Theme Women – IELTS Writing examples

IELTS Writing task 1

TASK 1: The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015.

Example

The provided bar chart illustrates a comparison of the proportion of female high school graduates engaged in higher education across five developed countries between 1980 and 2015. 

In general, the percentage of women pursuing advanced studies exhibited an upward trajectory, with the exception of Australia where the trend remained relatively stable from 1980 to 2015. Additionally, Australian women consistently demonstrated the highest participation rates in higher education, while South Korea recorded the lowest figures during the same period. 

In 1980, females going into higher education in Australia accounted for approximately 60%, ranking first among the given countries. France followed closely behind at 50%, while the USA and the UK made up about 38% and 35%, respectively. With only around 15% of women joining higher education, South Korea had the lowest rate, significantly lagging behind other countries this year.

Turning to 2015, the most notable changes were the increases in female school-leavers enrolling in higher education in the USA and the UK, with the former jumping to almost 60% – a similar percentage as in Australia, and the latter rising to 55% – as the case in France. South Korea, despite a two-fold growth rate of 15%, was again the country with the lowest proportion.

Glossary

• lagging behind (verb phrase): tụt lại phía sau 
• two-fold growth rate (noun phrase)): tỉ lệ tăng gấp đôi

Analysis

In general, the participation rate of women in higher education in countries tends to increase, except in Australia where it remains relatively stable. Additionally, Australia also has the highest overall proportion of women participating in higher education compared to all other countries, while North Korea has the lowest rate during the mentioned period. 

Lưu ý: Với bài có hai mốc thời gian, hướng đi hợp lý là tìm kiếm sự tăng, giảm, hay không đổi của các đối tượng để nêu bật trong phần tổng quan, đồng thời so sánh chung để chỉ ra đối tượng có số liệu cao – lớn nhất và ngược lại. Phần thân bài nên chia thành từng mốc thời gian để viết; sắp xếp thứ tự từ lớn xuống bé của các đối tượng để làm rõ sự so sánh.

Qua khung thời gian thứ hai, sẽ viết về xu hướng tăng giảm kết hợp chung sự so sánh giữa các đối tượng đáng chú để để làm nổi bật số liệu… Một số cụm, cấu trúc và ngữ pháp nhằm tạo sự đa dạng: “showed an upward trend”; “the trend was fairly stable”; “followed closely behind”; “significantly lagging behind other”; “the former jumping to”; “the latter rising to”; “despite a two-fold growth rate”.

IELTS Writing task 2

TASK 2: Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Example

The role of women in the military provides a vivid and illustrative example of the evolving role of women in professions and bureaucratic structures. In my view, despite the fact that women are not traditionally seen as suitable for such roles, gender equality should prevail in these areas. 

Proponents of women’s exclusion from the police or military forces often contend that these positions can have a number of disadvantages. They assert that women may lack physical strength and combat skills as compared to men. The demanding nature of these occupations includes combat situations and physical confrontations, which often put women at a disadvantage.

This is demonstrated clearly when a policewoman confronts an armed criminal in a store as she may face challenges in successfully subduing the criminal and ensuring the safety of everyone involved. This is due to the criminal’s physical advantage, their aggressive intent, and the need for swift action. Another risk for women in the police or military forces is dealing with an increased risk of abuse. Sometimes, this is both by members of their own unit or by potential enemy combatants if they are captured.

Nevertheless, the incorporation of women in direct combat roles and in administrative positions can be beneficial. One significant advantage is gender equality. The role of women in society was historically restricted to bearing kids and managing household affairs. Women should now take on responsibilities and adopt an active role in fields that were once considered the traditional domain of men, as it is now generally acknowledged that all humans are equal. Another advantage is that a female figure serving in the armed forces can serve as a positive role model for women in general. They can be an excellent example for those who wish to follow in their footsteps and demonstrate that they are capable of performing any task.

In conclusion, regardless of physical and potential skills differences, the benefits in terms of gender equality and providing a positive role model make the incorporation of women in the police or military forces overall positive. It is the responsibility of both the government and society at large to acknowledge the role of women and develop a plan for the approval and inclusion of women in all spheres of life.

Vocabulary

• Combat skills (noun phrase): kỹ năng chiến đấu
• Confrontations (noun): những cuộc đối đầu 
• Risk of abuse (noun phrase): nguy cơ bị lạm dụng
• Enemy combatants (noun phrase): những kẻ địch trong chiến đấu
• Adopt (verb): đảm nhận
• Traditional domain (noun phrase): lĩnh vực truyền thống
• At large (adv): as a whole, tổng thể, nhìn chung
• Spheres of life (noun phrase): các lĩnh vực của cuộc sống

Analysis 

Viewpoint: Despite women not being seen as suitable for police or military roles, in my opinion, gender equality should still be enforced in these fields. 

Supporting the exclusion of women from police or military forces:

• Có thể thiếu sức mạnh về thể chất và kỹ năng chiến đấu so với nam giới, do đặc thù của ngành đòi hỏi cao về các tình huống chiến đấu và đối đầu vật lý, thường khiến phụ nữ có thể bị tổn thương hơn. 
• Đối mặt với nguy cơ bị lạm dụng gia tăng; đôi khi là từ chính đồng nghiệp trong ngành hoặc từ những kẻ mà họ bắt giữ

• Thể hiện sự bình đẳng giới tính: đã không còn thời mà phụ nữ bị mặc định cho việc sinh con và chăm sóc việc nhà
• Những người phụ nữ này có thể là một tấm gương tích cực cho phụ nữ nói chung.