Buzz
Woody Allen is widely regarded as one of the most esteemed and productive filmmakers of the contemporary era. His creations are deeply rooted in literature, philosophy, psychology, Jewish traditions, European film, and his lifelong home, New York City. While some may find his films an acquired taste, his sharp wit and brilliance are undeniable. Below is a curated collection of 25 of his most memorable quotes, drawn from both his personal life and screenwriting.
Quotes 1 – 5
1. Even Harvard isn’t infallible—after all, Kissinger was once a professor there.
2. His despair was so profound that he attempted to end his life by breathing in the air near an Armenian.
3. As the poet once remarked, ‘Only God can create a tree,’ likely because figuring out how to attach the bark is no simple task.
4. I’m grateful for laughter, though it’s less enjoyable when milk escapes through my nose.
5. Death doesn’t frighten me; I simply prefer not to be present when it occurs.
Quotes 6 – 10
6. I’m convinced that someone is always observing us. Sadly, it’s usually the government.
7. I shouldn’t have to settle for a polite peck on the lips when what I truly desire is a passionate French kiss with my wife.
8. Achieving immortality through my work isn’t my goal; I’d rather accomplish it by simply avoiding death altogether.
9. My reflexes are terrible—I was once hit by a car that two men were pushing.
10. After taking a speed-reading class, I managed to read War and Peace in just twenty minutes. It’s about Russia.
Quotes 11 – 15
11. I felt nauseous and tingly all over. I couldn’t tell if I was falling in love or coming down with smallpox.
12. I’d describe him as a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would just be stating the obvious.
13. It amazes me how some people strive to understand the universe when navigating Chinatown is already a challenge.
14. My prowess as a lover comes from the extensive practice I’ve had by myself.
15. I take great pride in my gold pocket watch, which my grandfather sold to me on his deathbed.
Quotes 16 – 20
16. If even one more person feels miserable after watching my films, I’ll consider my job well done.
17. In Beverly Hills, they don’t discard their trash—they turn it into TV shows.
18. Life is a mix of misery, loneliness, and suffering, and it ends far too quickly.
19. Most days, I don’t have much fun, and the rest of the time, I don’t have any fun whatsoever.
20. My biggest regret in life is that I’m not somebody else.
Quotes 21 – 25
21. A man bumped into my car, and I advised him to ‘be fruitful and multiply,’ though I phrased it differently.
22. Death isn’t the worst thing in life—have you ever endured an evening with an insurance agent?
23. What if reality is just an illusion and nothing truly exists? If so, I definitely spent too much on my carpet.
24. After I was kidnapped, my parents acted swiftly—they immediately rented out my room.
25. You might live to see a hundred, but only if you abandon everything that makes you wish to reach that age.
