Buzz
If you've been single for a long time, you might be wondering how to get a girlfriend—and fast. While there's no magic wand to make someone fall for you instantly, there are effective strategies to increase your chances. The following tips will guide you on where to find potential partners, how to approach them, and eventually ask them out.
Steps
Ask Friends to Set You Up
Your friends might know single women who could be a good match for you. Let your friends know you're looking to date and would appreciate introductions. They might connect you with a friend, classmate, or coworker who's also single.
- You can also ask family members if they know anyone who might be a good fit for you.
Connect with People on Social Media
You can reconnect with old friends or make new ones online. If you come across someone who catches your eye on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, try reaching out via direct message to start a conversation. Once you’ve been chatting for a while, you can ask for her number and eventually invite her out.
- If you already know her, try starting the conversation with something like, 'Hey! Remember me? We were in the same English class back in high school.'
- If you don’t know her, you could say something like, 'Hi there! You seem really interesting. I loved the photo you recently posted.'
Try Using Dating Apps
Connect with singles who are also looking for a relationship. Download apps like Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, or Hinge to start chatting with women in your area. If you find someone you like, send her a message to kick off the conversation.
- You can keep the conversation flowing by mentioning something from her profile or bio. For example, if she’s into skydiving, you could say, 'I’ve always dreamed of trying skydiving! Is it as scary as it looks?'
Join a New Group or Club
Engage with people who share your interests. If you have a hobby, look for clubs or groups that focus on it. You can also explore new activities by joining a club you’ve never heard of before. You’re bound to meet some fascinating people, and at the very least, you’ll make a few new friends.
- Try searching for such groups on Facebook or NextDoor.
Approach Women in Public Spaces
It might seem intimidating, but this approach can help you meet new people quickly. If you spot someone you find attractive in a public place, confidently approach her and start a conversation. If you’re unsure what to say, try commenting on something in the environment and let the conversation flow naturally.
- For example, if you’re at a coffee shop, you could say, 'I always get a vanilla latte. What’s your go-to order? I’m thinking of trying something new.'
- Some women might not appreciate being approached by strangers in public. That’s okay. If she doesn’t respond or seems uncomfortable, don’t push the conversation.
Pay Attention to Body Language
When you’re out, avoid closing yourself off. Instead, stand tall, keep your arms at your sides, and hold your head high. Maintain good posture, make eye contact with people, and smile as you pass by.
- Your relaxed body language signals that you’re open to chatting with strangers.
- Avoid looking at the ground or crossing your arms, as this posture suggests you’re not interested in talking.
- If you’re interested in someone, use body language to flirt. Hold eye contact a little longer, lean in slightly, or lightly touch her arm or elbow.
Ask the Girl You Like Out on a Date
When you decide to ask a girl out, plan an activity for the two of you. You could suggest a walk in the park, dinner, or a movie. Having a specific plan makes it more likely she’ll say yes.
- You could also visit a bookstore, take a cooking class together, explore a flea market, attend a poetry reading, or go stargazing.
- You might say, 'You seem really cool. Would you like to grab coffee tomorrow morning?'
Get to Know Her During the Date
This is your chance to see if you’re compatible. While on the date, talk about your interests, friends, and future plans. If you both enjoy yourselves, it’s a sign you should keep dating! If not, you might not be the right match.
- Dates don’t always go perfectly, and that’s okay. Dating is the only way to figure out if she’s the right person for you (and if she feels the same way).
Spend More Time Together
If the first date goes smoothly, consider inviting her out again. Plan another activity for just the two of you or ask for her input. Continue dating until both feel a deep understanding of each other.
- Explore various exciting activities together. You could go hiking, rollerblading, visit the beach, enjoy a night out at a bar, or go camping.
Reflect on whether you are compatible with her
Pay attention to your feelings when you are with her during your dates. Just because you've gone out a few times doesn't mean you're destined to be soulmates. If you enjoy each other's company, can talk about anything under the sun, and you think she's a good person, then perhaps you're a match made in heaven.
- On the other hand, if you often run out of things to talk about, argue, or don't genuinely enjoy each other's company, it might be time to look for love elsewhere.
- If you're not compatible, let her know that there's no spark and that you don't see the relationship going anywhere.
Ask her to be your girlfriend when you're ready
Once you feel you understand her well, you can confess your feelings. There's no set timeline for when to express your feelings, but it's advisable to have gone on several dates first. Try asking her to be your girlfriend during a special outing to create a memorable moment.
- You might say something like, 'I really like you, and I'm so happy to have you by my side. Would you agree to officially be my girlfriend?'
Keep searching if she isn't the right match for you
It might take a few tries to find the right girlfriend. If after a few dates you realize you're not compatible, that's okay! The key is not to get discouraged and to keep trying. Continue your search until you meet someone who truly feels like your other half.
- The more you date, the higher your chances of finding the right girlfriend.
Advice
- Try not to focus solely on finding a girlfriend. Instead, concentrate on meeting new people. This approach will reduce pressure and increase your chances of success.
