Top 18 Funniest Jokes about Women for March 8th

A guy wanted to invite his girlfriend to watch a movie on March 8th. His girlfriend, however, refused.
- I can’t, I have a test that day.
- You can study for the test another time. It's just one test - the guy insisted.
- No, this test is really important.
- ????
- Let me explain. If I fail this test, then my grades will drop by the end of the course, and I might fail the class. If I fail this class, I won’t be able to graduate. Without graduation, I won’t get a good job. Without a good job, I won’t be able to support my family. You know, family is the core of society. So, if the family is in crisis, the country will face difficulties. And the country is an essential part of the world. If the country collapses, how can the world survive? The world is part of the universe, and if it doesn’t exist anymore, what will happen to the universe? So, tell me, is this test important or not?
- !!!!!

On the morning of March 9th, after sobering up, the husband turned to his wife and said with a grateful look:

- Thank you so much.
- Thank me for what? - the wife asked, curious.
- Yesterday, I didn’t even have a chance to give you a gift, yet you surprised me with something big.
- ????? - the wife was suspicious.
- That bottle of wine you gave me yesterday, the one I left on the nightstand, although it wasn’t big, had a very unique flavor.
- Oh my God! Wasn't the wine enough for you last night? You came home and drank up my expensive new bottle of perfume!

A guy was complaining to his friend:

- Every time March 8th comes around, I get a fever from the stress. I don’t know what to do to please my wife. If I buy flowers, she says it’s a waste. If I buy a gift, she says I don’t know what she likes. If I just give her money to buy something herself, she says I don’t care… On normal days, I just cook, wash the dishes, clean the house, do the laundry... but on March 8th, I also have to add the task of feeding the baby.

- ????
- Oh, I mean feeding the baby with the bottle. I realized something, man, having a wife is like wearing an 8-shaped collar on your neck. And one part of it has the number 3 on it. So, every man just dreams of reducing the strictness of the home prison by 50%. We know that dreaming doesn’t require saving, but people still say not to get your hopes up.

In a husband's petition, it says:
"...I have noticed that in Vietnam, there are too many holidays nowadays, and we men are constantly struggling to come up with gift ideas for women throughout the year. Here are some examples:
January - Western New Year
February - Lunar New Year, Valentine's Day (14/2)
March - International Women's Day (8/3)
April - Independence Day (30/4)
May - Labor Day (1/5)
June - International Children's Day
July - Luckily, no holiday this month
August - August Revolution (19/8); Vu Lan Festival
September - National Day; Mid-Autumn Festival
October - Vietnamese Women's Day (20/10), Halloween (31/10)
November - Vietnamese Teachers' Day (20/11)
December - Christmas, Year-End Celebration

Not to mention anniversaries, birthdays, the day we met, the day we confessed our love, and so on—the frequency is overwhelming! So, I propose that there should be a special Men's Day so that we can receive gifts from our wives or girlfriends to avoid feeling left out...

In the concert hall, one man asked the person next to him:

- This is the first time I've heard such a beautiful sonata. The first two movements are so sad...

To which the other person replied:

- It's easy to understand, the first two movements were composed when his wife left him.

The man then asked:

- And what about the third movement? It sounds incredibly tragic.
- Well, that's when his wife came back.
- !?

A guy returned home with two black eyes and met his friend on the street:- What happened to you? - The friend asked.- I find women so hard to understand. I was walking behind this girl when I saw a caterpillar fall on her neck. I immediately reached out to remove it. Then she turned around and punched me right in the eye!- So what about the other eye?- Well, she caused that too. After the punch, I thought she didn't like it, so I placed the caterpillar back in its original spot.

A billionaire was out for a walk when he found a bottle washed ashore. He picked it up, uncorked it, and a genie appeared, saying: - I will grant you one wish for freeing me. The billionaire thought for a moment and said: - I love vacationing in Hawaii, but I'm afraid of both airplanes and ships. Please build a bridge from here to there. - That request is incredibly difficult; I doubt it can be done, the genie replied. - Then tell me, how can I make women happy? The genie thought long and hard, then muttered: - Alright, do you want the bridge to have two or four lanes?

A woman entered a psychological clinic seeking advice:

- Doctor, my husband is so obsessed with football that he completely ignores me. Do you have any suggestions to help me?

- You should pay more attention to your makeup and clothing.

- I've already done that, but it didn't work!

- You need to be gentler and take better care of him.

- That doesn't work either.

- The last resort: Print his idol's jersey number on your nightgown. Good luck!

Jill complained to her friend Nina:

- Rosey told me that you shared the secret I asked you not to tell her.

- Yes.

Nina, looking disappointed, continued:

- But I told her not to let you know I had shared it with her.

- Oh really?

Jill sighed and said:

- Then don't tell her that I told you she was the one who told me!!!

- !?!

At the pool, a man, with a beaming smile, walked back to his wife.

His wife immediately asked him:

- Where have you been?

- I saw a stunningly beautiful girl lying by the shore, almost naked, with only a newspaper covering her belly.

His wife growled:

- And then what happened?

- I picked up the newspaper.

At this point, his wife went to grab a broom and asked him again:

- And what did you find that excited you so much?

- Well, the newspaper reported that the stock I invested in had risen by 10%.

Hearing this, his wife threw the broom away and exclaimed:

- That's amazing!

Four women living next to each other were invited to a party.

They met to discuss what to wear. Eventually, they decided to choose outfits that matched their husband's hair color.

The first woman said:

- My husband's hair is red, so I'll wear red clothes.

The second woman said:

- I'll wear black because my husband's hair is naturally black.

The third woman said:

- Lucky for me, I like yellow, and my husband's hair is also yellow.

The fourth woman seemed confused and said nothing. One of the other women asked:

- What color do you like? Go ahead and tell us!

The fourth woman hesitantly replied:

- My husband is bald, what should I do...

A beautiful and alluring blonde invites a repairman to her house to fix the TV.

After the job is done, the girl pays him and whispers:

- I have an unusual proposal for you. But first, I need you to promise to keep this secret, especially from my husband!

The repairman immediately agrees, and they head to the bedroom, both feeling nervous and excited. As they approach the bed, she continues:

- My husband is a physically weak man and incapable in this matter. Right now, it’s just you and me. I’m a woman, you’re a man, and that’s a bed over there...

The blonde hesitates.

The repairman, now nervous and out of breath, exclaims: - Yes! This is amazing!

- I knew you were the right person the moment I saw you at the door.

- Yes, yes, yes...

- So, can you... help me carry this bed to the third floor?

- !?!

Three young men are all vying for the affection of a single girl.

The girl says:

– After you all travel around the world, I will give you my answer.

So, the first man embarks on a journey through Europe, then America.

The second man eagerly explores Asia and then heads to Australia.

The third man only circles around her and says:

– You are my world.

The girl, deeply moved, with tears in her eyes, finally decides to choose the man who is... the wealthiest of the three.

The wife visits her husband who is in prison, and she asks:

– Are you doing okay? I’m sure there are many things here that are unfamiliar and inconvenient for you.

– Don't worry, it’s just like being at home! – the husband replies.

The wife is confused:

– How is it the same?

The husband sighs:

– I work hard, but I can’t have any money, I can’t go anywhere, and the food is terrible.

– !!!

After being scolded by his wife on March 8th, Tèo had no choice but to bite his lip and go out, only returning late in the evening still feeling upset.

He went to a bar and ordered just one drink. When he got home, Tèo pretended to be drunk and knocked loudly on the door. His wife opened it to help him in, and Tèo slapped her hard across the face, declaring:

– Who do you think you are to touch me? No one but my wife is allowed to get near me, do you hear me?

Instead of being angry, his wife smiled brightly. As Tèo lay in bed, he thought to himself: ‘Now that’s what I call sweet revenge on International Women's Day!’

With March 8th approaching, the wife waited, but her husband hadn't shown any sign of preparing for the gift exchange. One day, on her way passing by his office, she decided to stop by. Finding him absent, she helped herself to 5 million VND from the pocket of his vest that was draped over a chair, planning to buy a gift for herself. Later that evening, when she mentioned it to him, she noticed his unease. She thought to herself: – This guy really has a hidden stash. I took 5 million and he acts like it’s nothing. Meanwhile, the husband hurried into the bathroom, muttering: – I forgot to tell her I moved to a different office last week.

A week before March 8th, the wife suggested to her husband that he buy her a new car. The husband, without much thought, nodded in agreement. However, on March 8th, he changed his mind and gave her a beautiful diamond ring, claiming that its value was three times that of a car. The wife was overjoyed and proudly showed it off wherever she went. One day, someone finally asked him why he didn't buy the car as requested, and instead went for the expensive ring. The husband smiled and replied:
- In these times, it's really hard to find a fake car, my friend.

A young woman visited a doctor’s office, clearly worried, and said, - Doctor, I have a severe case of impotence. Can you help me? - Why do you think that? - I'm not really sure, to be honest. - So what are the symptoms? - Well, I just can’t seem to turn down any advances from guys. - ....