Buzz
I love sharing meals with others passionately, but I am equally a dedicated and unapologetic solo diner. Many articles about this topic suggest that the primary concern for solo diners is social anxiety, embarrassment, and shame. As someone who has never experienced the latter, I feel uniquely qualified to tell you that no one is judging you for dining alone, and the staff isn't pitying you either. Remember, restaurants are businesses that want your money, and a single diner’s payment is still valid. However, I’ve developed a few strategies to ensure the best solo dining experience possible.
Avoid bringing a book
A lot of articles recommend bringing a book to keep you company, but I find it somewhat disrespectful. It suggests that you aren’t good company for yourself, which is far from the truth. Reading while eating is also not ideal, both practically and philosophically. Just try to cut a pork chop while holding a book! It’s impossible! Meals and books are meant to be fully immersive experiences on their own, and combining them results in two average experiences rather than one wonderful one. And let’s not forget, getting food on a non-cookbook book is just plain gross.
Order the tasting menu
When dining alone, it's easy to feel the urge to shrink or be less noticeable. This often translates into choosing small, unobtrusive dishes that won’t draw attention to you or, heaven forbid, the fact that you're dining solo. I say, forget that. Go for the tasting menu instead.
A tasting menu can be a fun group activity—it's enjoyable to discuss each dish and debate your favorites, but honestly, savoring the food without commentary is even better. (This is also why I could never be a restaurant critic; overthinking kills the enjoyment of any experience.) Tasting menus are like art—often expensive art—and sometimes art is best appreciated without distractions.
If your restaurant doesn’t offer a tasting menu, no worries—just order an appetizer with your meal, plus whatever soup or salad catches your eye. Appetizers are clearly not meant for sharing; if they were, restaurants would serve them with an equal number of items. Don’t stress about ordering ‘too much.’ The worst that could happen is having leftovers.
Sit at the bar
The bar is the perfect spot for a solo meal. It’s easy to grab the server's attention, your drink will always be topped off, and you can easily get pairing suggestions. Sometimes—and I can’t promise it—it’s possible the bartender might offer you a taste of something interesting, a drink they accidentally made, or the last bit of a bottle that’s not enough for a full pour. Sometimes they’ll chat with you, but never too much, since they are at work.
However, don’t expect the bartender to be your date. A little conversation is fine, but let them steer the chat, as—remember—they are working. Also, if they seem to be flirting and you feel the urge to reciprocate, remember that being friendly is part of their job, so it’s best to not act on that impulse.
Relish in the joy of eating alone
Even if sharing food is one of your favorite things, there’s something refreshing about having a dish that’s yours and only yours. With more restaurants shifting to “family style” and “shared plates,” having an entire meal to yourself without interruptions or—ugh—portioning feels liberating. This is especially true for dessert. Sharing a dessert is highly overrated.
