How to Apologize to Your Cat

Choose the right time to apologize. If your cat is visibly angry, you’ll need to wait a while before approaching to apologize; doing so too soon might result in scratches. However, try not to wait too long; approach your cat as soon as she seems calmer. You can also approach a frightened cat, but be cautious. Refer to the section on reading your cat’s body language in this article to gauge her mood.

• If your cat keeps running away from you, consider leaving a small piece of her favorite treat where she can find it. This will show your cat that you acknowledge your mistake and still care for her.
• Be cautious when approaching a scared cat. Always leave an escape route for her when she’s frightened. At this time, your cat needs comfort and reassurance, especially if there’s a sudden loud noise. However, she might also want to be alone, so providing an escape route is essential. A panicked cat cornered without an exit might unexpectedly become aggressive.

Identify what hurt your cat. What did you do to upset your feline friend? Did you tease her? Step on her tail? Or take her favorite spot on the sofa? Understanding your mistake can help you decide how to approach and apologize to her. Here are some examples of situations where you might have hurt your cat and actions you can take to show you’re sorry:

• If you teased your cat, consider offering her a treat and some praise.
• If you accidentally stepped on her tail or startled her by dropping a pan, a gentle petting session might suffice.
• If you took her favorite spot on the sofa, move aside and offer her something she loves.

Approach your cat slowly. If your cat runs away, she might still be angry, confused, or scared. Don’t chase her; instead, wait a few minutes before trying again. This will reassure her that you mean no harm and won’t disturb her further. You can also comfort her by being ready to offer a tasty treat.

Talk to your cat. Say “I’m sorry” to your cat. You can even call her by name. Speak in a soft, calm voice, slightly higher-pitched than usual. Your cat may not understand your words, but she’ll understand your tone. Avoid speaking loudly or harshly; cats have sensitive hearing, and you might irritate her.

• Try slow blinking. A trusting cat often blinks slowly. You can show your cat that you trust her by slowly blinking back.

Gently pet your cat in her favorite spots. Pay attention to her mood; avoid petting her if she seems angry or irritable. Refer to the section on reading your cat’s body language in this article to determine her mood. If you’re unsure where your cat likes to be petted, here are some suggestions:

• Scratch behind her ears. An even better spot is the area between her eyes and ears. Gently stroke the soft fur there with your fingertips.
• Scratch under her chin and along her cheeks. Your cat might forgive you and even start rubbing against your hand.
• Scratch the base of her tail. Place your fingers at the base of her tail, where it meets her back, and wiggle your fingers gently, scratching lightly with your fingertips.
• Pet her head, back, and chest. However, remember that not all cats enjoy being petted in these areas. Observe her body language closely for signs of discomfort.

Play with your cat. Your cat might be upset because you haven’t spent enough time with her. If your cat is energetic, engage her in playtime – though most cats enjoy a game of chasing a string. Here are some games to try:

• Toss a crinkled piece of paper or a small ball toward your cat. You can also use a toy mouse, but avoid throwing it directly at her; aim for a spot just in front of her paws.
• Wave a string in front of her. Gently wiggle it back and forth, moving it closer and farther away. You can even sweep it across her paws.
• Use a laser pointer to create a dot on the wall or floor. When your cat notices the red dot, move the pointer around. She’ll likely chase the dot as it moves.
• Use a “cat fishing rod” toy. This toy is a long, flexible stick with feathers or a string attached to the end. Some even have bells. Hold one end of the stick and wiggle the decorated end near her paws. Gently flick the stick upward – your cat might jump to catch the toy.

Show more care for your cat. If you’ve been neglecting your feline friend lately, you might notice she’s less affectionate than usual. This could mean your cat is feeling sad and lonely. You can apologize by spending more time with her. This could be as simple as sitting beside her while reading a book or listening to music, or giving her a long, gentle petting session. You could also set aside some time to play with her.

Praise and reward your cat. If you teased or laughed at your cat, she might feel hurt. Offer her a tasty treat and compliment her on how beautiful and wonderful she is. Speak in a soft, gentle tone. While your cat may not understand your words, she’ll recognize the soothing tone of your voice.

Give your cat what she wants, within reason. Cats can become irritable if they don’t get their way. Sometimes what they want is simple and harmless – like sitting on a soft, cozy pillow. Other times, their desires might not be good for them, such as wanting a bite of your food. Some human foods can be harmful to cats. If your cat wants something harmless, you can indulge her. If her request could be dangerous, offer her a safe alternative instead.

• If your cat wants to sit on the soft pillow on the sofa, let her. You can even pick her up and place her there. Give her a gentle pet to reassure her.
• If your cat asks for milk or tuna, offer her something else. Milk or cream can upset her stomach, and tuna can be harmful in large amounts due to its high mercury content. Look for a cat-specific treat instead.

Reward your cat with her favorite treat. If your cat seems to be in a better mood, you can reward her directly. Place a few pieces of her favorite food in your palm and sit near her. If she’s ready to forgive you, she’ll come over and eat from your hand. You can then pet her behind the ears (or other favorite spots). If she doesn’t approach, place the treat on the floor and step back. Don’t take the treat away – this will only disappoint her.

• Cat treats come in various textures: soft and chewy, hard and crunchy, crunchy outside with a soft center, jerky-style, and freeze-dried options. You can find tuna-flavored treats in the cat food aisle at pet stores.
• Cat treats also come in a variety of flavors, including chicken, turkey, tuna, and salmon. You can even find treats with catnip flavoring.
• Consider buying treats that benefit your cat’s health. Look for options that help prevent hairballs or support digestion. This way, you’ll not only make your cat happy but also keep her healthy.

Leave a surprise treat for your cat. Make sure to place it where your cat can easily find it. Here are some suggestions:

• If your cat is hiding under the bed, try placing the treat near the edge. Avoid placing it too far under the bed, as your cat might feel unsafe venturing out. Also, avoid reaching too far under the bed to prevent getting scratched.
• If your cat seems agitated, place the treat near her food bowl or favorite spot. If you upset her by taking her spot, leave the treat there to show you’re sorry and that she can reclaim her favorite place without being disturbed.

Add a special treat to your cat’s regular food. Sprinkle a few pieces of her favorite treat on top of her usual meal. If your cat is picky and doesn’t like them mixed, serve the treats in a separate dish next to her food bowl.

Treat your cat to a special meal. Does your cat have a favorite flavor? If you feed her different flavors, choose the one she loves most and serve it during mealtime.

Offer your cat some dried catnip. If your cat is overly excited, you can calm her down by sprinkling a bit of catnip on the floor. If you’d rather avoid the mess (some cats eat catnip, while others just play with it), consider giving her a catnip toy instead.

Give your cat a new toy. If your cat enjoys toys, surprise her with a new one. Approach her calmly, kneel down, and show her the toy. You can place it on the ground and step back or toss it gently, depending on how she likes to play. Keep in mind that not all cats, especially older ones, are interested in toys.

• You can also make a DIY catnip toy by cutting a small piece of fabric into a square, placing a teaspoon of dried catnip in the center, gathering the corners, and tying them securely with a string.
• Another option is to stuff a sock with some fabric and a teaspoon of catnip, then tie it closed.

Pay attention to your cat's body language. This will help you gauge her mood. If your cat is extremely angry or irritable, your apology might mean nothing to her, and you could even get swatted. This section will teach you how to read your cat's body language to know when it's safe to approach her.

Observe your cat's tail. The tail is one of the most expressive parts of a cat's body and a key indicator of her mood. Unlike dogs, cats don’t wag their tails when happy. Here are some guidelines:

• If her tail is upright with a slight curve at the tip, your cat is likely happy, and it’s safe to approach her.
• If her tail is puffed up, she’s scared. You can approach her to comfort her, but do so slowly and leave her an escape route. A cornered cat might become aggressive.
• If her tail is tucked or thrashing, avoid approaching. Your cat is angry and possibly targeting you. Give her some time to calm down before apologizing.

Watch your cat's ears. A cat’s ears are also very expressive and can reveal her feelings. Generally, upright ears indicate happiness, while flattened ears suggest discomfort. Here are some detailed tips:

• Are her ears upright and relaxed? If so, you can approach and try to make amends.
• If her ears are flattened backward, avoid approaching. She’s very upset and angry. Give her some time to cool off.
• If her ears are pressed flat against her head and pointing backward, she’s likely scared. You can still approach her, but do so slowly and cautiously.

Notice your cat's eyes. A cat’s eyes react quickly to changes in light but also reflect her mood. When observing her eyes, consider the lighting and other body language cues. Here are some guidelines:

• If her pupils are dilated, she might be scared, but it could also be due to dim lighting.
• If her pupils are constricted, she might be angry or agitated, but it could also be due to bright light in the room.

Look at your cat's face. Are her whiskers flared, teeth bared, and nose wrinkled? If so, your cat is still angry, and it’s likely not the right time to approach her for comfort. Wait a while before trying again.

Observe your cat's body and fur. Is her fur puffed up? If so, she might be scared or agitated. Is her fur lying flat against her body? This means she’s more relaxed. However, pay attention to other body language cues to better understand her mood.

Pay attention to your cat's claws. If you see her claws extended, be very cautious. Cats react quickly, and she might be preparing to attack.

• You can try different approaches. Some cats may not enjoy playing but love attention and affection. Others might only forgive you when you offer them food.
• Remember what upset your cat to avoid repeating the same mistake.
• Give your cat time to relax and avoid rushing her. If your cat is angry or scared and won’t let you near her, wait until she calms down.

• Never hit, yell at, or punish your cat for ignoring you. This won’t help and will only make her mood worse.
• Avoid using human food from the pantry or fridge as a reward for your cat. Human food is often unhealthy for cats.
• Observe your cat’s body language. If she seems angry, avoid touching her, or you might get scratched.