Buzz
When you're feeling fatigued, your ability to recognize and dismiss irrational fears diminishes. Anxieties that you typically control begin to subtly rise, sometimes taking on new forms. You might fear things you know aren't real or have a very low chance of happening, like a thief breaking in. You might be terrified of the dark or feel uneasy in solitude. Learning to identify these fears, self-soothe, and find a peaceful night's sleep will help you reduce your nighttime fears.
Steps
Confronting Anxiety
Identify the stressors during the day. Daytime pressures can lead to restlessness and fear at night. People often feel frightened at night when they're stressed by something in their real life. Track your mood and note when you're feeling stressed, where you are, and what time it happens. What thoughts are causing that pressure?
- Do you experience heightened stress at work, school, or in certain social situations?
- People with post-traumatic stress disorder often experience nighttime fears, nightmares, and sleep disturbances. If you've suffered from trauma like violence, abuse, or danger, seek help from a therapist specialized in treating post-traumatic stress disorder.
Identify your fears. Whenever you feel scared at night, speak out about that feeling. If you're not shy, say it aloud. For example, say "I'm scared", or "I'm anxious", or "I'm thinking about frightening things." Next, point out what is causing that feeling. For instance, you could say, "The shadow of the tree on the wall scares me," or "I feel afraid at night because I feel alone and worry that no one is here to protect me."
Use your name. Talking to yourself can help calm you down and regain control over your emotions. Saying your name instead of just saying "I" can significantly increase the effect. Use your name to gently command yourself with simple, reassuring words.
- You can say, "Come on, Giang, calm down. Warm up. Pull the blanket up and close your eyes. You know that sound is just the wind, and you know it always makes you scared."
Write a journal. Writing down your fears will help you overcome them. You can record your anxieties in an "anxiety journal", or you can simply write a regular journal that includes your fears. Try writing before bed, and remember to note the things that are causing you worry.
Talk to a friend or family member. You should not bear the burden of loneliness. Confiding in a loved one can help clear your mind, and speaking about your feelings can be a healing process. You might even receive some helpful advice.
Speak with a therapist. Nighttime anxiety is still anxiety, and it becomes more difficult to manage if not clearly identified. Share your fears with a doctor, and ask them to refer you to a specialist. Talk to the doctor or therapist about your nighttime fears and ask for their help in managing stress.
Creating a Sense of Safety
Meditation or prayer. Sit on your bed or beside it, and take some time to release your worries into the world. If you're praying, try mentioning your fears in your prayer. If you're meditating, aim to clear your mind, or chant a mantra like, "I am scared, but this fear cannot harm me," or "I am safe, I am inside my home." Sit comfortably and calmly.
Deep Breathing. This technique can help you relax. Focus on the sensation of your breath moving in and out of your body. Feel the parts of your body rise and fall. Pay attention to your breathing, and gently remind yourself to do so when you begin to worry about other things.
Consider your bed as your safe space. Instead of feeling fearful and getting up from your bed at night, try to see it as your sanctuary. The bed is for relaxation and sleep. If you do anything else in bed other than sleep, make sure it’s something genuinely relaxing. If you're watching a movie in bed, choose something light. Save action-packed or intense films for when you're sitting on the couch.
- When you climb into bed, take a moment to arrange your bedding. Touch all the fabrics on the bed. Pat the pillows and smooth out the sheets. Allow yourself to fully immerse in the present moment by focusing on all the sensations you're experiencing.
- Make your bed in the morning.
Use a nightlight, but keep the light dim. If you're afraid of the dark, you can use a nightlight. However, light can interfere with your sleep, so opt for a nightlight with an automatic off function. If you're worried about waking up suddenly in pitch-black darkness, try keeping the light very dim, or place the light outside the room instead of in it.
Find comforting sensations. The feeling of loneliness at night can be one of the biggest triggers. You can tackle this by allowing others into your room. If you live with others, keep your bedroom door open at night. If you live alone, hang photos of loved ones and make phone calls in the evening. If there's someone you truly trust, like parents, siblings, or close friends, ask them to call you at a set time each night.
- You may also feel safer sleeping near a pet. Many dogs and cats love to sleep on their owner's bed. You may realize that having a pet at home can help reduce feelings of loneliness.
- Sleep with a beloved stuffed animal, a cherished blanket, or an item that reminds you of someone you love.
- Wear soft, comfortable sleepwear.
- Decorate your bedroom with items you enjoy looking at, and remove anything that might cause fear at night.
Encouraging Sleep and Deep Rest
Establish a regular sleep routine. Going to bed in a consistent order will train your body to recognize when it's time to sleep and help you relax. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Brush your teeth, use the bathroom, and perform other tasks in the same sequence each night.
Prevent nightmares. Your fear may stem from nightmares that make everything related to darkness and sleep seem frightening. To prevent nightmares, ensure you're getting plenty of deep, uninterrupted sleep. Adults should aim for seven to eight hours of sleep each night, while children and teens need about 9-11 hours.
- Avoid napping during the day. Infants and toddlers need about 3 hours of daytime sleep, but naps can disrupt sleep at night for adults, teens, and older children.
- Use the bathroom before bed. A full bladder can lead to nightmares.
- Avoid consuming alcohol or caffeine near bedtime. These can disrupt your sleep and trigger nightmares.
Take a warm bath 1-2 hours before bedtime. A warm bath will relax your body and make you feel comfortable. Your body temperature will naturally drop after stepping out of the bath, which helps you fall asleep. Stay cool. Avoid piling on too many blankets. Overheating can disrupt your sleep if the temperature becomes too hot.
Keep your body active. Exercise benefits sleep and helps reduce stress. Both of these factors can help alleviate nighttime fears. Take a walk or ride your bike during the day. Avoid exercising right before bed, as it can energize you and make falling asleep more difficult.
Advice for Children
Go to bed at the same time each night. Aim for 9-11 hours of sleep each night. If you get enough sleep and stick to a consistent bedtime, falling asleep will be much easier.
Request to be tucked into bed. No one is ever too old to be tucked into bed. Going to bed alone can leave you feeling lonely, and that loneliness can trigger fear. Ask your parents or caregivers to sit with you and wish you a good night. You can request them to read a story, sing a lullaby, or simply talk to you for a few minutes.
- Ask for a goodnight hug.
Follow the same bedtime routine every night. A consistent bedtime routine helps you relax. Try preparing for bed and doing the things you enjoy in the same order every night. You might brush your teeth, take a bath, and read a few pages of a book before falling asleep.
Avoid horror films. Horror movies, violent video games, and thrilling stories can stir up fear at night. That’s exactly their purpose! To prevent nighttime fear, you should eliminate these frightening elements. Never watch horror movies or play violent games before bed.
Imagine a peaceful scene. As you get into bed, close your eyes and picture a beautiful place. This could be a familiar, real location like your treehouse or a beach, or it could be a made-up place like a castle or a magical forest. Try to imagine as many details as possible.
Remind yourself that nightmares aren’t real. When fear creeps in, remind yourself that it’s just a feeling. Say to yourself, “It’s not a ghost, it’s just my fear.” Or, “I’m scared, but nothing can harm me.” Remind yourself to think of pleasant scenes instead of scary ones.
- If you’re worrying about real-life fears, like the death of a loved one, say, “I’m anxious at night, but that doesn’t mean night is dangerous.”
Prepare a warm, cozy bed. Make your bed inviting with soft, clean sheets and warm blankets. Add your favorite stuffed animals and comforting blankets to snuggle with. If it helps, you can leave a light on in the hallway or in your room. Choose a light that will turn off after a set time so it won’t disturb your sleep.
- Stay in bed when you feel scared. If you need help, call out. Staying in bed will help you learn that your bed is a safe space.
Talk about your fears. There’s no shame in experiencing nighttime fear. Fear can affect anyone. Even adults need help falling asleep sometimes. You can share your fears with family and friends. If a nightmare wakes you up, you can hug someone before returning to bed.
- If you wake up from a nightmare, hugging someone may help you feel better and drift back to sleep. The next morning, share the experience with your parents.
