Topic Money and business – IELTS Writing examples

IELTS Writing task 1

Task 1: The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010.

Example

The given line chart delineates the profits earned by three distinct bakeries in Calgary over 10 consecutive years from 2000.

The initial impression from the chart is that earnings of Mari Bakeshop showed a general downward trend while the opposite was true for Amandine Bakery and Bolo Cakery, with the former witnessing the more significant increase in the later half of the period. It is evident that Amandine Bakery incomes had exceeded that of Mari Bakeshop by 2006 to become the most profitable bakery.

Mari earnings ranked first, which stood at 80000 dollars in 2000, while Amandine Bakery lagged behind. The first figure then surged to around 87000 dollars before dropping to just over 60000 dollars in 2005, despite a short soar in 2004, while the second remained stable at under 60000 dollars over the first 5 years. The gap between two bakeries continued reducing before meeting at 60000 just by 2006. Since then, their trends started to diverge with Amandine Bakery peaking at over 100000 dollars and Mari Bakeshop hitting a bottom of 40000 dollars at the end of the timespan.

Bolo Cakery income held the last position, amounting to 20000 dollars in the year 2000. The statistic thereafter climbed slightly in 2001 but later dwindled before regaining its upward streak to just shy of 40000 dollars in 2003. There was a stability in its earnings in 4 upcoming years, after which this figure saw a continuous upward trajectory to approximately 62000 dollars in 2010.

Key Vocabulary

• Consecutive (a): liên tiếp
• Profitable (a): thuộc về lợi nhuận
• Lagged behind (Phrasal verb): theo sau
• Diverge (v): Cách xa ra
• Amounting to (v): lên đến
• A continuous upward trajectory (noun phrase): xu hướng tăng liên tục

Analysis

Nhìn chung lợi nhuận của Mari Bakeshop giảm trong khi Amandine Bakery and Bolo Cakery tăng. Lợi nhuận của Amandine Baker sau quá trình tăng liên tục đã vượt mặt Mari Bakeshop để trở thành shop bánh mang lại nhiều lợi nhuận nhất.

• Body 1 mô tả xu hướng của Amandine Baker and Mari Bakeshop. Sử dụng linh hoạt các cấu trúc ngữ pháp xếp hạng, tăng giảm, cũng như các liên kết để không gây sự chú ý. 
• Body 2 mô tả xu hướng của Bolo Cakery. Thể hiện đầy đủ số liệu, dùng đa dạng các cấu trúc timeline và từ nối thời gian.

IELTS Writing task 2

Task 2: Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Agree or disagree?

Example

Our inability to define happiness exactly has ratcheted up public interest in the question of whether money is the most essential determinant in obtaining happiness. I believe happiness is mainly a result of finances in developing countries, while other factors are more important when it comes to well-being in developed nations.

Granted, people in underdeveloped countries, particularly those in deprived areas, have struggled to meet basic human needs such as accommodation, food, and education for a long time. The recent economic prosperity in these areas therefore has relieved people from the constant stress of making ends meet, significantly facilitating their life satisfaction. They can now even afford a range of luxuries, from exotic specialties and designer clothes to overseas vacations or studying abroad, which were seemingly impossible during economic turbulence periods before.

Vietnam provides an example of this trend, as the expanded middle class and the newly-emerging upper class make great contributions to the economy through purchasing. As a result, such people report a great sense of happiness, because they are becoming more financially prosperous.

On the other hand, those living in industrialized countries have enjoyed high levels of living standards for a long time, but their sense of well-being has been proven to plummet. Admittedly, there is a strong correlation between wealth and happiness, but this link tends to disappear when they reach a certain level of richness.

Consequently, the pursuit of material possessions has made these people susceptible to anxiety, physical exhaustion, loose relationships with their loved ones, which can lead to a decrease in their overall well-being. It is evident that good physical health, stable mental wellness, and intimate bonds are more powerful pre-requisites for happiness for them since no amount of wealth can buy relief from chronic suffering or fulfill the void of frayed relationships.

In conclusion, people from underprivileged countries might feel happier mainly due to financial factors, while the level of happiness of those living in privileged nations depends more on their health and relationships. It is not an overstatement to say that both should avoid falling victim to materialism and strive towards a balance between financial prosperity and personal well-being.

Key Vocabulary

• Developing countries (n): quốc gia đang phát triển
• Basic human needs (n): nhu cầu cơ bản
• Economic turbulence periods (n): giai đoạn bất ổn kinh tế
• Financially prosperous. (a): thịnh vượng 
• Well-being (n): hạnh phúc về cả tinh thần và thể chất
• Materialism (n): chủ nghĩa vật chất
• Susceptible (a): dễ mắc phải

Analysis

The introduction should paraphrase the question and clearly state the writer's viewpoint.

• Body 1 giải thích tại sao tài chính là nhân tố quan trọng nhất để đạt được hạnh phúc đối với các nước đang phát triển. Support bằng các dẫn chứng về việc nâng cao chất lượng cuộc sống cũng như đáp ứng các nhu cầu xa xỉ, điều mà không thể đạt được trong giai đoạn kinh tế bất ổn
• Body 2 trình bày lý do tại sao tiền không phải là yếu tố chính để những người sống ở các quốc gia phát triển cảm thấy hạnh phúc hơn. Mô tả các nhân tố khác có vai trò quan trọng hơn đối với các quốc gia này

In conclusion, summarize the writer's viewpoint and provide a final thought.