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Everything started on a beautiful morning, with the weather being pleasant.
I, a 20-year-old youth, rode my worn-out Wave motorcycle straight from District 8 to District 2 for the real estate brokerage job that I found at the recent Job Fair at university.
Just like every day, I woke up with a mix of feelings - emptiness and chaos.
Do I really like this job? Does it help me achieve what I want? Well, let's do it anyway. At least I'll gain more experience, right? Let's give it a try, maybe luck will be on my side? Oh, if I can close deals on 2 or 3 plots of land, I'll have some money saved up, at least then I'll feel safer. Maybe, by then, I'll...
The alarm clock rang at 7:15 AM.
Rushing to get up and find the most 'office-like' outfit I've ever owned. Along the way, questions kept repeating in my head. Each time they repeated, I felt increasingly hopeless.
In moments like this, I recall the advice of successful people, those who've gone before me, roughly like:
'You have to overcome fear, want what you don't have, and do what you've never done.' Or the heartfelt words from my girlfriend last night:
'I don't like guys with weak inner strength, wanting to quit before even trying, try your best, and if it doesn't work out, then stop.'
But perhaps, that's not enough!
The alarm clock has struck 7:45 AM.
I silently think: there's only 15 minutes left until work, I have to make the most of it.
And then traffic jam, I remind myself there's still a chance to turn around.
Three, two, one! It's 8 o'clock now, well, I'm already late, might as well 'turn around'.
Turning around, a method I often use to avoid problems and escape fear.
Turning around, a way I delude myself into thinking I can find a better path.
Turning around, surrendering to psychological challenges.
Turning around, it's denying one's own capabilities.
And turning around, it's closing an untold future and opening up another uncertain reality.
The feeling of turning around isn't bad, despite some regret, but it's not the first time anyway.
As I write this, I certainly won't blame circumstances, won't blame family and society. It's just a moment of experiencing youthful impulsiveness, not understanding oneself, and potentially becoming a burden to society in the future, but also capable of finding what belongs to oneself, and capable of becoming wealthy in many other ways. The mindset of 'lost souls' is like that, always deluding themselves that they can do better, deserve better, without really trying in the present.
Is it really like that, the things I doubted myself? If I'm not as bad as I thought, because in reality, everything is just happening in my own thoughts and illusions.
Writing for youth, writing for mistakes, writing for my efforts to move forward and then being thwarted, but also writing so that someday I can look back and say: I was once naive and impulsive like that.
Chúc mọi người luôn yên bình, bình an và hưởng thụ cuộc sống một cách trọn vẹn và thú vị nhất.
