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Sexting is among the methods for maintaining intimacy in long-distance relationships. However, it's essential for young individuals to prioritize safety to avoid online troubles.
Sexting can be seen as a way for long-distance couples to feel closer. However, not all long-distance couples need sexting.
What is Sexting?
Sexting, a fusion of “sex” and “texting,” involves exchanging messages about romantic matters via electronic devices. This exchange can occur through text alone or incorporate audio, images, videos, emojis, animated images (GIFs), and various other visual formats.
In the era of the Internet and burgeoning dating apps, sexting has become more prevalent than ever, particularly among the youth. Sending intimate messages is a way for them to satisfy their natural human desires.
Sexting refers to the exchange of messages about romantic matters via electronic devices. Illustrator: Hina.
Benefits of Sexting
In my view, exchanging intimate messages doesn't make someone 'bad' or 'promiscuous.' In fact, sexting can bring certain benefits.
Specifically, this activity can help couples heat up their emotions and maintain desire for each other, sometimes serving as a healthy way to resolve sexual conflicts, especially for geographically distant couples.
Additionally, sexting can introduce new experiences to couples by providing a 'passive' love experience.
However, couples, especially young individuals, need to understand sexting properly to ensure the safety of their information and mental well-being for both themselves and their partners.
When is the Right Time for Sexting?
Sexting can occur in any situation or relationship, not necessarily between long-distance lovers.
It could be in a long-term romantic relationship with regular face-to-face contact, or a short-term relationship that lasts only a few days, hours. The nature of each type of relationship will be related to the risk level of sexting.
For me, long-term relationships are considered the least risky. In those cases, both parties have enough space, time to understand each other's likes, dislikes, and needs, as well as some basic personal information such as home address, workplace, or friends before deciding to exchange intimate messages.
Sharing personal information reduces the risk of intentional message leaks. In case of accidental message leakage, both parties can meet, exchange, or seek intervention from investigative agencies.
Sexting can happen in any situation or relationship, not necessarily between long-distance lovers. Illustration: Tricia Lim/The Gauntlet.
Sexting can be seen as a way for long-distance couples to feel closer. However, not all long-distance couples need sexting. Depending on their needs, each couple will develop their own methods of maintaining love across geographical distances. All advice and support should be personalized according to individual circumstances.
Sexting can also occur in short-term relationships. These individuals often use dating apps, and sexting is a tool for both parties to openly discuss their personal needs.
Through intimate messages, both parties can discuss personal preferences in more detail, such as sexual characteristics, body odors, clothing preferences..., which may lead to considering meeting in person outside of the messaging app.
How to Sext Safely and Appropriately?
After some time getting to know each other, couples may broach the topic of sexting. With a foundation of an existing relationship, including emotions and trust, initiating the conversation may not be too difficult.
However, I've noticed three points that couples should discuss before engaging in sexting.
Sending sexting messages is a personal decision. Therefore, we must take responsibility for the entire process of performing the action - from posing for photos to pressing the 'send' button.
The principle of consent also limits the risk of sexting becoming sexual harassment. Both parties need to listen to each other, especially indicating dissatisfaction with an interaction during sexting, in order to make appropriate adjustments.
Even the initiation signals need to be agreed upon to avoid instances of message content being exposed. For example, at the moment you unexpectedly start sexting, the other person may be in the middle of a live presentation and intimate messages may accidentally appear on the large screen.
It's best to establish personal rules about sexting. This will help you visualize boundaries and be able to respond promptly if issues arise.
Currently, there are several chat applications on the market developing end-to-end encryption (E2EE) or secret messaging features, activating automatic message deletion scheduling.
Awareness of responsibility, consent, and careful app selection are top considerations for couples preparing for sexting. Illustration: Tero Vesalainen/Pexels & Patrick Carey/ABC Everyday.
Furthermore, after sending sexting messages, check if your phone or electronic device still stores any copies. The risk of leakage can come from phone hacking, especially when using apps with malicious source code. To reduce security risks, you should use specialized antivirus software.
On the other hand, we need to be cautious of inauthentic online relationships.
On social media, many accounts use fake identities to lure individuals into sending sensitive messages containing images or videos, which are then sold.
These individuals are willing to spend considerable time chatting online with their targets, building trust and emotions. Over time, the target loses vigilance and mistakenly believes it's a genuine emotional relationship. Most accounts showing signs of scams will refuse video calls or in-person meetings to avoid revealing their true identity.
What to do when messages are leaked?
'If at any point the rice isn't cooked well, and the soup isn't tasty, how will you handle it?' is a question I often pose to couples when advising them on using sexting.
In this situation, all we can rely on is each other's kindness and civilized behavior after the breakup. When you start sexting, you accept the risk you might face. At the moment you send sexual messages, you lose control over that content, especially your images or videos.
In the event of sexual message leakage, whether accidental or intentional, we need to stay calm. In addition to reporting to the police or relevant authorities, we need to focus on handling personal media crises.
The usual reaction of victims is to avoid, such as locking social media accounts or begging for forgiveness. However, in reality, this reaction only increases the bully's (the initiator of message content) interest.
Instead, react directly and forcefully to neutralize the bully's manipulation. At this point, creating fear through their threats will no longer be effective.
For inexperienced or psychologically unstable victims, seek help from experts in personal media crisis management. Although this approach may incur some costs, professionals will help devise strategies to end and mitigate the consequences of the scandal as soon as possible.
Đặng Khánh An – Psychological Expert
– Executive Director and Supervisor at Touching Soul Center Psychological Therapy Center
– Clinical psychologist, Ho Chi Minh City University Medical Center
– Lecturer at Pham Ngoc Thach University of Medicine and Ho Chi Minh City University of Technology.
Posted by: Nha Le
Keywords: What is Sexting? How to Sext Safely?
