Buzz
Asking a girl to be your girlfriend can feel overwhelming, and you may find yourself wondering what steps you can take to make her genuinely interested in you. Capture her attention by complimenting her, learning about her passions, and simply being authentic. When you're ready to ask her to be your girlfriend, there are many ways to approach the question. No matter her response, whether it's yes or no, respect her decision and feel proud for having the courage to ask.
Steps to Follow
How to Capture Her Interest?
Maintain good personal hygiene and appearance. This is a straightforward way to make yourself more appealing to the girl. Take regular showers so your body and hair smell fresh, and dress in clothes that make you feel confident and attractive.
- Small touches, like combing your hair or choosing a nice outfit, are more likely to grab her attention.
Maintain eye contact to grab her attention. When you notice her gazing at you, try to hold eye contact for a few seconds, then smile and look away. This signals your interest and makes her more likely to be drawn to you.
- When conversing with her, focus on her eyes to create a deeper connection.
- Avoid staring by limiting eye contact to no more than 3 seconds.
Use positive body language to show you're focused on her. Simply standing or sitting close to her and positioning your body toward hers can signal your interest. Smile often and observe her physical cues to see if she shares the same feelings.
- Stand or sit upright to project good posture.
- Avoid crossing your arms to appear more open and friendly.
Note: If she reciprocates your interest, she might move closer to you, play with her hair, smile more, or even nibble on her lip.
Give her compliments to subtly show your interest. Be sincere with your compliments, focusing on her personality and qualities, not just her looks. For example, you might tell her you admire her character, the way she treats others, or her skills at work or school.
- Praise her abilities in sports or her artistic talents.
- Say something like, “You have an amazing smile,” or “You always know how to make me laugh.”
Make her laugh to reveal your playful side. Share a funny story, tell a joke, or lightly tease her to bring out her laughter. Making her laugh will help her feel more at ease around you and increase her attraction to you.
- Share a funny childhood story from your past.
- Playfully tease her about something lighthearted, like her stuffed animal collection or quirky habits.
Use gentle touches or a hug to signal you're comfortable around her. Lightly touch her arm, offer a hug when greeting or parting ways, or place your arm around her shoulders when you're close. Small touches are an easy way to show interest without seeming pushy.
- Lightly hold her hand when walking together.
- Touch her shoulder during conversation, or gently squeeze her knee when sitting beside her.
- However, refrain from physical contact if you're just getting to know her. You don't want to come off as too forward with someone you've only just met.
Exude confidence by being authentic. Don't pretend to be someone you're not just to attract a girl. Genuine confidence is appealing, so she'll be more likely to be drawn to you if you're true to yourself.
- Don't take yourself too seriously, and don't shy away from laughing at yourself.
- If you're comfortable with who you are, she'll notice that and feel more at ease around you.
- Always aim to be honest and sincere when talking to girls.
How to Build a Connection?
Talk to her regularly to deepen your connection. Whether it’s through text, face-to-face, social media, or written notes, frequent communication will help you get to know each other better and show that you’re thinking about her.
- Send a simple text like, “Hope you're having a wonderful day!” or “Got any plans for the weekend?”
- Leave a note in her bag or notebook for her to find later on.
Tip: Don't overwhelm her with constant texts. A few messages throughout the day is fine, but if she’s not responding, it’s best to dial it back.
Ask her questions about herself to demonstrate your interest. Not only will this help you learn more about her, but she'll also appreciate that you're putting in the effort. Inquire about her school or work, her family, and her passions.
- Ask her about her weekend plans, favorite TV shows, or favorite dining spots.
- If the conversation flows naturally, she may even ask you questions in return, showing that she's interested in learning more about you too.
Strengthen your connection by discovering common interests. You might both share a love for sports, be studying the same subject, or have a passion for community service. Sharing hobbies or common ground will enhance your relationship and give you ideas for things to enjoy together.
- If you're both fans of nature, consider going on a hike or a walk on a nice day.
- Maybe you both enjoy reading, watching horror films, or playing board games.
Remember the small details she's shared with you. When she speaks, make sure you're listening carefully. Bring up things she's mentioned before, such as activities she enjoys, places she'd like to visit, or her favorite foods.
- If she once mentioned her love for chocolate, surprise her with a candy bar the next time you hang out.
- Take her to a place she likes, such as a park or store, or play her favorite music when you're in the car.
- Consider sending her a text like, “I remember you saying you were worried about your big test today. Good luck!”
Take her on special dates to show you care. Whether it's preparing a special meal, planning a day trip, or simply offering a thoughtful gesture like bringing her supplies when she's unwell, investing time and thought into your plans shows her how much you appreciate her.
- Take her bowling, to a movie, or to mini-golf for fun.
- Arrange a picnic for the two of you, either in a park or your backyard.
- Ask her what her ideal date looks like and see if you can make it happen.
Express how you feel about her. Telling her how you feel makes your intentions clear when you're ready to ask her to be your girlfriend. Share your emotions with her either casually or through a more dramatic gesture. Ask her about her feelings towards you as well, if you'd like.
- You could tell her, “I really like you and want to keep getting to know you better.”
- Share your feelings during a romantic dinner or while on a scenic walk.
- If you open up to her and she doesn’t feel the same way, be respectful of her feelings.
- It's best to express your feelings in person rather than over text. This will make the moment much more meaningful for both of you.
How to Ask Her to Be Your Girlfriend?
Ask her in person if you can. It's better to ask the girl to be your girlfriend face-to-face rather than over text or social media, as it makes the moment more personal, and you'll be able to see her true reaction. Though it can be nerve-wracking, she'll admire your courage and the effort you put into asking her directly.
- Try rehearsing the question in front of a mirror if you're feeling anxious.
- There's no need to make it a big event—just casually ask her and transition to another topic afterwards.
Add a personal touch if you're asking over text. Keep it simple, such as texting, "Will you be my girlfriend?" and follow up with a cute emoji, GIF, or picture. You can also express your feelings by telling her what you admire about her in the text.
- For example, you could send, "I've had a crush on you ever since you first smiled at me—will you be my girlfriend?"
- However, asking over text isn't ideal, as it's always better to do it in person.
Be direct and ask her the question clearly. If you prefer to ask without making a big deal out of it, find a quiet moment and simply ask, “Would you like to be my girlfriend?” or something along those lines. Many girls appreciate directness, and this approach allows you to show your intentions in a respectful and polite manner.
Tip: It's a great idea to ask her when you're taking a walk, having dinner, or just enjoying some quality time together.
Write her a letter to ask her romantically. If you're feeling too nervous to ask her out loud or you want to put your feelings into more depth, a letter is a sweet and thoughtful way to ask her to be your girlfriend. Pour your heart out, and include the question, "Will you be my girlfriend?" towards the end.
- Feel free to make the letter as short or long as you'd like—it could even be a simple note with a kind message and the big question.
- Write about the moments you’ve enjoyed together, the qualities you adore in her, or how she makes you feel special.
- Once you've written it, you can either hand it to her to read in front of you, or give it to her to read privately later.
Bring up the question casually to ask her without pressure. If you don’t want to directly ask if she'll be your girlfriend, try asking indirectly to get the same answer. For instance, you could ask, “When I introduce you to people, should I call you my friend or my girlfriend?”
- Another way is to ask, “What do you tell your friends about us?” and then follow up by saying, “Would it be okay if I called you my girlfriend?”
- You might also invite her to an event and subtly show that you want something more serious by referring to her as more than just your date.
Give her a compliment before asking to set the mood. Instead of diving straight into the question, take a moment to express what you love about her. This sets up a more natural conversation and lets her know that you genuinely want her to be your girlfriend.
- For example, you could say, “I love spending time with you. You're so smart and amazing. Would you be my girlfriend?”
- Compliment her on her kindness, her beautiful smile, or her sense of humor to make her feel even more special.
Ask her in a unique and creative way. Get creative with how you ask her by making a sign that says “Will you be my girlfriend?” or writing the question on something fun like a baked good. The more effort you put into it, the more she’ll appreciate the thought behind your gesture.
- If you’re musically inclined, consider writing her a short song asking her to be your girlfriend.
- Write the question in icing on a cake, or form the words with pizza toppings or candy.
- You could also spell out the question on the driveway using flowers or sidewalk chalk.
Respect her decision if she turns you down. If she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend, try not to take it personally. Take some time to process your emotions, and remember, there’s someone else out there for you.
- Allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling—whether it’s sadness, frustration, or disappointment.
- Spend some time outdoors or engage in physical activity to help clear your mind, or distract yourself with hobbies that you enjoy.
Join the Conversation...
I don’t really get how to get a girlfriend. Is it as simple as just asking a girl you like if she wants to be your girlfriend, or do you go on dates first? I feel embarrassed because I have no idea, and my friends say they take their girlfriends out, but I’m not sure. I’ve liked girls before, but never did anything about it. How does the whole process work? Where do you meet a girlfriend? What do you do with them that’s different from just kissing?
Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
If you're searching for a girlfriend, it's important to be proactive. Put yourself in situations where you can meet more people. Social events are great opportunities to interact with new faces, and the more exposure you get, the better. Online dating apps and social media can also be useful, especially for introverts, as they may find it easier to meet people this way. But, don't come across as too desperate. See it as an opportunity to meet people, and if you find someone special along the way, that’s a bonus!
Don’t feel embarrassed—everyone has to start somewhere. Honestly, a lot of people are in the same boat, struggling with finding a girlfriend, so you’re definitely not alone. A lot of people say "love will come when you're least expecting it," and while that might sound cliché, I think it’s a good idea to frame it as: "Instead of focusing on getting a girlfriend and feeling bad about not having one, I’ll channel my energy into growing as a person, focusing on my hobbies and goals, and staying open to the possibility of a relationship when it comes along."
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Check out the Discussion-
Don’t rush it—take your time and ask her to be your girlfriend when you've built a solid connection with each other.
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Use your best judgment to figure out if she likes you before making your move.
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Don't be too aggressive or overly soft. Strive for a balance of confidence and kindness to show you're caring and determined in your pursuit.
The advice shared here comes from the personal experiences of Mytour readers like you. If you have any tips to offer, feel free to submit them in the space below.
- To create a connection, share jokes, compliment her, and talk with her regularly so she can get to know you better. If you ask her out and she declines, don’t make things awkward or let it negatively affect your relationship. Stay cool and respectful of her decision.
- Don’t expect anything, and respect her response. If she says no, the worst-case scenario is that you’ve gained some experience and put yourself out there.
- As a girl, I appreciate laid-back guys who aren’t trying to be someone they’re not. Just relax around her; if you’re forcing it, she’ll notice!
- If you're too nervous to ask her outright, you could ask if she’d go on a date with someone else. If she says no, you can tell her that you feel the same way, making things official between the two of you.
- Although asking in person is ideal, texting or even Skype can also work! It makes it easier if she turns you down, as it’s less embarrassing.
- Don't be afraid to share your feelings! More often than not, the girl might already like you and be waiting for you to ask her out.
Warnings
- If she sets unreasonable expectations or constantly asks for gifts in exchange for being your friend, walk away. She’s only interested in herself and is trying to exploit you.
- Don’t rush things. Don’t ask her to be your girlfriend right after meeting. Give her some space and time.
- Make sure she isn’t already in a relationship. If she is, aim to be just friends.
- If her boyfriend is overly possessive or jealous, move on and forget about her.
