How to Move On from a Friendship That No Longer Works

Allow Yourself Time to Grieve. Losing a friend can be incredibly painful. Pretending it hasn’t happened or bottling up the sadness you feel may help momentarily, but eventually, it will make it harder to move on. Acknowledge that you’ve lost something important, and it's okay to feel sorrow over it.

• Don’t hesitate to cry. Crying can help release pent-up emotions.
• Listening to sad songs or watching sad movies may actually help lighten your heart. It reinforces the fact that you’re not alone in feeling this way and offers hope for a better future.

Delete Old Messages. Avoid holding on to texts or emails that make you want to revisit them. Constantly re-reading old correspondence will only prolong the feelings of loneliness and sorrow after a friendship ends.

• You can back up the messages to a USB drive and ask a friend or family member to hold onto them, with the hope that one day, you will no longer feel pain when revisiting the memories of when the friendship was still strong.

Unfriend or Unfollow Them on Social Media. Knowing what they are up to without you will only keep you stuck in the past instead of helping you move forward. You will recover faster and be more prepared to let go if you don't constantly see their posts on Facebook.

Remove Photos. You don’t necessarily have to throw them away, although you can if you choose. It’s important to eliminate any items that trigger memories of the past friendship, like gifts or souvenirs.

Write About Your Feelings. A great way to process emotions is to write them down. You might wonder what went wrong or feel angry at your friend. You can write a letter expressing all your emotions to them, but don’t send it. When you’re done, you can tear up the letter or keep it in a drawer. The goal of this is simply to process your feelings.

Don’t Blame Yourself. Try not to see the entire situation as a reflection of who you are as a person. There are many reasons a friendship ends. Even if you feel responsible for your friend not wanting to maintain the relationship, remember that all relationships are a 50/50 share between both parties involved. You cannot control the other person.

Visit a Therapist. If you're really struggling to move on, it might be difficult to handle your emotions on your own. A trained therapist can listen to your perspective on what happened and help you learn from your mistakes.

Call a Family Member. When friends become a source of pain, sometimes turning to family is the safest solution. If possible, try calling someone who has likely experienced a similar loss in the past. While any family member can provide great comfort, you may want to speak with parents or grandparents who have more life experience.

Seek Advice from Friends Who Don’t Know Your Ex-Friend. You can reach out to someone who isn't familiar with the person who no longer wants to be friends. They’ll listen to your feelings and offer a more objective perspective on the situation. Be sure to let them know how much you appreciate their support. Remember, even though you've lost one friend, you still have others.

Be Cautious with Mutual Friends. Friends that you both know may not be the best people to turn to when you're processing the loss of a friendship. You risk alienating yourself if you’re perceived as trying to divide people into sides. However, you can still reach out to them when you need companionship. This serves as a reminder that there are still many people who care about you.

• Avoid bringing up the person who no longer wishes to meet you.
• Try to focus on the common ground between you and your current friends.

Do Not Speak Ill of Your Ex-Friend. It’s understandable to feel heartbroken when a friend tells you they no longer want to meet up. However, it’s important to avoid badmouthing them or tarnishing their reputation in any way. When your emotions settle down, both of you may realize that the friendship can still be salvaged. You might even reconcile and grow closer than before after this major disagreement. You wouldn’t want to make things worse or diminish any chance of repairing the relationship by speaking ill of them behind their back.

Know That New Friends Will Come. People come and go throughout our lives, and your friendship may simply be going through a cycle. View this as an opportunity to fill the void in your life with a stronger and healthier friendship.

Practice Gratitude. When a friendship ends, it’s easy to focus on the negative aspects. Instead, take time to reflect on the things in life that make you feel grateful. Make a list of the people who are close to you, the skills you take pride in, the organizations you’re involved in, or the tasks you love to do. Keep this list with you, whether in your wallet, handbag, or displayed above your desk, so you can read it whenever you feel lonely.

Get Out of the House. Staying at home and dwelling on the loss of your friend will only make it harder to forget them. If you find yourself spending too much time sulking indoors, it’s time to step outside. You could go for a run or hit the gym. Places with more people, like cafes, libraries, or even a concert, can help you shift your focus.

Take a Class. Pursuing a new hobby can be a great distraction and may help you meet new friends. Consider enrolling in a class that interests you to keep yourself busy. Yoga or meditation classes can be particularly helpful during times of emotional distress. Alternatively, you might join a cooking class, take dance lessons, or learn how to play a musical instrument.

Do Things You Enjoy. Don’t let the loss of a friendship prevent you from enjoying life. Make sure to carve out time for activities that bring you happiness and joy. Read a book, play video games, hang out with friends, or play an instrument. Keep yourself occupied with things that make you feel good.

Practice Patience. Healing from the loss of a friendship takes time. Even if you're feeling lonely and disappointed, understand that these feelings won’t last forever. As long as you take care of yourself, you’ll have the strength to get through this process.