How to Demonstrate Empathy

Demonstrating empathy is one of the most crucial skills you can learn in life. The ability to understand and empathize with others helps you connect with those around you. Some people naturally possess this ability, but for others, it can be a challenge. Fortunately, there are numerous practical and specific ways you can begin showing empathy to those around you today. Refer to the following tips to put yourself in someone else's shoes and understand their emotions.

Check in with the people you meet. This could be the cashier at the grocery store, your neighbor, or someone you meet at the park while walking your dog. You don’t need to ask personal questions; simply inquiring how they’ve been lately can show that you care. Reaching out to strangers allows you to learn more about them and develop empathy.

• Talking with someone you're comfortable with is often easy. However, if you always converse with familiar faces, you may find it harder to empathize with people who are different from you.

Let them know you understand what they are going through. Or, if you don't fully understand or resonate with them, simply acknowledging that their emotions are real and valid can go a long way. You don’t need to agree with someone to validate their feelings, and this shows that you recognize they are human as well.

• For example, you might say, "I just want you to know that it's completely normal for you to feel angry right now. Everyone handles frustration differently, and you're entitled to feel the way you do."
• Or, "It's understandable that you're upset with what your boss said. I’d probably be furious too in that situation."

This will help you empathize and connect better. When talking to someone new, try to identify two or three things you have in common. For example, you might both have grown up in the same city, be the same age, or have gone through similar life stages. You may be surprised by how much you share with those around you.

• Showing interest in others' lives is another way to express empathy in everyday life.

This shows that you care about what they’re saying. Try to listen attentively to others by eliminating distractions and making eye contact. You can also paraphrase what they’ve said in your own words to make sure you’ve truly understood. Focus on what the other person is saying, rather than thinking about what you’ll say next.

• For example, if a friend talks about a tough time they’re going through, you could say, "It sounds like you've been feeling down and discouraged lately. I’m really sorry to hear that."
• Or, if a family member talks about their job, you might say, "It seems like you're really stressed out. I didn’t realize your job was taking such a toll on you."

This helps you understand their behavior better. If you find it hard to connect with someone, try putting yourself in their shoes and consider their emotions. If you can empathize in this way, you’ll feel closer to them and be better able to manage your emotions when reacting to their actions.

• For instance, if your child cheats on a math test, you might empathize with them by thinking about how they did it out of fear of receiving a bad grade.

Get a better understanding of others by experiencing their life for a day. You might try practicing their religion while they practice yours for a month. Or, you could spend time meeting with homeless individuals to learn about their everyday lives. Show empathy for those around you by genuinely caring about their lives instead of just passing them by on the street.

• You could also participate in charitable activities at a soup kitchen or in a remote, underserved area.

Your body language reveals a lot about your thoughts. Along with verbally expressing understanding, you should also reflect this through gestures. When engaging in conversation with someone, aim to sit up straight and avoid crossing your arms. Look into the other person's eyes and relax your facial expression to avoid appearing angry or sad. Open your palms to let others know you're receptive to new information.

• An open body language makes you appear more approachable.

A gentle touch can have a significant impact. When comforting someone who feels down, lightly touch their shoulder or hand. If you're close to them, you may also hug them. However, their consent is crucial, so be sure to ask first if you're not very familiar with them.

• For instance, you could say: “You seem like you need a hug. May I hug you?”
• Or, “Would it be alright if I tap your shoulder?”

Don't hesitate to express your desire to make someone else's life easier. You can assist with small acts like holding the door for someone, or take on bigger tasks like helping set up a computer for an elderly person. When you open your arms to offer help, it shows that you understand what they are going through, and they will appreciate your support.

• Even simply saying that you're available to help is an act of empathy. Let a friend know that they can always come to you when they need something to show you're ready to offer help and support.

Contribute to achieving a common goal. Research shows that collaborating with those who are different from you can help you develop empathy and compassion for others. You can volunteer for a charity, a church, a political organization, or a support group.

• Connecting with new people is also a great way to learn how to show empathy. Who knows, you might even make new friends!

Quick judgments can lead to unfair evaluations of others. Instead, take the time to understand someone before making assumptions about them. When you learn about their circumstances, you'll be able to view things from their perspective rather than passing judgment.

• For example, you meet someone who doesn't seem friendly. It could be that they struggle with social anxiety and feel awkward when meeting new people. As you get to know them, they may open up and explain that they often feel nervous in social situations.

Show empathy by not tolerating injustice. You can donate money to causes you care about or get involved in organizations. If you witness someone being bullied or disrespected, intervene and offer your help. Put yourself in their shoes and let them know you're always ready to assist.

• For instance, if someone makes an inappropriate joke at another person's expense, you could say: “What you just said was hurtful.”
• Or, if someone interrupts another person and takes over the conversation, you could say, “I think she's not finished speaking. Let her finish, and then you can talk right after.”

• Don't get discouraged if you're not great at it the first few times. Like anything else, to express empathy effectively, you need to practice regularly until it becomes second nature.