/50. There’s a rule you should remember: give 60 and take 40. This applies to both partners.

In married life, sacrifice and forgiveness are key elements. However, don’t feel obligated to give too much, or you will feel overwhelmed. Instead, allow yourself to receive a little for yourself, so that the marital relationship becomes a true gift to each other.

When a couple decides to live together under one roof, it’s not just about fulfilling a promise, it’s about a commitment. Marriage is built on vows. Both partners promise to stand by each other in times of wealth and poverty, in moments of joy and sorrow, during sickness and health.

Mrs. Nguyễn Thị Loan, the wife of the man, recalls how when her husband was 49, he had a near-fatal traffic accident. "Even though we were financially struggling, I did everything I could to help my husband recover. While he was bedridden, I reminded him of the vows we made so that he could find the strength to overcome the pain. To me, he is a wonderful husband, full of forgiveness, and the only person in the world I can completely trust.”

No one can claim that marriage is free of conflict. The important thing is where those conflicts lead. Do they end in an argument where one person sleeps on the couch and the other is left with lingering resentment and frustration?

To avoid such conflicts, both partners need to understand and empathize with each other. Put yourself in your spouse's shoes and ask yourself: What is my partner thinking? How are they feeling? What do they want? Doing so will help you understand your partner better. Show that you care about their feelings and never act indifferent or detached.

No marriage can thrive if there is no mutual respect between spouses. It is essential to respect each other's thoughts and opinions. This is a fundamental aspect that will greatly influence the happiness of your family.

Marriage researcher, Dr. John Gottman, states that love in happy marriages is built on a foundation of respect, love, and mutual understanding. Couples in successful marriages show concern for what’s happening in each other’s lives. In his study of marital disputes, Dr. Gottman observed that even during heated arguments, for every negative comment, there are five positive ones. On the other hand, couples with failing marriages tend to express negative thoughts and criticisms toward each other.

If you constantly doubt your spouse and live with that skepticism, how can you be happy? The answer is: "You can't." These doubts will make your partner uncomfortable, and at times, they may not know how to assure you that they are trustworthy.

Your marriage won’t last if you believe: "This marriage won’t last." Always put trust in your marriage and believe that you will remain together forever. That’s how you keep the flame of happiness alive.

Many people believe that when a relationship loses its spark, it's headed in the wrong direction, and they seek new excitement. However, a long-lasting relationship is built on responsibility and mutual trust, and this is where love thrives. The mistake here is believing that you’ll always live in a world full of rosy love. Therefore, both partners should trust each other to prevent unnecessary misunderstandings.