How to Feel at Ease Around That Special Someone

Remember that your special someone might be feeling just as nervous as you are. It's common for anyone to feel nervous around their crush, and you're not alone in this! Sometimes, people appear calm and confident, but inside, they're just as nervous. Even if your crush seems effortlessly cool and self-assured, they could be feeling the same butterflies about spending time with you.

Consider that your crush might find your nervousness charming. Everyone has unique preferences and attractions. While some are drawn to confident, outgoing personalities, others might find shy or nervous traits appealing.

• It's completely okay to admit that you're nervous because it opens up the opportunity for your special someone to share the same feelings. You could even mention that your nerves stem from something positive, like how good-looking your crush is or how much you like them. This reassures your crush that your nervousness comes from a good place, not from disliking them or feeling uncomfortable.

Turn an awkward moment into a lighthearted one. If something awkward or embarrassing happens, like stumbling over your words or spilling a drink, ease the tension by keeping it light. Make a joke or laugh at yourself.

• If your crush is the one who says or does something awkward, be kind and don’t laugh at them. Smile and offer comforting words like, “That happens to everyone!” or “I did the same thing just yesterday! It's no big deal.”

Treat your special someone like an ordinary person. It's easy to elevate your crush and put them on a pedestal, but stepping back and reminding yourself that they're just a regular person can help ease your nerves.

• Be polite, considerate, and kind to your crush, but there's no need to put them on a pedestal. Treating them as someone “above” you adds unnecessary pressure to always act a certain way around them.

Be yourself when you're around your crush. It can be challenging, but the more you try to force yourself to behave in a particular way, the more unnatural it may appear. Take a deep breath and just be you. Your crush will see your behavior as genuine and charming, which may make them feel more comfortable to be themselves, too.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH US

What trait helps you feel at ease with someone?

Be true to yourself. A common misconception people have is that they must act like someone they're not to win someone's affection. Just be yourself when you're around your crush, and they will value you for who you truly are.

• Show your special someone the real you by talking about your hobbies and interests, sharing jokes you enjoy, telling them about your favorite music, and acting in ways that make you feel at ease.
• Never apologize for being yourself! If your crush doesn't appreciate who you are, you may need to reconsider whether they are the right person for you romantically.

Create a friendship with your crush. One of the best ways to feel more comfortable around someone you like is to first develop a friendship with them. As you get to know each other, focus on building trust and friendship, which will make you feel more at ease.

• You might want to try acting around your crush the same way you would with your friends. Treating them like a friend, and thinking of them as one, could help reduce any awkwardness and make things feel more natural.

SHARE YOUR OPINION WITH US

What aspect of building a friendship with your crush makes you most nervous?

Embrace confidence in your appearance. This is something many girls, in particular, struggle with—feeling the need to be perfect when around someone special. However, displaying confidence, even when you're not feeling your best, can help you relax in their presence.

• Choose clothes that feel comfortable. You don't always need to dress to impress; a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, or even sweatpants if you're just hanging out, works just fine. If you're going on a date, try to get a sense of the setting so you can dress appropriately but comfortably. This will help you feel more confident.
• Good hygiene also plays a huge role in your comfort and confidence. Make sure you're maintaining your personal hygiene regularly.

Embrace who you are. The most attractive trait in a person is often their ability to accept and be confident in who they are. Acknowledge your flaws, but accept them—they're part of you, and doing so will help you feel at ease, especially around your crush.

• Be kind and forgiving toward yourself when you do or say something awkward. Your crush will likely find it charming and won't think twice about it unless you make it a big deal.

Spend more quality time with your crush. A great way to feel more at ease with someone is simply to spend more time together. You could ask your special someone to hang out one-on-one or organize a group activity that includes your crush among other people.

• The more time you spend together, the more comfortable you'll become.
• Reader Poll: We asked 231 Mytour readers how they form deeper connections, and 58% of them agreed that the best way to strengthen a relationship is by spending quality time together in person. [Take Poll]

Ask your crush open-ended questions. Open-ended questions invite detailed responses, unlike yes/no questions. Learning more about your crush will help you discover common interests and feel more relaxed.

• “What do you love to do in your free time?”
• “What’s your most cherished memory from childhood?”
• “What’s the coolest place you’ve ever visited?”
• “What do you like most about your family?”
• “What kind of music do you enjoy the most?”
• “Where’s your favorite place to hang out?”
• “If money weren’t an issue, how would you spend your time? Why?”
• “Which animal would you be if you could choose? Why?”
• “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Why?”
• “Have you done much traveling? Where have you been?”
• “What’s your favorite hobby?”
• “What’s the strangest food you’ve ever tried?”

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK

What kind of questions do you think are most useful for getting to know someone?

Be truthful about who you are. It's essential to be honest because pretending to be someone you're not will eventually cause problems. Your crush will eventually discover the truth, and it could jeopardize any potential relationship with them.

• Honesty fosters trust. Imagine how you would feel if your crush were to lie to you.

Suggest shared activities that both of you enjoy. When spending time together, propose activities that interest both of you, making the experience more enjoyable. If any awkward pauses arise, having something fun to do will help break the ice.

• Hang out with a group of mutual friends.
• Attend a live band performance or a concert.
• Play board or video games that you both enjoy.
• Have a movie marathon with films you both like.

• Be kind to your crush. It helps build trust and comfort, creating a solid foundation for your relationship. If they do or say something embarrassing, approach it kindly and avoid making them feel humiliated. Respect will always be repaid!
• Don't take things too seriously—tease your crush in a light, playful way and showcase your great sense of humor.

• Never engage in a relationship with someone who pressures you into doing things you're uncomfortable with. Such situations can place you in risky and frightening circumstances.