Buzz
The question of whether to kiss or not on a first date can be tricky. With so many different opinions and dating advice flooding the internet, it’s difficult to know if going for a kiss is the right move. Will your date be let down if you don’t kiss them? We’re here to provide clarity on whether guys expect a kiss at the end of the first date.
This article is based on an interview with Maya Diamond, MA, a dating and relationship expert. Check out the full interview here.
Steps
Is a kiss the typical conclusion to a first date?
No, in fact, about half of all first dates don't end with a kiss. Around 53% of first dates actually result in a kiss. A kiss should only happen if both of you are ready and willing. If a guy is genuinely interested, he’ll respect your pace and wait for the right moment.
- If a guy gets frustrated or upset waiting for a kiss, it signals a lack of respect for your boundaries.
If you've known each other for a while, a kiss might be expected. If you're going on a date with a friend or someone you've met through mutual connections, it’s likely that you’ll feel more at ease sharing a kiss. In such cases, your date may lean in for the kiss as the night comes to a close.
- However, you can still choose to wait. You can tell him, “I’m really looking forward to where this goes, but I’d prefer to wait for our first kiss.”
If you met online, it's normal to hold off on the first kiss. You may not feel ready to kiss someone you've just met online, and that’s completely understandable. A guy you’ve met online is still essentially a stranger, so don’t feel pressured into a kiss. Most likely, he’s used to taking things slow and waiting for a later date.
- If it makes you more comfortable, let him know early that you don’t kiss on the first date. You could say, “I’m really happy we could meet. Just to let you know, I don’t typically kiss on the first date. I hope that’s okay with you.”
Is it a good idea to kiss on the first date?
If it feels right, go for the kiss. A first kiss is a sweet, romantic way to wrap up a date, and it shows that you’re attracted to your date. A kiss can also help you both assess the chemistry between you as potential partners. If you’re both feeling the vibe, lean in and enjoy the moment.
- Don’t feel bound by any “social rules” when it comes to dating. It’s about what feels right for both of you.
EXPERT TIP
John Keegan
Relationship Expert
Relationship Expert
Don’t be afraid to take the lead. Toss out the old dating rules. A simple touch on the arm or a soft brush of the hand can spark chemistry. Always stay respectful and pay attention to how your date is responding. If they seem at ease, you can go ahead and explore a deeper connection.
What does kissing on a first date typically mean?
It often suggests both individuals are interested in a second date. People usually kiss only those they find attractive, so it's a good sign your date likes you! Take it as an encouraging sign that they want to see you again.
- If you're on a date with a friend, a kiss might indicate you're moving your relationship to a new stage.
- After the kiss, it's a great opportunity to bring up the idea of a second date. You could say, “I’d love to meet again. How about next weekend?”
Kissing can reveal if there’s chemistry between you. Sometimes, you don’t feel an instant spark on a first date. A first kiss could help you determine if there’s mutual attraction. Generally, you’re more likely to feel chemistry with someone you think is a great kisser.
- If you choose to kiss, it might help you decide if a second date is worth it. If there’s no chemistry, another date may not be necessary.
Men often don’t overanalyze the meaning of a kiss. Some guys don’t spend too much time thinking about dating dynamics. He probably isn’t focused on when the first kiss happens—he just wants to know if you had a fun time.
- If you’re not ready for a kiss, ease his mind by saying, “I had an amazing time tonight, and I’d love to see you again.”
Is it a problem if you don’t kiss on the first date?
No, there’s no issue with waiting for your first kiss. You should only kiss someone when you feel fully comfortable. It’s completely fine to wait until the third or fourth date for that first kiss. If you’re not ready, just be honest about it. You can say:
- “I’d love a kiss, but I’m just not ready yet.”
- “I prefer to go on a few dates before having a first kiss.”
- “This has been such a great night, but can we end with a hug?”
Sometimes, finding a spark takes time. You’ve probably experienced dates where the chemistry was immediate. On the other hand, you might have dates where you’re unsure about the connection. In those cases, you might decide to go on a second or third date before deciding if you want to kiss at all.
How do you make the first move for a kiss on a first date?
Use eye contact to signal your interest. Locking eyes with your date shows him you’re attracted to him, sparking chemistry between you both. If he returns your gaze with intensity, it’s a strong sign he might want to kiss you too.
- If he avoids your gaze, it could be a good idea to wait a little longer for that first kiss.
Lean in to show you’re open to a kiss. Once you’ve made eye contact, slightly angle your body toward your date. If he leans toward you in response, that’s a good sign he’s also interested.
- If he pulls back, don’t worry—it doesn’t mean he’s not into you. He may just need more time to feel comfortable.
Touch his thigh or cheek to build intimacy. Initiating a light touch is a signal that you’re ready to get closer. If he reacts positively, feel free to go in for the kiss—or he might take the lead if he senses your interest.
- Many guys prefer to initiate the first kiss, so he might make the move if he thinks you’re into it.
- If he pulls away from your touch, he might not be ready for a first kiss just yet.
What’s the best way to prepare for your first kiss?
Freshen your breath and use lip balm to feel prepared. First impressions matter, and the pressure can be nerve-wracking. Calm your nerves with a mint and smooth lip balm. You'll feel more at ease and ready to share a kiss.
- Always have mints, gum, or mouthwash with you on a first date. You don’t want to worry about garlic or onion breath.
Visualize yourself having a successful first kiss. Visualization is a great way to ease your nerves. Before going in for the kiss, imagine yourself leaning in, your lips meeting his, and enjoying the moment. Picture him smiling and saying it felt amazing. This mental preparation can help boost your confidence.
- Consider imagining different scenarios for your first kiss. For example, you might picture yourself making the move or think about him taking the lead.
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If you're planning to kiss, freshen up with a mint or gum for a more enjoyable experience.
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Don’t stress about dating rules. Go at your own pace, and everything will work out in its own time.
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Everyone has their own take on when to share a first kiss. Make sure to check in with your date to see how he feels about it.
