[ACE THE TEST] Giải đề IELTS Writing ngày 09/09/2023

IELTS Writing task 1

The table below shows the number of people who reported experiencing different types of mental health issues in a particular country in 2021. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Bước 1: Lập kế hoạch dàn ý

Đoạn tổng quan: Lo âu và trầm cảm là hai tình trạng sức khỏe phổ biến nhất, với lo âu có số lượng người mắc bệnh nhiều nhất, trong khi Rối loạn Trầm cảm Sau chấn thương (PTSD) có ít bệnh nhất được báo cáo.

Thân bài 1: Đối với các bệnh có số lượng ca mắc lớn hơn. Đã được ghi nhận rằng lo âu là loại bệnh chiếm ưu thế, ảnh hưởng đến đa số dân số của quốc gia (500.000 ca), trong khi trầm cảm, xếp thứ hai về sự phổ biến, ghi nhận 300.000 ca bệnh. Có gấp đôi người được ghi nhận đã trải qua các rối loạn tâm thần khác nhau và bệnh tự kỷ, với con số tương ứng là 100.000 và 50.000.

Thân bài 2: Về các bệnh có tỷ lệ mắc thấp hơn. Đã được chẩn đoán tự kỷ ở 20.000 người, so với 15.000 bệnh nhân mắc bệnh ăn uống. Cuối cùng, có một sự khác biệt là 5.000 trong số các trường hợp Rối loạn Ám ảnh Cưỡng chế và Rối loạn Trầm cảm Sau chấn thương (PTSD), lần lượt là 10.000 và 5.000.

Bước 2: Hoàn thành bài luận

The table illustrates the prevalence of various mental health issues among individuals in a specific country in 2021.

Overall, anxiety and depression were the two most common health conditions, with anxiety having the greatest number of people who contracted it, while Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) had the fewest reported instances.

As for diseases with a larger number of cases, it was recorded that anxiety was a predominant one, affecting an overwhelming majority of the country’s population (500.000 cases), while depression, which ranked second in terms of prevalence, received 300.000 cases of patients. In comparison, twice as many people were documented to have experienced other mental health disorders as bipolar disease, with respective figures being 100,000 and 50,000.

Regarding diseases with lower incidence rates, schizophrenia was identified in 20,000 individuals, as opposed to 15.000 patients, who were sufferers of eating disorders. Finally, a difference of 5,000 was witnessed in the incidents of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and  Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which were 10,000 and 5,000 respectively.

(180 từ) 

Bước 3: Mở rộng vốn từ vựng

GAP-FILLING EXERCISE

1. Many people ___________ anxiety and depression in their lifetime.
2. The___________ of COVID-19 in the city has been steadily increasing.
3. There was a serious traffic ___________ on the highway this morning.
4. The ___________ of smartphones in modern society is quite high.
5. Please make sure to carefully ___________ all the important details in the report.

Response: 

1. Contract
2. Incidence rate
3. Incident
4. Prevalence
5. Document

Step 4: Grammar Structure

Structure of Narrative Sentences:

• The table presents how many people were reported to have suffered from various kinds of mental health issues in a specific country in the year 2021.
• it was recorded that anxiety was a predominant one, affecting an overwhelming majority of the country’s population

Passive with verbs used in reporting or expressing opinions: Say, claim, report, show, think, believe, consider, expect, feel, hope, know, prove, understand…..

Cách 1: It + is/ was + said/ believed/ known + that + SV

Example:

• People believe that the weather is changing dramatically.
• → It is believed that the weather is changing dramatically.

Cách 2: Xảy ra 2 trường hợp:

2.1. Trường hợp 1: Động từ ở mệnh đề chính cùng thì với động từ ở mệnh đề tường thuật : chúng ta dùng ― to Vo .

E.g., They mentioned that he had served in the military. → He was mentioned to have served in the military.

2.2 Trường hợp 2: Động từ ở mệnh đề chính không cùng thì với động từ ở mệnh đề tường thuật, chúng ta dùng ― to have (+ been) + V3/ed cụ thể các thì như sau:

1. It is reported that many people are homeless after the floods.

→ Numerous individuals _________________________________________. 

2. People believe that the earth was the centre of the universe.→ The earth _________________________________________.

3. People say tortoises live longer than elephants.→ It is _________________________________________.

→ Tortoises ____________________________________

4. Many people believe that God created the world.

• A. It is believed that God to have created the world.
• B. God is believed to have been created the world.
• C. God is believed to create the world.
• D. God is believed to have created the world.

Response:

• 1. are reported to be homeless after the floods
• 2. is believed to have been the centre of the universe
• 3. said that tortoises live longer than elephants. are said to live longer than elephants.
• 4. D. 

IELTS Writing task 2

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

Step 1: Analyze the prompt 

• Từ khoá: should focus, academic success, passing examinations, skills, not be taught at school, learn these from family and friends 
• Câu hỏi: Đây là dạng “Opinion Essay”, yêu cầu người viết cần đưa ra quan điểm của mình về việc bạn đồng ý hay không đồng ý với nhận định được đưa ra. Ở đây Mytour sẽ theo hướng phản đối hoàn toàn nhé. 

Step 2: Plan your essay

Main idea: Oppose the viewpoint prioritizing academic success and higher scores over practical skills such as cooking, sewing, and woodworking in the curriculum.

Step 3: Complete the essay

Essay Example 1 (Band 6.0)

Some individuals believe that excelling academically and achieving high test scores is more crucial than acquiring practical skills such as cooking, sewing, and woodworking. They argue that these skills can be learned from family and friends rather than in educational institutions. I disagree with this viewpoint for two primary reasons.

Firstly, mastering skills like fashion design or carpentry can foster creativity and self-reliance in young learners. Acquiring these abilities encourages innovative thinking and problem-solving as they mature.

In a rapidly evolving world driven by technology and industry, creativity proves invaluable. Additionally, proficiency in practical skills like cooking, sewing, and woodworking promotes self-sufficiency, enabling individuals to manage household tasks independently and face life's challenges with confidence.

Another rationale for integrating practical skills into education is their potential to enhance employability. For instance, proficiency in woodworking opens doors to careers in carpentry or craftsmanship, while culinary skills can lead to opportunities in restaurants and hotels.

In certain nations, such as Vietnam, numerous graduates solely pursue academic disciplines and encounter difficulties securing employment, despite their strong educational background. Therefore, it is beneficial for educational institutions to incorporate practical skills into their curriculum. This approach helps utilize the talents of students effectively and expands their career prospects.

To summarize, educational institutions should not exclusively prioritize academic subjects but should also impart essential life skills. A comprehensive education enables students to excel academically while gaining proficiency in practical tasks. This fosters creativity, independence, and introduces diverse career opportunities they may not have otherwise considered.

Example Essay (Band 8.0)

There is an opinion that academic achievement and success in examinations ought to be given precedence over practical skills, including culinary one, dressmaking and woodwork, which are believed to be excluded from the curriculum and better learnt from family and friends. Personally, there are two main reasonable grounds for my disagreement on this school of thought.

Firstly, subjects such as designing clothes and wooden objects allow students, especially those at a young age, to develop their creativity and independence. Regarding the former, having to come up with new ideas on a regular basis would help students grow into dynamic and individual thinkers when they reach their adulthood.

Given an ever-changing society in which technology and industries continue to evolve, creative individuals are at an advantage because of their ability to think in an unconventional way and approach problems with fresh perspectives. In terms of the latter, the ability to cook, sew or work with wood enhances students’ self-sufficiency, which means that they are able to prepare meals or maintain their homes without needing others’ help. Such skills potentially contribute to their sense of self-reliance and enable them to navigate daily life’s challenges with confidence.

Another reason for the inclusion of soft skills into the curriculum is that they can lead to increased employment opportunities. For instance, vocational courses such as woodwork can enable learners to embark on a career in carpentry or crafting, whereas culinary skills can pave the way for careers in the hospitality industry.

In some countries such as in Vietnam, given the annual influx of graduates into the job market, many of whom are holding a bachelor degree focusing only on academic subjects and are still facing unemployment, the usefulness of a sole emphasis on academic success is questionable at best. It is, therefore, plausible to say that it is necessary for schools to incorporate vocational training schemes, so as to avoid a potential waste of human resources and opening the door to a diverse range of career choices.

In conclusion, academic subjects should not be taught to the detriment of practical life skills. A comprehensive education system should offer students the opportunities not only to excel academically, but also to get access to a variety of life skills, so that important attributes of any individual such as creativity and independence could be fostered, and students can explore potential career paths that they might not have considered otherwise.

(395 words) 

Step 4: Vocabulary

Complete the sentences

• 1. In this debate, practical skills should ___ ___ ___ academic achievements.
• 2. Some students feel ___ ___ from the traditional classroom setting.
• 3. The main ___ for his decision was financial stability.
• 4. When you ___ ___ you are expected to take on more responsibilities.
• 5. Her ___ approach to problem-solving always surprised her colleagues.
• 6. Learning self-sufficiency and a ___ ___ ___ is essential for young adults.
• 7. He needed to ___ ___ ___ in the complex world of business.
• 8. Learning about trade can ___ ___ ___ a successful career in that field.
• 9. Many countries have implemented ___ ___ ___ to provide job training.
• 10. He pursued this career  ___ ___ ___ of his health. 

Solutions:

• 1. be given precedence over
• 2. excluded from
• 3. ground
• 4. reach adulthood
• 5. unconventional
• 6. sense of self-reliance
• 7. navigate challenges
• 8. pave the way for
• 9. vocational training schemes
• 10. to the detriment of

Step 5: Grammar Structure

In some countries such as in Vietnam, given the annual influx of graduates into the job market, many of whom are holding a bachelor degree focusing only on academic subjects and are still facing unemployment, the usefulness of a sole emphasis on academic success is questionable at best.

• “Given”:
  • Trong trường hợp này, “given” được sử dụng để biểu thị một điều kiện, tình huống, hoặc lý do được xem xét khi đưa ra một quan điểm hoặc một khẳng định.
  • Nó cung cấp thông tin bổ sung để giúp hiểu rõ hơn về tình hình hoặc lý do mà câu nói đề cập đến.
  • Trong câu này, “given the annual influx of graduates into the job market” có nghĩa là với sự gia nhập hàng năm của các tân cử nhân vào thị trường lao động, đây là một điều kiện hoặc tình huống mà người viết muốn nhấn mạnh và xem xét khi đánh giá tình hình việc làm và giáo dục.
• “Many of whom”:
  • “Many of whom” được sử dụng để xác định và đề cập đến một phần trong một nhóm lớn.
  • Trong câu này, “many of whom are holding a bachelor degree focusing only on academic subjects and are still facing unemployment” có nghĩa là trong số nhiều người tốt nghiệp, một phần trong số họ đã đạt bằng cử nhân tập trung chỉ vào các môn học học thuật và vẫn đang đối mặt với tình trạng thất nghiệp. “Many of whom” giúp tạo ra một sự chú ý đặc biệt đến một nhóm cụ thể trong số những người tốt nghiệp này và mô tả tình hình của họ.

Rewrite Sentences

a) Due to the tight schedule, they had to

work extra hours to meet the deadline.

→ Given the adverse weather conditions, they had to work overtime to meet the deadline.

b) Due to the rainy weather, the outdoor event was canceled.

→ Given the inclement weather, the outdoor event was canceled.

c) The class consisted of 30 students, many of whom were interested in science.

→ There were 30 students in the class, many of whom ________________________.

d) The library houses a variety of books, many of which are classics.

→ In the library, there is a diverse selection of books, many _____________________________.

Response:

1. The tight schedule
2. The rainy weather
3. Of whom were interested in science
4. Of which are classics